Spoiler alert to parents… not everybody likes kids.
That is a truth that seems to be highly controversial.
It feels like every person on planet Earth is meant to love children.
Love having them. Holding them. Thinking about them.
But that is not the case for many.
Case in point…
Redditor Squirtle6412 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for not wanting to hold my nephew?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“After a very tough pregnancy, my (25 F[emale]) sister gave birth to my nephew.”
“He was premature by over 8 weeks but recently came home healthy.”
“We live together with my parents while we finish college/grad school.”
“I (24 M[ale]) have always had a pretty strong aversion to kids, even when I was one.”
“I’m told I avoided my newborn cousin when I was 4.”
“Anyways, I don’t like kids.”
“My sister obviously has the kid at dinner/when my family sits together, and sometimes pushes a stroller behind me when I walk the family dogs.”
“This is all fine, but she keeps trying to get me to hold him, tickle him, etc.”
“And I really don’t feel comfortable about it.”
“She even recently put him next to me in my bed while I was sleeping and was taking pictures of it.”
“I tried to tell her I really don’t want to be touching the kid and that I just get very peeved out about it.”
“She got pissed, told my parents, and my mom told me I had to go to a psychiatrist to talk about it because ‘Not wanting to touch or be around your nephew is unhealthy.'”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for this?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Your mother is foolish to suggest that you need therapy because you have different views regarding children.”
“Forget the haters. Not everyone cares about babies. NTA.” ~ HeirOfRavenclaw
“Also… just because you don’t want to hold someone else’s baby doesn’t mean you don’t like kids.”
“I think I want to have a kid someday, but I really don’t like or want to hold other people’s babies.”
“They’re just too delicate, and I don’t think they’re super neat or something.”
“I don’t have that ‘bone’ in my body.”
“I’m sure I would love my own kid, but I don’t need to hold someone else’s baby who is just gonna lay there and maybe cry.”
“I don’t want to risk dropping it or whatever.”
“It’s also awkward, like what do I do now… I never how what to say to the baby or parents.”
“’Like… hello baby.’”
“’Congrats, your clone is very impressive.’”
“Like I don’t care.”
“I don’t get joy out of it.”
“I don’t think babies are really cute either… they can do cute things but they’re not cute just laying there.”
“They’re usually crusty around the mouth and nose.”
“Small isn’t automatically cute to me… nor is bald and whatnot.”
“I’d prefer to hold a puppy or kitten because those are cute to me.”
“I’m sure I will think my own baby is cute… but because I’ll be biased.”
“I don’t dislike or hate kids.”
“Some older kids are fun as hell.”
“But I don’t want to hold your baby.”
“It’s not fun for me… just a semi-stressful thing I will be waiting for to be done as soon as it starts.”
“Sorry?” ~ cMeeber
“Agreed. OP, you should post this on the childfree subreddit.”
“There are a lot of people there who would agree with you.”
“I am childfree, but I, personally, love babies.”
“I just didn’t want my own.”
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for not wanting to hold the baby.”
“Are you going to be graduating soon so you can move out and get away from them?”
“I would also suggest locking your bedroom door so your sister won’t do creepy things while you are sleeping. Good luck.” ~ XenaSebastian
“I am 49 years old, female, happily married over 20 years, and I feel exactly the same way about babies.”
“I am A[ttention]-D[eficit]/H[yperactivity] D[isorder] but not autistic.”
“I just. Don’t. Want. To. Touch. Babies.”
“That does not make me ‘traumatized’ or terrible, or even neurodivergent.”
“It just means I don’t want to touch babies, even those to whom I’m related.”
“My life is cerebral (I teach in a college), I have no motherly instincts, and I can be in the same room with a baby, but I will not touch it.”
“There is nothing wrong with me for that, and there is nothing wrong with you for it, either, OP.” ~ Grump_Curmudgeon
“NTA. Putting an infant child in bed with you and filming it while you’re sleeping is a major, major red flag and creepy and gross and in every way inappropriate.” ~ Inevitable-Speech-38
“NTA. This is exactly how I feel about children.”
“This Reddit has now started a 30-minute argument between my partner and me because he thinks I’m insane for being grossed out by babies and thinking there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Don’t worry, he is the insane one.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Kids under 8 are seriously gross.” ~ Jolly-Variation-976
“NTA… your sister and parents need to accept not everyone wants to deal with a kid.”
“SHE had the kid. SHE can deal with it.”
“Also start locking your door when you go to sleep so she can’t do such creepy creepy in the future.” ~ EbonyDoe
“NTA. Your mother and sister are the ones crossing boundaries here.”
“Maybe they need to talk to their psychiatrist as to why they think they need to force you to hold a child you clearly are uncomfortable spending time with.”
“Will you be in a position to move out soon?”
“When do you finish school?”
“You’re caught between a bit of a rock and a hard place because I can’t see your mother and sister backing down here because it’s your mother’s house.”
“They are very much in the wrong, but they will push it.” ~ KitchenDismal9258
“NTA. Just hang in there.”
“Keep repeating that you don’t want to hold the baby, that you don’t want to be around the baby or have the baby in your space.”
“Just lay the same boundary over and over.”
“You can say, ‘I think it is reasonable to want my own personal space.’” and ‘Lots of people don’t prefer babies. I’m not alone in this.’”
“What they are trying to do, OP is to get you to be a babysitter.”
“If you can get along with the baby, they can take advantage of the free labor.”
“So they will continue to push the baby in your face in hopes you will help with childcare.”
“Keep laying those boundaries until you are done with school.” ~ violetauto
“NTA. I never understand why people would want someone who is clearly averse to holding a child to hold that child.”
“Taking pictures of you while you’re asleep with the baby next to you is kinda creepy to me.” ~ TemptingPenguin369
“Yeah, I actually have panic attacks when people try to get me to hold their babies because most of them don’t want to take no for an answer.”
“I don’t understand why me not wanting to hold their baby makes it then become some weird crusade to get me to hold the baby.”
“Like I will suddenly realize I love holding babies. LOL.” ~ ShutDaCussUp
“NTA. I had four kids, and I am always shocked when I see questions like this.”
“No parent should be okay passing their children (and infants!!!) to people who do not want to hold them. It doesn’t matter why they are declining.”
“If they don’t want to hold your child, you shouldn’t want them to hold your child.” ~ lyan-cat
“NTA – I’m exactly the same and object to having children forced on me.”
“When they are older and can communicate, I am a little more tolerant, but forcing a child on you is unnecessary.”
“Some people just aren’t child friendly, and there is nothing wrong with that!” ~ kittykat7931
“INFO- how do you feel about the stroller/dog walks?”
“Asking this first because I think it is valuable to have some attachment to your nephew since you all live together.”
“I think trying to avoid all interaction is just going to cause misery and resentment amongst all parties in the house and is also just not* (edited) realistic.”
“The walks could be a decent way to spend time getting used to each other in a way that doesn’t feel overwhelming.”
“NTA- I think it’s reasonable to not feel a strong desire to hold the baby right away, especially since he’s not your kid.”
“Touch is very sensory, and if you aren’t a parent who spends a lot of time holding the baby, it can be extremely hard to develop a touch attachment that feels good.”
“Your family suggesting something is wrong with you for not wanting to hold and play with the baby is unfair.”
“This is a new person. You’ll bond in your own way if you choose to engage.”
“Touch doesn’t have to be the only way you express affection or engage, but you will have to interact with your nephew if you all live together.” ~ Reasonable-Guess93
“NTA. I also don’t like kids.”
“Not everyone likes children.” ~ Microwave_7
OP came back with additional info that may/may not matter…
“I recently got tested, and it’s highly likely I’m autistic.”
“I also don’t feel any love or attachment to the baby.”
“I don’t hate him. I just feel nothing besides mildly grossed out by him.”
“INFO: I refer to the kid as ‘the kid’ because this is an anonymous post.”
“I refer to him by his name in all other situations.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Not everybody loves kids.
You’re entitled to your feelings.
And your family doesn’t get to bully you into liking your nephew.
We do hope as he ages, perhaps you can find some common ground.