Bringing loved ones to a work function doesn’t always go over well.
Not all worlds are meant to collide.
Of course, everyone does hope that a plus will be on their best behavior.
But that is not always the case.
And once personal drama spills into work-life… that can be hard to recover from.
Redditor Just-War-115 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to take my girlfriend home from a party after she embarrassed herself?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“A coworker invited me to a housewarming party.”
“He bought a really nice house with a large yard, a pool, and even a waterfall flowing into the pool.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily friends with him but we’re friendly and make small talk when we see each other, but we don’t really hang out by ourselves.”
“He’s a nice guy but we don’t have too many interests.”
“He told me I could bring my G[irl]F[riend].”
“At that party, I knew about 3 out of the 40 people there.”
“At the party, my girlfriend began complaining to me about the food options saying they don’t follow her diet, she can’t eat them, the host should have gotten better food, the paintings on the wall are tacky, his furniture sucks, that the music is pretty lame and a bunch of other ridiculous complaints.”
“We live in São Paulo at the moment but we’re from a region in Southern Brazil where most people speak Hunsrik, which is a type of German.”
“Though it is a bit distinct from standard German, someone from Germany wouldn’t understand everything I say.”
“She complained in Hunsrik, assuming that everyone at the party only knew Portuguese but my coworker was near us and he said what I guess is standard German ‘I’m sorry we don’t have any food that fits your dietary restrictions, if you are hungry there is a store about 400 meters from here, it closes in an hour. I’m sorry you don’t appreciate the music selection would you like to play something?'”
“My girlfriend looked shocked, her jaw dropped and she just stuttered for a bit.”
“A few people snickered in the back and another guy translated what happened and she responded back in Portuguese ‘How do you all know German? I had no idea.'”
“And my coworker explains he and 3 other people in this party used to work in Germany and that’s how they know each other.”
“My girlfriend pulled me aside and said she’s so embarrassed and wants to go home.”
“I told her no, I’m having a good time here and she’s begging me to bring her back saying she’s so embarrassed and she can’t handle this.”
“So I told her she shouldn’t talk s**t about people and she’s getting what she deserved.”
“This broke out into a screaming match.”
“She demanded I give her the car keys and I refused.”
“We stayed at the party for another 2-3 hours, she talked to some other girls but was kind of quiet.”
“On the ride home, we got into another argument where she said I should have taken her side and I unleashed a lot of my frustration onto her saying she was actually the one causing me embarrassment by insulting my coworker.”
“She blamed me for not telling her he speaks German.”
“I told her that wasn’t relevant and I never thought to bring it up.”
“(I honestly didn’t know he spoke it that well, he just briefly mentioned living in Germany once at a meeting).”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. At the end of the day, she did play a stupid game and won a befittingly stupid prize.”
“At least it’s just embarrassment, from the context provided it doesn’t seem like anyone else made a big deal about the things she said.”
“I don’t think you should be obligated to take her side being that she was the cause of the embarrassing moment.”
“Also saying rude things expecting nobody to be able to understand her makes her the AH in my opinion.” ~ Zesty_Mayo4570
“The girlfriend sounds like a chore to be around.”
“But sometimes nice people may make bad decisions when circumstances push them, she may have been exhausted or something.”
“But judging by the fact that she wasn’t remorseful, it seals the deal.”
“OP needs to think hard about whether this is what he wants in a relationship.” ~ niaatthebeach
“Exactly!! She just made it so much worse for herself and potentially embarrassed OP since he brought her there.”
“if she just apologized for it everything would’ve been fine and they could laugh it off with a few drinks or something.”
“But no she wants to scream and argue about something SHE did wrong and that’s just sad as I feel bad for OP for having to deal with someone like that.”
“No humbleness whatsoever.” ~ DemonSaine
“The remorse is a big one.”
“Every last one of us has put our foot in our mouth, said something heinous, let our emotions get the better of us, etc.”
“She was uncomfortable and probably anxious and crabby from hunger.”
“Does this excuse her? No.”
“But it does explain her.”
“Personally she sounds awful but I’ve only heard this one thing about her.”
“Maybe it was out of character.”
“It’s potentially forgivable, but that’s strongly dependent on her showing remorse and understanding.”
“If she doubles down, you’re in for a life of trouble with someone like this.”
“Ask me how I know.” ~ Apprehensive-Pair436
“Yess, OP has caught himself a winner there. 😂”
“Look we’ve all been to parties that aren’t to our taste, be it music, the vibe, or the weird outfit so and so as decided on.”
“You ensure no one but the intended audience is in earshot to hear any comments you may make (hopefully not to the level of rude as this girlfriend) even in another language in case some understands.”
“But the bit that really gets me is her complaining about her dietary requirements not being met – like what level of catering was she expecting here?”
“Not like they reached out for requirements.”
“If it’s a medically needed diet – bring your own stuff if you have to eat (but not hard to eat beforehand) and if it’s a preference choice then babe no one gives an F.” ~ Busy-Persimmon-748
“You’re NTA.”
“Your girlfriend is incredibly rude and hopefully taught herself an important lesson about talking smack and insulting her host… or anyone else, for that matter.”
“Better think about that little glimpse into your future if you choose to stay with that woman.” ~ Dittoheadforever
“Yes, honestly break up with her.”
“It’s not just embarrassing herself, it is embarrassing you in front of your colleagues, people that are part of your career and livelihood.”
“She seems like a miserable person and someone that can’t be made happy, but also can’t bear being polite for the entirety of a party, all while being extremely judgmental.”
“She showed her true colors.” ~ catdogmumma
“NTA. Your girlfriend was a guest at someone’s homewarming party and complained about the food, the furnishings, and the music.”
“She assumed people couldn’t understand her and she was wrong.”
“If she was embarrassed, it’s her own fault for being rude and ungracious.” ~ Peony-Pony
“Sure, OP’s girl is the main a**hole here but if it was my so, I would immediately take her home because she is mortified and I wouldn’t want her to be embarrassed.”
“OP just kinda left her hanging with her a** out for the whole party to see… lol.”
“Kinda makes me wonder if OP even likes his girl.” ~ MovieTrawler
“NTA, your GF is pretty horrible to make a comment like that in another language thinking no one understood her.”
“It sounds like she was rightfully embarrassed because OH MY GOD who does that?”
“It was a party with your co-workers, she could have jeopardized your jobs because she is a dumb B.”
“I would seriously rethink if this is the type of person you want in your life long term.”
“I know I would not.”
“There was no reason for you to leave and really you needed to stay these are your co-workers.”
“I would have called her a cab and let her leave because it had to be humiliating staying – but it was a humiliation that she caused herself because she has no manners.” ~ REDDIT
“NTA. From any angle, your girlfriend was rude.”
“She was critical.”
“If she has dietary restrictions, it is rude to expect the world to accommodate them unless a host specifically asks or there’s a life-threatening consequence of even being in the same room as some ingredient – she should make sure that she has something with her that she can eat.”
“It is rude to carry on a conversation in a language that you don’t believe others in whose company one is speaking that language.”
“That’s the same as whispering in someone’s ear, leaving others to wonder if they’re being talked about.” ~ felice60
“You’re Both TA.”
“She is for being so rude and you are for forcing both your girlfriend and the other guests into an awkward situation for 3 hours.”
“The only person having a good time at that point was you.”
“Even though your girlfriend was rude if you actually care about her you wouldn’t keep her in such an awful situation.”
“If you care about your friends you would leave so as not to ruin his party.”
“You did neither.” ~ bakochba
“NTA. Your girlfriend is rude and uncaring of people’s feelings.”
“She needs to apologize to your host as she has put you in a really unpleasant position with a friendly and generous colleague.” ~ Time-Tie-231
“NTA. How rude to be a guest at someone’s house and complain about the food, the furnishings, the music!”
“I hope this doesn’t have any repercussions for you at your workplace.” ~ TemptingPenguin369
Well, OP, sounds like most of Reddit is with you.
Your girlfriend was rude.
And then she escalated the situation.
You could’ve taken her home and gone back.
But you didn’t cause the issues.
Good luck at work and with her.