Redditor Throrawayacc admits he is an “idiot.”
During a game of “Among Us” – an online social deduction game – the Original Poster (OP) revealed confidential information to the other players and may have consequently ruined a friendship.
The OP visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) and asked strangers on the internet:
“AITA for outing my gay friend while playing ‘Among Us’ to his intolerant Christian foster family?”
“Happened last week but I can’t stop thinking about it. I play Among Us with my mates, we’re all adults so it’s quite tricky to find a time we’re all available.”
“My friend (James) is gay and has been out to his friends and biological family for many years now. He was in foster care when he was quite young with very devote christians, but they were kind to him and he met his ‘foster sister’ (Mary) there. I didn’t know the name of his foster sister until this incident.”
“Mary is close in age to James and decided to join our game of Among Us. I thought she was just a friend of James, I didn’t know she was his foster sister.”
“James name in the game was ‘Lord’ which I found strange because it’s usually ‘GayLord.’ I checked who was in the call to make sure we all knew he was gay before saying ‘Why is your name Lord and not GayLord like usual?'”
“I was laughing as gaylords an inside joke and found it strange. Yes I’m idiot, I should have taken his change of name as something more serious.”
“Anyway, the server goes quiet and James frantically texts me ‘NO! Mary and my foster family don’t know! You know that already, they’re christians who are against that kind of thing!’”
“I do know his foster family are against that kind of thing, I didn’t realise Mary was a part of their family at the time. We had a few more games, Mary was really quiet and left pretty quickly, James was making an effort to not talk to me. We eventually logged off and I’ve been getting the silent treatment since.”
“His foster family definitely knows now, and they’re probably going to treat him much differently now. I feel so horrible and I’m not sure what to do, I feel like I’ve severely hurt our friendship. His foster family means a lot to him.”
“AITA for outing my gay friend to his intolerant Christian family?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors assured him his gaffe was completely innocent.
“NAH, you didn’t do that on purpose, he could have told you before that she didn’t know, you asked because you were curious.” – Bojahdok
“And since you guys are all young even if his name was always Lord and not gaylord, it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that someone would make the joke of him being a gaylord instead.”
“NAH between you and James, but he should have let you all know ahead of time to avoid this. You’d have no way of knowing.” – angelmr2
“Yeah he could havee played it off so easily. Just respond back with LOL a**hole while still texting OP to ixnay the gay talk. And if Mary or his family asked just say his friend was just being a d*ck.” – RetroPRO
“If he’s been out to his friends and bio-family this entire time, then it’s on him to mention, ‘Hey, Mary is unaware that I’m gay. Please avoid the topic’ before she joins the server.”
“I get that he was living a double life, but that was an absolute minefield you were expected to navigate in the dark. There are a ton of minor gay related topics you might have accidentally brought up, regardless of the subtraction of the word ‘Gay’ from his usual character name.”
“That aside, if these people raised him and can’t accept him because he’s gay, then screw them. It’s far too exausting to pretend to be something you’re not.”
“He needs to surround himself with people who love him, not people who only love him if he meets their specific expectations.” – Broken_musicbox
“NAH. He didn’t intend to do something harmful to his friend, but he did. Apologizing is the first thing, next is asking what he can do to help and being there for his friend in the aftermath.” – TogarSucks
“NTA. Coming from a bisexual chick, this is something he should’ve texted you about beforehand.”
“Since he’s gay, and you all have inside jokes about it, you’re obviously gonna question why it’s not happening. He can’t expect you to magically know that Mary is his homophobic foster sister that doesn’t know he’s gay.”
“You thought Mary was his friend, and he didn’t tell you any different; And he’s out to all of his friends. It was pretty reasonable of you to think nothing of it.”
“If he didn’t want this to happen, he should have said something, period.” – ChickNamedVenus
“NAH because it was an accident.”
“But the reality is that you did some real damage, accidentally. You may have caused him being treated with less love, at minimum, and him becoming homeless, at worst.”
“So what can you do? Not much. If he wants space, gift it to him with grace and understanding (no picking sides!). If he wants to pretend it never happened, follow his lead. Just watch and listen, as much as you can, for signs he starts being abused (just in case).” – Midwest_Paige_Turner
“Hindsight is 20/20 but you can’t expect everyone to be master sleuths, he could have made it clearer by sending a quick text saying that.”
“You’re not a magical mind reader after all. NTA” – LeviaCain
“You checked the call, saw a name you didn’t recognize, and then divulged something you knew was private because you assumed the stranger was just another friend.”
“James absolutely should have clued you in. Punishing you over something he expected without outright telling you his expectations makes you NTA.”
“However, I can’t get over that you specifically checked to confirm everyone knew, saw someone you weren’t sure about, and made the joke anyway. A hard lesson about asking, privately, when in doubt about discussing sensitive information.” – EmpressJainaSolo
Although the situation could have been avoided with a simple text beforehand, Redditors strongly encouraged the OP to apologize to James.