Planning a party menu can be tricky.
Oftentimes, there is too much food or not enough.
A middle ground is rare when it comes to party treats.
Trying to be precise can be impossible.
Some people seem to take issue with this.
Redditor u/doxydecahedron found herself in a dilemma regarding her friend's pre-wedding party, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
She asked:
"AITAH for not having enough vegetarian food at a party?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I'm a bridesmaid in my friend Gina's wedding, and she asked me to host a get-together at my place since it was the most central location for all the bridesmaids (8 people total) to get together for the first time and start planning events."
"G took care of most of the party planning, but I offered to get pizza for everyone; Gina asked me to make sure I got one vegetarian pizza for her sister Maggie, as she does not eat meat."
"I did so, and when the pizza arrived, I made sure to announce that the one vegetarian pizza was meant for Gina's sister and told her which pizza was hers."
"After a while, I noticed that despite my announcement, people had been taking slices of the vegetarian pizza and there were only two slices left, while Maggie was occupied and hadn't had any yet."
"I went up to Maggie and reminded her the pizza was there, but she brushed me off, saying she'd get some later."
"After that, I went and closed up that pizza box and put it to the side to make sure Maggie would still have enough to eat."
"There were still other pizzas on the table available for everyone else."
"Another hour passed, and I noticed another girl, Bea, was eating one of the remaining slices of the vegetarian pizza."
"Shocked, I asked her if she was vegetarian, and she said no, but said she had tried all of the pizzas earlier, and that one tasted the best, so she was having another slice."
"I told her that was supposed to be for Maggie, but she shrugged and said there was still one left for her."
"Later, Maggie finally went to eat her pizza and, seeing that there was only one slice left, complained there wasn't enough for her to eat."
"Gina commented to me later that she thought I'd get enough for everyone."
"There were still other pizzas left on the table; mind you, I didn't expect other people to be eating the vegetarian pizza when it was made clear that was the only pizza Maggie could eat, and there were still other slices there that everyone else could have."
"Gina only specified to me to order one vegetarian pizza, so that's what I did."
"But I still feel bad that Maggie didn't end up having enough to eat."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITAH?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"You are NTA, but since you announced that the veggie pizza was for Maggie, everyone else who ate any of it were A-holes." ~ LdiJ46
"NTA, but I've been vegetarian for over 20 years, and this happens a lot."
"I genuinely don't know why."
"I think this just happens."
"I think it's not even a conscious thing; it's just thoughtless."
"Just bear in mind for the future to always get more vegetarian options than you have vegetarians." ~ KmjbsiR
"As a vegetarian, I think it makes sense with pizza specifically."
"Like, the default pizza is sauce and cheese; you add the meat if you want it."
"But a plain cheese pizza, or margherita, or bianca, or even veggie, isn't really viewed as 'vegetarian' food."
"Lots of people like those pizzas even if they also eat meat, or maybe they don't like pepperoni or whatever."
"This one is actually a bit more in the vegetarian for refusing to take any pizza for herself even after people are going up for thirds." ~ DirectGoose
"Yeah, this feels like a problem with pizza, particularly because most people like Margherita."
"In fact, the boys I know who are terrified of vegetables and love to eat a very traditional diet of meat and beige foods love Margherita pizza! "
"Might also be a problem with things like pasta salad, but if you were doing a BBQ, I doubt everyone would be rushing for the veggie sausages (though they might well eat up all the halloumi to be fair)." ~ Obvious-Register-421
"I can see that, but in this particular case, I feel that the blame is completely on everyone else."
"The bride even specifically said order one vegetarian."
"The host repeatedly checked to remind Maggie to get food, even went as far as to make sure the vegetarian pizza slices was saved for Maggie, though in hindsight, me personally,"
"I would have plated the pizza and put it next to Maggie." ~ Hyperwind5
"This. Literally everyone else."
"Maggie didn’t ask for veg pizza."
"Bride said ONE pizza."
"Everyone else, at a SMALL party - it’s not like they couldn’t have a bit of awareness - not stopping when asked, Maggie AGAIN for not heeding the warning."
"Like, yeah, good advice to OP, order more veggie options in the future!"
"But it’s not like this was a 20-person group that she was even supposed to plan food for, or at lunch or dinner time, or where no one else could also pay attention and talk to Maggie before they ate the rest of the veg pizza? Definitely NTA." ~ TheResponsibleOne
"Agreed NTA."
"There were only 8 people here, and no one understood the assignment?"
"Granted, from what OP wrote, it was well over an hour before Maggie went in for a slice of ambient temperature pizza."
"Not hard for folks to presume Maggie had already taken what she wanted. "
"I'd still have asked first though." ~ Limp_Ice_3248
"I’m vegetarian."
"This exact scenario happens quite often; people ask for pepperoni/meat pizza and still always eat the cheese pizza meant for the ones that do not eat meat."
"Always!"
"That’s why when the pizzas arrive I always take my 2 or 3 slices as soon as possible, so that I won’t be left with nothing."
"You are NTA; Bea and Maggie are, though." ~ Nekawaii19
"100% accurate."
"I’ve discussed this with other vegetarians too, and as far as I can tell, it appears to be an immutable law of physics that the only vegetarian option will be consumed first no matter how many vegetarians are present." ~ SwantimeLM
"This is not your fault."
"You did as you were told and got one veggie pizza as requested."
"You even went the extra steps of saying it was for Maggie, putting it aside, and even trying to get Maggie to eat before it was gone."
"The AH’s here are the ones who ate the veggie pizza even though they were told it was for the vegetarian - especially Bea, who ate the second-to-last slice after it was set aside - who thinks ONE slice is enough?"
"Clearly Bea had at least 3 if she made a comparison! And Maggie is the other AH, who you tried to get to eat before it was gone."
"Also, Gina and Maggie should be pissed at Bea and the others, not you."
"But now you know if this ever happens again, it’s a good idea to order two."
"Everyone loves margherita pizza! NTA." ~ MarionberryOk2874
"NTA. As a person who has dietary restrictions, I know to either take care of food myself, or make sure I clearly set some aside for me."
"Maggie did neither of those things." ~ Allergison
OP came back to chat...
"Wow, I didn't expect this post to get so many responses."
"More info below..."
The party was an afternoon gathering (2- 4 pm), and initially I wasn't even expected to provide food. Gina had asked if I could book my condo's party room for us to use solely because of the location convenience and never said anything to me about food other than saying she would bring some chips and other snacks for us."
"I offered to get the pizzas when she asked me about using my place, as I assumed the group would want something more to munch on, and I felt like providing something more substantial was simply the polite thing to do as the location host."
"Before I ordered the pizzas, I asked the group what everyone wanted, and everyone said they didn't care."
"This is also when Gina asked me to make sure I got one vegetarian option; Maggie didn't even say anything."
"I also brought down a pineapple and cut up other fruits for everyone, along with providing drinks."
"For the pizzas, I simply chose the 4 most popular options that were listed at the top of the app (one of which was the veggie option, which was cheese with vodka sauce and pesto) since everyone said they didn't care."
"They were large size with 8 slices each, so 32 slices total."
"I assumed everyone would have 2-3 slices each, so I thought that would be enough for the vegetarian girl to have, along with a few others to try a slice if they wanted."
"Yes, this is my first time ordering pizza for a group, and I honestly have never noticed that the veggie/cheese options were popular at other pizza gatherings I've been to."
"I had always seen those ones being left over and unwanted, so I figured one was enough."
"To everyone saying I am TA, I am sorry, and I will order more veggie options next time."
Most of Reddit is with you, OP.
You're not a mind reader.
It sounds like the ladies weren't even listening to you.
Hopefully, everyone can move on from this quickly.
It was just a pizza party.
