For those of us who have tools we use daily, like hearing aids or glasses, we’re surprised at people who take a serious interest in them.
They might just ask questions about them, but others will want to hold them, inspect them, or manipulate them in some way.
But this can cause serious problems for the person who actually needs them, stresses the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Throw_Glassesx77 was furious when her boyfriend kept playing with her glasses, only to eventually break them.
When he insisted she was ridiculous for wanting him to replace them, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was asking for too much.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for wanting my boyfriend to pay me for new glasses?”
The OP’s boyfriend kept messing with her glasses.
“My (21 female) boyfriend (22 male) has recently become interested in my glasses, either by trying them on or hiding them from to time as a ‘prank.'”
“I need my glasses all the time to do basically everything.”
The OP’s boyfriend ultimately took it too far.
“Days ago, he wanted to try what it was like to shower while wearing glasses and took them while I was asleep.”
“He, unfortunately, dropped them and caused them to break by stepping on them in the tub.”
“I found out after I woke and freaked out.”
“He tried to calm me down but I started arguing with him about touching my glasses.”
“He said he was just doing an ‘experiment’ and didn’t mean for them to break.”
The moment led to a serious argument.
“I told him to pay me for new ones.”
“He thought that was ridiculous.”
“We started yelling at each other.”
“He said he had to go to school, but the argument continued later.”
“He keeps avoiding paying me and says it was just an accident.”
“He said that I had no right to ask him to pay me for new ones and I should stop pushing.”
“AITA for insisting on new glasses – it might have been an accident but still?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said that no one should mess with someone else’s glasses, period.
“I wear glasses (2 sets actually because I can’t stand bifocals) and hearing aids (cause I’m deaf).”
“There’s an unspoken rule in the deaf community, you do not try out each other’s hearing aids. Period. Same with glasses.”
“Plus, what is he, 5 years old?” – iamthepita
“My 2-year-olds know they’re not supposed to touch mama’s glasses. Sometimes if they’re on my lap, they look at them, wag their little fingers and stay, ‘No touch! No touch mama’s glasses!’ which is adorable!”
“(Of course, sometimes one of them will get a cheeky grin on their face and knock my glasses off, so then I put them down off my lap and won’t let them back up until they acknowledge they won’t touch my glasses. This is apparently the most horrific consequence in the world, if their screeching is any measure. So that rarely happens anymore!).” – a_peanut
“I was -7 in both eyes before I had Lasik eye surgery a couple of years ago. I had worn glasses since 1st or 2nd grade.”
“Back then they were coke bottles. Then once tech evolved, I got them glare resistant, shaved down, etc. It was an investment getting my glasses.”
“When reading this, I got the familiar fear feeling when my glasses broke. I would even sometimes sleep in my glasses because I hated waking up not seeing.”
“He absolutely does not understand how dependent one can be on glasses. They are not the same as sunglasses that are accessories. Would he think it’s funny to use someone’s hearing aid then broke it?” – Infinite-Ad1817
“I feel like a lot of people somehow don’t realize that glasses are disability tools. They’re several hundreds of bucks and we depend on those. They’re not fun, fun, fancy things to play and prank with.” – FlinnyWinny
“I have had several people at my work get upset I don’t let them try on my glasses. I got a really cute pair that were like $200 frames. I am super careful with them, they have their own hard case, I don’t keep them on top of my head or hanging from my shirt.”
“People seem to want to play blind, without living the life. They don’t seem to understand what it is like to be unable to say, drive at night without glasses. I cannot see because lights get blurry at night for me. Glasses help with that. And seeing distance.” – melmoonhag
Others agreed and said the boyfriend should pay for the glasses.
“I’m deaf and I wear glasses too (mostly contacts).”
“Same with me, I am overprotective with my things.”
“I even made my bro pay for my hearing aid he broke.”
“He needs to pay for the glasses you needed to see, and you need to get rid of him. He’s a joke!” – OverDaRambo
“I love how frequently people that get mentioned in this subReddit touch something that isn’t theirs, break it, and then deny responsibility because it was an ‘accident.'”
“News flash: you are still responsible for things you break by accident, even if you had permission to use the item.” – daemin
“I’m all about the ‘no touching glasses,’ but one way to illustrate how badly one’s vision without glasses is, is ironically to have someone with proper eyesight peek through yours. However, that takes all of a few seconds.”
“Which in this case makes me even more concerned, because I expect OP’s boyfriend realized this connection and is using it as either a powerplay or a way to get her to change glasses/ contacts to something he likes better.”
“I have -7 and I would take this guy’s sorry ass to court over this. A pair of glasses can easily set you back a few hundred of your local currency. The worse your eyes, the more expensive because extra thin lenses help the skin on your nose not get sore from the weight.” – Lead-Forsaken
“He broke them. He pays for them. It’s that simple. Why should you pay for his childish behavior.”
“Him continuing to refuse would be such a put-off for me, honestly I wouldn’t want him to be my boyfriend with this pathetic behavior.”
“NTA” – NatZaJu
“He broke them intentionally, by the way. People don’t accidentally step on things hard enough to break them most of the time.”
“There would have to be a series of coincidences that had to happen for him to somehow ‘accidentally’ drop them, not have time to pick them up, trip somehow, and then step on just the right place and hard enough to break them, barefoot.”
“It doesn’t matter if it was an accident or not. He didn’t mean to break your glasses? You didn’t mean for him to break them either! It doesn’t matter if it was an accident; it doesn’t stop being his responsibility.”
“He could have an ‘accident’ and hit someone’s car, he would still have to pay for the damage. Do not let him get away with this, demand payment – he owes you restitution.”
“Try and get your money. And then think about whether you actually want to be with someone who disrespects your boundaries and your possessions and has no sense of responsibility whatsoever. (The ‘accident’ excuse can be extended to a lot of s**t, by the way.)” – notProfessorChaos
Some were also concerned by what this said about the boyfriend.
“I still don’t understand the “experiment”. What problem was he trying to solve? If it was solely about, ‘What is it like to wear glasses in the shower?,’ he could have gone to the dollar store and picked up some glasses for a couple of dollars.”
“But no, he had to use your PRESCRIPTION glasses that you said you need to do “everything”. His disrespect for your ability to function is falling enough, but then he is refused to replace what he broke is even worse. That’s not taking responsibility for one’s actions. Experiment or not, he owes you.”
“This guy is an AH. Run. Away.”
“I’m also a bit concerned that this wasn’t a control move. How better to make someone more dependent and isolated than to break the one thing they need to function? I’m getting more creeped out by the minute. Run Away, OP!” – notrunningfast
“OP. Your partner is showing some concerning signs.”
“A good partner would be offering to get you new ones and would actually help you find your lost glasses, not hide them from you. A good partner would much rather see you happy and comfortable, not annoy you and cross boundaries.”
“Please realize this is not normal and not okay.”
“Though not obligated whatsoever, a good partner can even offer to get you new glasses despite having nothing to do with them breaking.”
“The reverse is also true, they don’t have to and that won’t make them a bad partner. But breaking them and not wanting to fix it is not a good sign.” – DisasterDater
“I think a lot of people don’t fully appreciate that glasses are a disability aid. You are unable to see without them. And they are expensive as f**k. He should have never been handling your glasses, to begin with, but choosing to do so meant that he was accepting responsibility for their care.”
“He should 100% pay for them to be replaced, and then I would seriously reconsider your relationship.”
“The fact that he took your disability aid, destroyed them, and is not bending over backward to fix his ‘accident’ is a major red flag about his character. Even worse is he’s now gaslighting and victim-blaming.” – theresbeans
With her boyfriend telling her she was being ridiculous, the OP was questioning herself and whether she was asking too much by demanding repayment for her glasses. But not only did the subReddit believe she was totally within her rights to ask for new glasses, but they were also suspicious that this might have not been an accident at all.