Jokes between friends are all well and good, until one person takes the joke way too far.
A Redditor found himself in this situation with a coworker, who kept joking so much about him being her “baby daddy” that people at work started asking if he actually was the father.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by maybetoofar_1 on the site, wasn’t sure about how he’d handled the situation, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
“AITA for getting mad at friend who keeps joking that her baby is mine?”
“I (23M[ale]) work at this small shop and I’ve known my friend Addy for almost 2 years. She likes to joke that we’re work spouses because we always work the same shifts and get along. Addy doesn’t say it all the time so it didn’t bother me before.”
“She got pregnant 5 months ago and I guess she’s planning on doing it on her own. But a couple months ago she started making jokes that I’m her baby’s daddy. First time she made a joke we were in the break room.”
“Her feet were really tired and she wanted the good chair we have in there with the comfy cushion. I was already sitting there and she said something like ‘Bitch move your baby mama needs that seat.’ Btw ‘bitch’ isn’t a big deal since we talk to eachother like that sometimes. I looked at her because I was confused.”
“I took it as she was joking so I told her to shut up because that baby isn’t mine. Addy made a few more jokes like that or asking me to make myself useful to help her with stuff at work because she’s carrying my kid. She’s only made a few of these around me and I’ve told her to stop bullshi**ing.”
“One time I was closing up with my coworker and she goes ‘hey so is it true then?’ Then she says she thought we were just messing around but that Addy was saying we hooked up once and I’m definitely likely the daddy.”
“Everyone was starting to wonder now because she’s said it a lot of times when I’m not around. And that’s just not even close to being true. Seriously, wtf. I have a girlfriend that I’ve been with 5 years.”
“Next time I saw Addy was before our shift was starting and I asked her wtf she’s been telling everyone. Like why would she even make shit up about us hooking up because she’s the last person I’d ever sleep with. Addy got super upset about it because to her she was just joking around and I don’t have to snap at her.”
“But it just made me so mad that she was telling this behind my back. Our other coworkers around us saw so she got all emotional and went to the bathroom. We’re not talking to eachother but she has said I was such a dick for getting mad at her jokes when she wasn’t being serious and embarrassing her in front of everyone.”
“Now I don’t know if I was being an asshole or not.”
OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who is in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
People were definitely not on Addy’s side, especially since she lied to their colleagues about the whole thing.
“NTA this wasn’t a joke. She lied and told people you slept together so they would believe the baby was yours. You need to go and talk to someone in HR immediately and file a report. This isn’t going to go well and you need to have documentation about what has been going on.” —t27lyne
“And consult a family lawyer to be safe — probably going to HR is sufficient, but this sounds unhinged enough that I’d want a quick professional opinion on whether I needed to do anything else to protect myself from her trying to somehow establish paternity.” —chi_lawyer
“I might be wrong, especially in regards to a workplace, but couldn’t this also count as sexual harassment? In terms of her lying to people that they’ve had a relationship. Idk if it still classes that way legally but morally,,,,yikes. OP needs to file a report fast.” —lezibeans
“NTA – that’s more than a joke it’s a really harmful accusation. Give your girlfriend a heads up in case Addy goes psycho…” —tonks-lupin1313
“…Addy sure gives vibes of ‘I want you and just joke around about it’ vibes, it wouldn’t be surprising if she had an obsessive crush on op and this is her way of trying to ‘win’ him over – definitely could escalate quickly. NTA, of course BTW” —Portokalia_Naranja
“NTA. You need to take this to HR or your manager, preferably in writing. Be calm and professional. Stick to the facts, not emotions or judgement calls.”
“‘Addy has made multiple comments in the workplace leading other employees to believe her child is mine and that we had a sexual relationship. We have never had a sexual relationship of any kind and I am not the father of her child. Addy’s behavior is creating a work environment where I do not feel comfortable.'” —Obiterdicta
“NTA. ‘Work husband’ and things along that line are a joke I guess, if both people are ok with it. But lying to your coworkers that you two had sex and that you are actually the father is not ok. I would go to HR because things like that can really ruin your reputation in the workplace.” —Aggressive-Sample612
“NTA. She doesn’t get to tell people you hooked up and probably the father (especially without making it clear that she was kidding) without suffering the consequences. Due to the severity if her lie and what that could lead to, I don’t blame you for snapping at her” —AdministrationThis77
Let this be a lesson to all of us to be careful with how we joke around at work.