Sometimes family doesn’t make loyalty easy.
Just because people share DNA doesn’t mean we all owe one another anything.
Standing by and allowing loved ones to take advantage can lead to some serious issues.
One of the biggest issues is broken trust.
Case in point…
Redditor foryou12_ wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for telling my wife she shouldn’t attend a family wedding if I’m not invited?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I had a small grant come in the mail for about $3500.”
“I had never received it and became confused about where the check was at.”
“The college finance department told me it was cashed back in April, and the name of the bank.”
“Some time passed, and I ended up finding out my sister had written down my social security number on the back of the check, forged my signature, and told the banker I allowed her to cash the check, never needed to provide an ID either.”
“The banker allowed it, and my sister never said a word.”
“She was arrested recently, so now my mom and grandma are saying she will be in serious trouble if I don’t drop the charges and that I shouldn’t do that to my sister.”
“Would I be an a**hole if I charged her and made her go to prison?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP would NOT be the A**hole.
“NTA. Your sister shouldn’t have stolen if she wasn’t willing to go to jail for it.”
“You should have the option to file a case against the bank as well, by the way – they almost certainly violated financial laws to cash that check for her.”
“You may be able to get them to replace the money because of that, which will doubtless be faster than getting restitution from your sister.” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“This. I’ll never understand how people can simply walk into a bank and cash in a check that doesn’t have their name on it.”
“The bank is responsible for checking the identity of the person.”
“And if they didn’t, they should pay the victim.”
“But the sister definitely deserves to go to prison.”
“Stealing is wrong, but stealing from family is just vile.” ~ Helpful_Hour1984
“Sounds like the sister has a friend at the bank… take them all down and sue your sister and the bank for gross negligence.”
“BURN IT TO THE GROUND!!! LOL!!”
“But seriously, get the money back off your sister and leave it. Prison changes people, and you don’t want a fellow with a grudge out in 10 to 20 years hunting you down.” ~ bromano5000
“If your sister, TA, can steal from her own sibling, what will she do to anybody else should the chance ever present itself?”
“She has to learn about the implications of her actions, which could benefit her in the long run.” ~ GrabDramatic5822
“I use to work as a teller at a credit union, and we absolutely could not cash a check that was not made out to the person (third party checks). The only exception would be if it was a joint account (i.e. husband and wife, but we’d have to deposit the check then take the amount out for a paper trail).”
“I can’t believe the bank did this, especially since it wasn’t even ‘signed over’ to the sister. I can’t believe that wasn’t a red flag.”
“Institution should be held responsible for this as well.” ~ Defiant_McPiper
“I currently work as a bank teller.”
“At my bank, you’re charged a check cashing fee if you’re not a customer.”
“If they say yes, we’re customers. We need an ID or debit card to look up their profile.”
“If they say no, then we move to the check cashing program on the computer without their profile.”
“No matter the amount of the check, it requires you to fill out the ID section of the page.”
“You literally cannot skip this.”
“Even for known customers.”
“You need to physically see either a license/ID or passport.”
“You have to enter info on this page, or you cannot finish the transaction at all.” ~ whatasmallbird
“It’s worth noting that dropping the charges is now out of OP’s hands.”
“They can refuse to cooperate as the victim, but the local district attorney is the one who will decide whether or bit to move forward with a criminal case. NTA.” ~ CapraAegagrusHircus
“But once the Bank gives her the cash, it’s going to become even a bigger matter, and the bank will not let her sister leave in peace for a while and she’ll be rotting in jail for a good time.”
“Now it’s OP’s call what she wants for her mental peace, which she won’t be getting from the family.” ~ sushigotpu**y
“And can we also talk about, why/ how did your sister have your social?”
“She has everything she needs for identity theft.”
“I would double-check your credit and make sure she hasn’t been applying for credit cards in your name or anything.”
“I would also make sure she didn’t get a hand on any of your grandma’s info.”
“She’s shown she’s willing to steal from the people closest to her, so exploiting their info isn’t a stretch.” ~ CoffeeandDrPepper
“NTA. Your sister is making herself go to jail.”
“You deserve a fair start to life.”
“You earned that grant.”
“She needs to learn about consequences.” ~ oldclam
“NTA. You aren’t making her go to prison.”
“Her decision to commit a felony is why she deserves to go to prison.” ~ JazzyKnowsBest13
“Yes, absolutely agree.”
“And before anyone moans about how could OP do that to family, two things…”
“1. It works both ways. How could sis do that to her own sister?”
“OP was the victim and the law is doing its job of protecting the victim and keeping society in working order.”
“2. This is a hard lesson to learn, but sis needs to learn it and learn it early, not later.”
“Mom and Grandma are responding emotionally.”
“Of course nobody wants their children to go to jail.”
“But think about the alternative.”
“Sis literally gets away with theft and fraud.”
“This sets a bad precedent for her in life.”
“Teach her early on that her actions have consequences and she is not above the law and is no exception to this rule.”
“As hard as it is for a parent to acknowledge this, there is no better lesson for a child so far gone that they’ll lie, steal, and commit forgery.”
“Also, if this happened in the United States, which idiot bank allowed someone to cash a check that doesn’t belong to them?”
“Asking so I can never go there.” ~ Practical_Chart798
“She is in serious trouble.”
“She should be in serious trouble.”
“She committed a serious offense.”
“Your mom and grandma are wrong.”
“NTA. I don’t blame you in the least.”
“If my sister stole money from me, I’d report her too.”
“However… this may be one of those instances where being right is not the same as being happy.”
“Not necessarily, but maybe.”
“Only you know whether your mom and grandma will hold this against you forever and whether it will damage your relationship with them.”
“If you think it will, and that is not a consequence you can live with, then you may have to work out something else.”
“If you’re prepared to live with the consequences, whatever they may be, then stand firm.”
“But you came here for a judgment on whether you were wrong to charge your sister, and my verdict is you are most emphatically not wrong. NTA.” ~ ThisWillAgeWell
“This isn’t really an AITA question.”
“The real victim is the grantor, and you probably have a legal obligation to assist them with the prosecution of the case.”
“Reluctance on your part could be construed as complicity.”
“The way you show this was not a scheme cooked up by you and Sister is by you cooperating fully with the prosecution of the case.”
“Otherwise you could be on the hook for the money, or maybe even sitting in jail with Sister.”
“It’s a property crime, and many jurisdictions don’t have money to keep violent offenders in jail, so she may not even go to prison.”
“But I think you need to continue to cooperate and aid in the prosecution. NTA.” ~ grckalck
“NTA. Absolutely press charges.”
“Your sister is a thief and should be held accountable for it.”
“Your mother and grandmother are right…she will be in serious trouble.”
“She should be in serious trouble.”
“There’s a good way to avoid legal trouble and jail; don’t commit crimes.”
“If she gets off with no repercussions, she will just do it again.” ~ subsailor1968
OP came back with some info…
“I didn’t think my post was going to get any more attention than 100 people lol.”
“My sister and I do not get along.”
“We haven’t for a while.”
“A few weeks before this my grandma had a few thousand dollars stolen from her pocket that she had just taken out of her bank account.”
“it might’ve fallen out, or it was snagged from her sweats.”
“She doesn’t believe in bank cards and refuses to use them.”
“So that’s over $6k in one month.”
“My sister stays in a room at my grandma’s crib.”
“SO, who else could it be?”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You are one of your sister’s victims.
You have every right to defend yourself.
And it sounds like you’re trying to protect other family members as well.
Good luck.