Neighbors helping neighbors is wonderful. Having someone close you can rely on gives you peace of mind.
But what if your neighbor’s demands are too much?
A couple are dealing with this issue after agreeing to do a favor for their neighbor. The neighbor wanted to compensate them $20 for a week.
After a conflict over expectations, they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor wilberteinstein asked:
“AITA for telling my neighbor that we won’t ever watch his dogs again?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife and I (mid 20’s) moved into our first home a year or two ago. Almost immediately, we met our next door neighbors Candace (30s) and Jackson (30s).”
“They are married with two children and they have two dogs.”
“These past few days, Candace and Jackson have been on a trip with their two young kids. Before they left, they asked if we would be willing to watch their dogs, walk them, make sure they have food and water.”
“This has happened before and they always offer a few bucks to do it (which I always politely decline, but Jackson tends to insist and just Venmos me so I accept it as to not be rude).”
“So it’s day four or five of watching their dogs. I have a work meeting in the morning from 7-9am, so once it’s over I go over to feed the dogs and make sure they’ve got water and have been let outside.”
“I get busy again, so go back to my house for a few hours to take care of some things.”
“I’m doing some work when I receive the following text from Jackson: ‘Hey, for the future, three things: 1. The dogs are not to be left alone past 8 in the morning 2. Please be sure to walk them at least around the block 2-3 times a day 3. Make sure you’re giving them water more frequently because last time their water was almost empty when we got home Thanks’.”
“He has an outside Ring security system so he can see when I come and go (hence the 8am thing).”
“This guy is expecting me to put in hours of work according to a STRICT schedule for his dogs each day for less than $20 for the whole week.”
“I told him I would oblige for this last day until he arrives home but that I would never be watching his dogs or children (we often babysit) again, mostly because I find his behavior rude (principle of the matter being that he’s rudely expecting too much without even the decency to tell me BEFORE the trip AND the passive aggression).”
“Well, he didn’t take very kindly to my saying that. He’s complained to a lot of different neighbors saying he was ‘compensating’ me for this work and that I’m a lazy/unkind neighbor.”
“Am I the asshole?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. The neighbor is ridiculous and needs to pay for an actual dog sitter for the sake of his dogs.” ~ LuckStrict6000
“NTA. But they would charge an actual fair price for their time. He wanted close to free, convenient labor.”
“Neighbor may have brought up payment to OP, but he didn’t give the particulars, or that the job was basically a part to full time gig.”
“That tells me he expected the pet sitting for cheap. If he was going to pay full price, he would have hired a sitter.” ~ BritAllie8
“Dogs aren’t to be left alone past 8 am, so that’s apparently anywhere from 12-16 hours a day of dogsitting for 5 days.”
“Even if we assumed conservatively that OP spent ‘only’ 40 hours with the dogs (so 8 hours a day), that’s 50 cents per hour. That’s not ‘close to free’, that’s free with an added insult.” ~ snorting_dandelions
“When you leave your dog with someone, even in a different house, it should be a part time job, since that is what its like having a dog. You need to walk it in the morning first thing and at least two more times during the day.”
“They did not communicate enough at the start of arrangments, but neithgbor did f up when he starts talking to him like a servant.” ~ Temporary-Error-6566
“‘When you leave your dog with someone, even in a different house, it should be a part time job, since that is what its like having a dog’.”
“And that job is ‘professional dogsitter’ and they get paid something like $40 per hour instead of $20 per week.” ~ UseHerNom
“Yep and that rate would be $35 a day. Wait til he starts asking the neighbor teens to do it for $20 a week 😂, they get that for an hour of babysitting. NTA.” ~ FiestyMum
“When I dog sit, I go over two to three times a day to let the dogs out for like half an hour, feed them and make sure they get water and I make a couple hundred bucks.”
“Yeah. They need to hire actual sitters or just board them.” ~ AluminumCansAndYarn
“Absolutely. I’ve asked my sister to look after our three cats when we go away for a week. I’ve asked her to go twice a day and feed them and do the three litter trays each time, and let them out for a run in the garden.”
“I’ll be paying her £300-£350 for the week. She’d do it for free, but I would never ask that.”
“It’s important to me that they keep their routine and I’m happy to pay for the privilege. If she did it for free I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking for certain conditions to be met that I know not everyone thinks is necessary (litter trays cleaned twice daily etc).”
“You can’t have it both ways!” ~ TipsyMagpie
“I wonder if the neighbors he complained to know that the compensation was just 20$ for one week dogsitting of several dogs?”
“Maybe OP should share this part of the story with his neighbors. NTA.” ~ Acceptable-Abalone20
“NTA, not even slightly. Even if you were fairly compensated (you were not), you are now no longer willing to do that job.”
“Did they think you were somehow locked in for life?”
“Neighbors need to find and pay someone to do that if they want a professional job done.” ~Â BlackSmokeDMax
“NTA. Let those he laments to take care of his dogs, if they think he’s so reasonable.”
“Or better yet, he can hire a pet sitter, and learn very quickly how ‘reasonable’ his compensation truly is.” ~ DelightfulAbsurdity
“Yep someone who cares about his complaints can go dog sit for him and see how reasonable he is.”
“$20 a week to walk animals 3x a day for a week? No thank you sir.” ~ Murakami_Ysera
“NTA You have a life too. You have to schedule things around your work.”
“He should have clarified what exactly he needed you to do before he left. If he wanted things done exactly he can pay a pet sitter in the future.”
“You cannot leave your work because of him unless you bill him for the time that staying and babysitting his pets would take from your job. Which would be a lot more than the sum he offers you in recompense.” ~ AryaEverheart
“NTA, merely because of your neighbor’s delivery. If he had sent a nice text asking, because he cares about his dogs and was nervous, then sure that’s fine.”
“But the tone in which he asked was indeed passive-aggressive, and not the best way to talk to someone who is already doing them a favor, and it sounds like OP has done quite a few favors before for them.”
“I would be irritated too if the way OP put it was exactly how the neighbor texted them.” ~ michaellscarnnn
“If he actually cared about his dogs, he would hire someone to stay with them, and pay that person adequately for their time and attention.”
“True pet-lovers don’t leave dogs on their own for 5 days with nothing more than a drop-by caretaker.”
“Cats, perhaps (if the cats aren’t vindictive). Never dogs. NTA.” ~ mouse_attack
Ultimately it is up to the OP if they want to continue doing favors for their neighbors.
It sounds like it’s best for everyone if these neighbors make other arrangements in the future.