Planning the seating arrangements at any dinner or event, no matter how big or small, can be a massive headache.
There are always going to be unhappy people.
It is also aggravating to be forced to sit in uncomfortable positions while trying to have a pleasant dining experience.
Sometimes, everyone loses.
Case in point…
Redditor Economy_Wasabi7361 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not wanting to sit at the kid’s table?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Last weekend I (22 F[emale]) was at a family party at my aunt’s house to celebrate my cousin’s (her son) birthday.”
“It was a nice time as always and when it was time to eat, I got my plate and started heading downstairs where everyone was gathered since the kitchen is upstairs and the family room is down.”
“Anyway, my aunt rushes over and asks me where I’m going.”
“I said downstairs like everyone else and she told me I had to sit at the table so I wouldn’t spill anything or make a mess.”
“I didn’t like this because I’m 22 years old and I know how not to make a mess and also because the only people sitting at the table were my three little cousins who are 13, 10, and 6 years old.”
“I told her again I didn’t have to sit at the table but she stood in front of me and blocked my way downstairs, so I just gave up and sat with my little cousins.”
“Someone told my aunt the cooler was out of water, so she went back in the kitchen to get more.”
“Since she couldn’t see me I decided to go downstairs anyway.”
“About five minutes later she comes downstairs and sees me sitting on the couch eating and demands for me to go back upstairs to eat at the table.”
“I tried to remain respectful but I said I was too old to eat at the kid’s table and I didn’t understand why I was expected to eat with them when my sister (24 F[emale]) didn’t have to.”
“My aunt just huffed and went back upstairs and eventually sat down with her own plate of food.”
“She seemed a little upset about it the rest of the party.”
“In the car on the way home my dad said I should have just sat the kid’s table and listened to my aunt because it was her house.”
“I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to drag the issue out, but I thought it was ridiculous that they were making this such a big deal.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA sounds like she wanted a free babysitter for her kids.” ~ annoymous1996
“It feels so familiar because my family tried to do the same thing to me.”
“Imagine being 16 and sat at a table with a bunch of toddlers while their parents get drunk in the dining room.”
“It stopped after I pointed out that if I was responsible enough for them to leave me in charge of all the kids then I was mature enough to sit with the adults.”
“And if I wasn’t mature enough to sit with the adults, then I wasn’t responsible enough to be left in charge of the kids.”
“A couple of the adults got pissy over it but for once my dad backed me up and said if they wanted me to be in charge of the kids, they needed to pay me.”
“No money, no babysitting.” ~ flyin_high_flyin_bi
“I was in charge of the little ones from the time I was about 10.”
“It lasted until I was in college.”
“One Thanksgiving, the kids were particularly awful.”
“I asked my aunt and mom why my brother (17 year old) couldn’t take over.”
“Well, apparently boys don’t have to do that.”
“So when they got distracted I drafted my brother and cousin to watch the kids ‘for a minute.'”
“Then I went out to my aunt and uncle’s trailer and drank and played Cribbage with another cousin.”
“When the inevitable yelling started, I told them it was clear I had become too irresponsible to be in charge on the kids and it should fall to the next person on the list, regardless of gender.”
“Or I could just keep getting drunk at family events and share with the littles my Adult Language Lessons for Little Kids.”
‘”They finally left me alone.” ~ PomegranateReal3620
“Man, I was a babysitter when I was 12!”
“It’s surprising to me that kids that are that age (especially 13 would need someone to watch them.”
“NTA, OP. You’re 22 and an adult.”
“You should be allowed to sit with the other adults.”
“As an aside, I think that the kids at those ages should be allowed to sit at a regular table anyways.”
“They’re not toddlers!”
“6 is young, but I guess I must’ve been a very mature kid for my age because I was able to sit and behave at a regular table by that age.”
“I’m not for kid’s tables anyways, unless it is for a very good reason.”
“I’ve never had that in any of my family households and I’m grateful.”
“I learned decent table manners that way.” ~ flappergirl35
“Next time this happens, though, just eat quickly in the kitchen or step outside to eat on the porch or patio.”
“Or just set your plate down and declare that you’re not hungry any more.”
“As soon as you can get rid of your plate, go back to whatever else you were doing.”
“If this is about anything other than food, she will be forced to be more direct and ask you to babysit (which you are welcome to decline).” ~ asecretnarwhal
“Yup. No free babysitters here. NTA.”
“I would have taken a stronger stance though. “
“When she blocked OP from going down stairs, OP should have given her the plate, walked out of the house, and gotten an Uber.”
“You can respect her house, but not tolerate her bulls**t at the same time.”
“Refuse future invites and she’ll understand what an AH she was being.” ~ MadScientistCoder
“NTA this is literally insane to me.”
“You’re 22 and she’s worried you’re gonna make a mess bruhhhhh.”
“If you make a mess you’re old enough to clean up and be responsible.”
“Your aunt sounds like she’s projecting something onto you or she’s just crazy.” ~ leigh_walaszczyk
“NTA Where was the rest of your family during this? Nobody stood up for you? It’s weird.”
“Even assuming the 13 year old was not capable of properly eating food without spilling is weird.”
“Maybe the 13 year old was watching the little ones?”
“There was some ulterior something happening with your Aunt and I’d want to know what the heck that was about.” ~ blueberryxxoo
“NTA you did the right thing.”
“Just because it’s ‘her house’ doesn’t mean that your aunt have a right to be obnoxious and treat a fully grown adult like a child.”
“Yes, she is older and it’s her house, but asking you to sit at the kids table is disrespectful and out of touch.”
“You could have squiggled your way out with a passive aggressive joke like ‘auntie my friends are getting married by now and have kids, I bet I can handle a plate of food pretty well and a soapy towel if I happen to spill, ahahaha.'”
“To be honest, if it was me, I would just storm out of the house with any excuse and come back by the time we are leaving.”
“That would be still valid because I am being disrespected and insulted and I don’t have the temper to handle such situations.” ~ nihil_66
“NTA but this reminds me of a recent Thanksgiving.”
“For space reasons there were two tables.”
“One of which was for the younger generation (we are all in our 20s and 30s).”
“There were jokes about the ‘kid’s table’ but nothing cruel or anything.”
“But it was totally the ‘adult’ table where all the drama occurred and people started arguing over events that happened decades ago.”
“I was so happy to be at the ‘kid’s’ table.” ~ Maria_Dragon
“I’m in a similar boat, depending on who’s hosting, how much seating.”
“And how many guests there are, my family often has a ‘kids table’ that’s usually made up of my sister, myself, some cousins and such, and our significant others.”
“We’re all pretty well into our 20s or 30s at this point.”
“But that has more to do with needing to divide up seats somehow than any concern that we’re going to make a mess.”
“If anything we’re probably neater and better behaved than the old folks these days.” ~ fondots
“NTA. This actually happened to a friend of mine.”
“She was placed at the ‘Kids Table’ while she was in her early 20’s.”
“So she just pretended to be in a cocktail bar and told her middle school cousin’s about the sexual relationship issues her friends were having.”
“Whether motorboating or steamboating actually was a thing.”
“When the cousins went home with their parents, they had a lot to say about everything they learned about life at the Kid’s Table.” ~ Aggravating_Net6733
“NTA, unless you are frequently spilling things or are a messy eater, there’s no reason for you to have to eat with the kids.” ~ PaintedJay
Well in Reddit’s eyes it looks like OP should feel ok with her decision.
And maybe Auntie should consider a paid sitter.
Family can be so dramatic.