Being courteous seems like a lost art form these days.
Sometimes it can feel like nobody wants to help anybody.
Many humans have lost the ability to be kind.
But then there are also people who love to take advantage of the kindness of others.
Entitlement is a big problem.
Case in point…
Redditor Shot-Plantain2553 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling a pregnant lady to sit down?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So today I (22 F[emale]) was at a coffee shop and I was like 2nd in line to order when a pregnant lady and her friend came up and just stood beside me and asked if they could go next.”
“Now I was really hungry and tired and it was around 4 in the afternoon and I hadn’t eaten anything since the previous night.”
“The place was also like really hot and I have a habit of fainting under those exact circumstances: no food and extreme heat.”
“So I told them sorry but no they can’t order before me.”
“Then the friend of the pregnant lady told me that if I didn’t notice, the lady was pregnant so they really just wanted to order so she could sit down.”
“I then said, ‘Unless you’re pregnant as well, why don’t you just let the pregnant lady sit down and you join the back of the line and order for the both of you.'”
“The friend got visibly annoyed so they walked to the back of the line.”
“There were like 4 or 5 people behind me so that made them like the 6th person to order.”
“It was then my turn to order so I just did and went about my day but now that I’m thinking about it.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. I’ve been pregnant with twins and I would never have cut in line.” ~ Agitated_Cheek4890
“I own a uterus but have never been pregnant (thank the Gods).”
“If I’m in line for the restroom and a pregnant person needs to go ahead of me?”
“By all means, please go! I completely understand my bladder isn’t being squished and I can wait.”
“But the OP is NTA: the suggestion was completely reasonable, to be honest.” ~ ceabethab
“Also, you can’t skip over the other 4-5 people in the queue behind OP, and just ask her for cutsies.”
“OP cannot give permission to line jump all of them.”
“I’ve needed to ask to cut in line before- only 2 people ahead of me- and I seriously first asked the person directly in front of me if they would be okay with me asking the queue leader to cut since I would be cutting them too.”
“I would never even entertain thinking it’s okay to go right to the front of a 5-6 person deep queue and not ask any of the others first. OP, NTA.” ~ BestestBruja
“It’s definitely not easy but it’s not a disability!”
“I’m pregnant with my 3rd and barring any serious complications it’s nothing that should get special treatment.”
“And definitely not the special treatment you feel ENTITLED to.”
“Something tells me they were entitled even before she was pregnant.” ~ kimchisodelicious
“I agree with this, it’s common good manners to offer your seat to a pregnant woman on a bus.”
“I don’t take public transport, I don’t live in a city (anymore).”
“But in general, we’re not entitled to really anything a non-pregnant person isn’t.”
“Designated things like parking spots and seats of course.”
“But jumping lines, expecting to inconvenience others just because you’re heavily pregnant, is not the vibe.” ~ kimchisodelicious
“I’m in the third trimester and the only thing I feel ‘entitled’ to is those parking spots for pregnant women and new moms that are just a little bit wider, and by a cart corral.”
“Only because otherwise I can’t get in and out of my car anymore without walking from the very very edge of the parking lot.”
“Even then if a new mom with a pram was eyeing it, I’m giving it to her.”
“Other than that, nope.”
“Not a damn thing I deserve more than another person, and certainly not skipping a queue (unless maybe bathroom, but I’ve yet to encounter a line).” ~ Internal_Screaming_8
“I had the opposite experience to OP.”
“I’ve had people cut in front of me while pregnant lol.”
“I was the only one waiting patiently at the stand for a Costco staff person to make a new tray of samples.”
“Everyone was reaching behind her screen and grabbing them as fast as she could make them.”
“She managed to get about 4 on a tray and this old guy bumps past me and grabs two, and two other ladies also cut in front and grabbed the next two.”
“I just loudly muttered ‘I guess I’ll keep waiting’ and one lady looked back and seemed to feel a little guilty after noticing I was pregnant.”
“I honestly just moved on. I’ve had lots of people cut in line at checkouts in different stores as well, it’s pretty annoying.”
“As for OP, having the friend wait in line is the right move for sure.”
“If the lady was alone I would maybe consider it, but only if I wasn’t desperate myself.” ~ General_Esdeath
“NTA. I’ve been pregnant and would never have assumed I could cut a line like that.”
“It’s not fair to the people behind you either.” ~ mommyjeans
“NTA. If the pregnant lady was really having trouble standing in a short line then she should’ve sat down while her friend ordered for her.”
“This is not an excuse to cut in line while everyone has waited their turn. OP you’re NTA.” ~ ArtisticResearcher6
“I once had an obviously very pregnant lady in line in front of me, she asked me if I could hold her spot so she could sit until it was her turn.”
“Abso-freaking-lutly lady.”
“She’s not cutting, she didn’t ask to cut, she still waited the same amount of time.”
“No one was hurt by it, no one lost anything by it, she didn’t feel entitled to anyone else’s time.”
“It changed nothing for me or anyone else to let her sit while she was waiting.”
“Being pregnant can be so hard, and I’m all for helping people when they need it, but I’m not going to light myself on fire to keep you warm.”
“I will however scooch over a bit so you can share my fire with me.” ~ Tygerlyli
“I think this person was rather trying to say that if standing is so unbearable for this pregnant woman, then, unfortunately, this problem is still on her and she is the one who needs to work around it, instead of asking people this sort of thing.”
“She should make plans that allow her to participate in society and leisure activities without counting on people just dropping everything to accommodate her, you know?”
“And if her plans, counting on herself and her loved ones only, are not something she can bear, then she shouldn’t be doing them instead of expecting others to accommodate her and leave their spot and change their lives for plans she isn’t fit for.”
“That’s all.”
“Plus as OP suggested, there was a perfectly fine solution without having to cut the line and make 5 people accommodate her.”
“Five people who may ALSO have their own issues and reasons to go through the line quickly, like OP.”
“What if someone in the line was like, in chronic pain? Disabled? You never know.”
“She isn’t special and shouldn’t expect to be accommodated.”
“The friend could’ve ordered.”
“THAT should be the kind of accommodation she should plan for, not asking strangers to do her a favor.” ~ Aelle29
“Okay, OP is clearly NTA here, but this is bull crap.”
“Any woman who is dealing with a particularly uncomfortable pregnancy should just lock herself up at home and gestate in isolation?”
“A lot of times when women are this uncomfortable, it lasts for 6+ weeks.”
“I was massively uncomfortable with twins for 10 weeks.”
“Never leaving my house for 10 weeks would have been a nightmare for my mental health.”
“No, we should not expect pregnant women to put themselves on house arrest because they are uncomfortable.”
“That doesn’t mean she has to impose on others.”
“She should have gotten a wheelchair, placed an online order, sent a friend to order, or asked the person at the back of the line to hold her place while she sat.”
“There are plenty of options other than skipping the line.”
“But ‘just stay home’ is a cruel suggestion.” ~ etds3
“NTA. I’ve been pregnant.”
“There’s no reason why she can’t wait in line like everyone else and if there were a medical reason then her friend is the AH for not waiting in line to order for her.” ~ northstarette
OP came back to chat…
“Thank you all for the responses!!!”
“I wasn’t able to reply to them all ’cause there is so much but the general consensus says that I am not the a**hole.”
“So I’m gonna go with that.”
“I was feeling a bit guilty but thanks to you guys I’m no longer doubting my response.”
“There were a few that said I had no sympathy for the lady but there were multiple pregnant women in the comments saying that I was NTA.”
“So I’ll go with those responses.”
“Once again thank you very much.”
Well, OP, Reddit sounds pretty strongly on your side.
You were there first.
You gave a solution to the situation.
Sounds like she may need to find better friends.