Most of us are always willing to do our friends a favor. But for a dressmaker on Reddit, her friend’s request that she make a dress for his girlfriend went way over the line–for starters, because his girlfriend hates her.
She wasn’t sure how she handled the conflict, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for input.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by ireallycantrn on the site, asked:
“AITA for not making a dress for my friend’s girlfriend?”
She explained:
“I met one of my best friends when I was a Freshmen in college. There has never been anything remotely romantic between us, for context.”
“His girlfriend has no problem with his other female friends. It’s just me. She’s bluntly said she just doesn’t like my face or voice.”
“Anyways, today he asked me to make her a dress that I’m making for a client rn. I explained that the materials are expensive, I don’t know how long it would take since I have this big order, and I’m working on a personal project. I said maybe in the Fall.”
“I’ve made him, my friends and their SOs many things over the years, however materials alone could cost me over $80.”
“She cried to our mutual friends that I’m not doing it because I don’t like her. Now I’m the bad guy since she’s the only SO that hasn’t gotten anything from me. I explained that this dress could take me weeks, I couldn’t afford to give a gift like that rn, and I don’t have the time.”
“Now she’s offering to pay me $50 on a $150+ dress, and I said I’d never make her anything if she didn’t pay full price after lying about me. I’m in the doghouse with my friends because of it. It’s making me second guess myself. AITA?”
OP came back later to add more context.
“Edit: She is EXTREMELY entitled and selfish. My friend has almost dumped her twice because she went off on me for negging him and calling him ugly on IG (which he does to me all the time. It’s all in good fun) and because when he asked what he should wear to their 2nd anniversary dinner, he picked my suggestion over another friend’s, and she accused me of wanting to bang him.”
“She’s backed out on double dates when I tried to be nice to her. She’s called me a bad influence but won’t say why (I’m not. I’m the “mom friend”). She’s left his parties early because I’m there and she doesn’t want to be around me, spoiling the whole thing for him.”
“She’s just mean. Like I feel like she must have been the stereotypical mean girl in high school. It’s just directed at me though, so I must be the problem, according to her friends”
“Edit 2: We’re all 23-26. So I mean we’re young but I thought we’d all outgrown high school”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who is in the wrong in this conflict based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Unsurprisingly, they were firmly Team OP on this one.
“NTA. Op, are you serious? You shouldn’t be making her a dress, period. You’re really going to let her and your other friends treat you like shit, and then turn around and do things for them? Of course you’re not the AH, but you’re definitely being an AH to yourself for having 0 boundaries and letting people treat you like this.” —partyysnacks
“My guess here is that OP is pretty young. I only was able to stand up for myself as I got older, but I regret not learning that skill sooner and letting people walk all over me.”
“OP, PLEASE don’t make that dress for this awful person, she will only respect you even less. And the friends who think you are TA for not doing it are not your friends. And mean girls tend to pick on one person in the group (usually the quiet or vulnerable seeming one), so I highly doubt it’s your fault that she is being nasty to you.” —Reasonable_Newspaper
“NTA. She’s sounds extremely entitled. She’s doesn’t get to treat you like crap and then expect things from you.”
“Take some time from the friendship and evaluate if these relationships are worth having, since none of your friends have your back. I am assuming they know how horrible she’s been treating you.”
“And secondly, you literally don’t have the time as you are busy working on something for a client. The nerve of this girl.”
“Stick to your guns.” —Arrmuss
“NTA She doesn’t like your face/voice and you’re the bad guy? So she hates you. You have a actual paying client but you are expected to drop everything for her? She and your “friends” sound like entitled a**holes.”
“JFC. Have you considered getting new friends? How old are you guys? This is some high school behavior bs. You are not the a**hole here but you know that. Your true friends should know that.” —Beautiful_Mistakes
“NTA”
“She knew you wouldn’t do it and tries to alienate you from your friends. Even is she wasn’t rude to you- you don’t own anyone anything.” —Lively_Sally
After reading her fellow Redditors’ responses, OP came back to add even more information.
“Edit 3: Just because people keep asking, it’s a crocheted Princess Daisy ball gown. She’d have to buy the part that goes under and makes it cupcake-y (I can’t think of what’s that called rn) but she wants the overdress, crown and gloves for free.”
“I’m making one for me and for a client. It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done and $150 is me being nice since I like cosplaying and helping the community since Ik it gets expensive”
“Edit 4: A petticoat! She’d have to buy a petticoat to go under it, but essentially she wants me to make everything else. First for free, then for $50”
Hopefully OP can learn to set up boundaries and will not have to deal with this person ever again in the future.