Pregnancy comes with a lot of side effects.
It’s all part of the fun, right? Well, maybe.
The effects can often be an issue for the partner of a pregnant person.
They too have to roll with the ups and downs.
And if partners are not on the same page regarding how to deal, serious problems can arise.
Case in point…
Redditor peoplepleasingthefam wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for having alcohol around my pregnant wife?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife (29 F[emale]) is four months pregnant and cannot stand the smell of alcohol even the smallest whiff from your breath or clothes will send her spewing.”
“I (31 M[ale]) love whiskey in the evening time.”
“I would drink a glass, proceed to brush, and use mouthwash, so my wife doesn’t barf on me when she sees me.”
“Yet, she runs away from me whenever I’m even a meter away because she claims she can still smell it from a mile away.”
“We haven’t even kissed at night due to this, and I have tried everything to eliminate the whiskey smell.”
“Yet, she still believes she can smell the faint whiskey, which makes her lose it completely.”
“A couple days ago, I changed my clothes, showered after it, and told her that ‘I promise the smell is gone,’ she proceeds to hug me and quickly runs to the bathroom… to vomit.”
“She comes back to tell me that ‘she isn’t coming near me at night until this baby comes out.'”
“Proceeds to tell me that she was ‘right’ and that ‘I am being inconsiderate to her introduction to motherhood.'”
“Even though I think I am being overly considerate and trying my best to get rid of this ‘whiskey scent’ that she can apparently smell from a mile away.”
“She has proceeded to move into our guest bedroom until the foreseeable future.”
“I told her she is overreacting and that it is quite disrespectful.”
“She told me that she isn’t trying to be any of those things; she just can’t stand the smell of alcohol.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“I too enjoy whiskey.”
“I don’t need a glass every night, or even most nights.”
“And if it was making a loved one literally vomit, I would go without.”
‘“I love my alcohol more than my wife’ is a terrible look for a relationship.” ~ Lilitu9Tails
“Yeah, this whole post immediately read alcoholic to me.”
“He’s tried everything to not smell like whisky every night other than not drinking whisky every night.”
“It comes off like that’s not even an option in his mind.”
“He drove his pregnant wife out of their bed by making her sick, and he’s upset at her because he can’t possibly live without drinking whisky every night and he also wants to be kissed even if makes her literally hurl.”
“However, I want to address some basic medical things about the situation…”
“Many pregnant women have an increased sense of smell/sensitivity to certain smells.”
“She may literally be able to smell things you can’t.”
“This can often be tied to smells making you nauseous, and it is theorized to be a way for pregnant women to avoid eating things that could make them ill and harm the baby.”
“She isn’t faking.”
“You are literally making your pregnant wife feel sick every single day.”
“Alcohol breath is coming from inside your body where the alcohol is metabolized.”
“Yes, if you reek because it’s coming out your pours, a shower can help.”
“And brushing teeth and mouthwash can also help.”
“But this is coming from inside you, so really what you can do to fully prevent this is not drink.”
“You actually think she’s being disrespectful by not wanting to feel sick every single night?”
“It seems like a decent man would just not drink, or if you’re too addicted not to make your wife and baby sick every single day the least you could do is be the one who gives up the bed.”
“She’s only 4 months pregnant, and you’re already picking alcohol over your family.”
“Your poor kid.”
“Edit: to be clear, I don’t think drinking alcohol is innately bad.”
“I just think making your pregnant wife sick every single day is something decent men would care they are doing, and they’d be able to restrain themselves if they cared and weren’t addicts.” ~ TheHatOnTheCat
“I can testify to the increased sense of smell having had two kids, the youngest being 6 weeks.”
“I could smell even the slightest hint of almost anything.”
“And had a particular talent of picking up cigarette smoke and alcohol, even after my husband had showered, used deodorant, and scrubbed the crap out of his teeth.”
“I was lucky it didn’t set me off spewing, but plenty of other things did instead.”
“And I relied on medication the entirety of both pregnancies to not spew constantly.”
I know for a fact that if I had asked my husband to stop eating or drinking something that was triggering my morning sickness, he wouldn’t have hesitated to do it for me.”
“OP needs to get his head out of his a** and make sacrifices, he will be soon enough when the kid is here so should learn how to now.” ~ Sji95
“I also have a muted sense of smell but when pregnant it was off the charts good which absolutely sucks!!”
“It’s not fun smelling everything, certain people even smelled terrible to me.”
“Thankfully my husband for some reason smelled like chocolate.”
“But lots of things (my goodness Parmesan cheese made me want to sell my home and move away to a forest) smelled super strong and horrible.”
“This guy is an a**hole.”
“And probably an alcoholic.” ~ blart101
“All of this. I’m addicted to alcohol.”
“I’m aware it’s a problem, I’m working on it, and it’s f**kin’ hard.”
“I fail a lot of nights.”
“I know how hard it is to give up even just one drink at night.”
“So I have some compassion for OP because I’m getting the vibes that this may be a bigger problem than he is admitting, either here or to himself.”
“But I also feel like, maybe there’s more to it for his wife as well.”
“OP this is the kind of thing that can blow your whole life and marriage up.”
“Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking. Seriously.”
“Step back and take a good look at that.”
“Think about that fact.”
“You need to wake up to the reality of this situation.”
“My sister left her husband because he was an alcoholic, and refused to get help or even really understand how seriously my sister took it.”
“This was just a couple of years ago.”
“They have two little girls (2 and 5 at the time of divorce).”
“She’s already remarried, and he is still in denial not only of his problem but in denial that his whole life fell apart, and drinking his sorrows away.”
“He was TA, and I say this as an alcoholic myself. If you seriously cannot give up your nightly whiskey then you have a problem.”
“I hope you can take a hard look at this.”
“Just gonna link this sub here; it’s got some incredibly supportive people who are working their way through their own journeys. r/stopdrinking… “ ~ Maxwells_Demona
“Thank you for this!”
“I am a pregnant wife, and I can always smell the alcohol after my husband drinks.”
“In fact, I can smell the garlic, too.”
“There is nothing more frustrating than being repulsed by the smell of my husband, especially since he is the man I chose to have this baby with.”
“She is not exaggerating, and it’s not just your breath.”
“If you don’t want to make your wife vomit, stop drinking whiskey. YTA.”
“If you won’t stop drinking, move yourself to the guest room while you think about your priorities.” ~ Necessary_Jello_1206
“I’m the same!”
“Pregnant currently 34+5, and I had to stop my partner in his tracks trying to kiss me on a lot of occasions, as his ‘normal’ smell was just too much for me.”
“I did tell him, and that it has nothing to do with him, but just me being pregnant, and he doesn’t mind. He understands.”
“Can’t believe OP can’t not drink the whiskey, and if he insists that’s more important than preventing your wife from vomiting, dehydration is seriously dangerous OP!”
“Then HE should be on the guest bed.”
“OP, YTA!!”
“I suffer from Hyperemesis.”
“And the nausea and vomiting is always there, would never in my scariest dreams imagine a partner who would not try his uttermost best to make sure I don’t vomit or get nauseous during my pregnancy.” ~ Environmental_Base_3
“Allllll of this.”
“OP, YTA definitely.”
“When I was pregnant, I could not handle the smell of yogurt.”
“My husband LOVES yogurt.”
“It got to the point that he couldn’t even throw the container away in the trash can after he was done because I could smell it in the kitchen while I was in the living room and if it was in the trash can when I went to throw something else away all bets were off.”
“To this day I still cannot handle that smell.”
“Luckily, I am not married to someone like you, and he stopped eating yogurt for a while to try to help.”
“That’s what you do for the person that is giving up their body to grow another person inside of them.”
“You giving up your nightly habit is a minuscule price to pay in comparison to what she is doing.” ~ Odd-Bit1837
Well OP, Reddit has some issues with your decisions.
It may be time to do some deep thinking.
Hopefully, you all can overcome this and get to a healthier place soon.
Good luck.