Living with a roommate can be difficult.
It certainly has its perks, mainly splitting expenses, of course, but it comes with individual and varying expectations that some may consider unspoken norms.
Let this be a warning: they need to be spoken.
An online gamer on Reddit recently began making some extra income by streaming, and now his roommate is demanding a cut of the earnings because he is the one who pays the internet bill.
Believing this is unfair, he turned to the "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor buttonpalate asked:
"AITAH for not giving my roommate money for using the Wifi?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"So here's the deal. My roommate and I have this arrangement: he pays for the internet, and I cover the electricity."
"It's been working fine until recently."
"Last month, I made $2500 streaming on Kick and Twitch, and now my roommate wants a cut of that money, specifically $1000."
"I told him no, but now he's upset and saying it's unfair since he's been paying for the internet, which I obviously need for streaming."
"On one hand, I get where he's coming from."
"The internet is essential for my streaming, and he's been covering that cost."
"But on the other hand, our agreement never included sharing any profits from streaming."
"I feel like he's moving the goalposts and trying to cash in on something we never discussed."
"It's not like the electricity I pay for isn't being used by him too."
"To give you more context, we've never had any issues before this."
"We split costs pretty evenly and have always stuck to our agreement."
"I even offered to start paying a bit more for the internet to keep things fair, but he insists on getting a share of my streaming earnings instead."
"It feels like a slippery slope."
"If I give him $1000 this time, what's stopping him from asking for more next month?"
"I work hard on my streams, and while I appreciate the internet, it's not like he's the one putting in the hours or dealing with the stress of content creation."
"So, am I the a**hole for refusing to give him a cut of my streaming money?"
"Should I stand my ground, or am I being selfish and not seeing his side of things clearly?"
"I'm really torn on this and would appreciate some outside perspectives."
"Thanks in advance for your thoughts."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole, with many agreeing there is absolutely no logic to the roommate's ask.
"So if two roommates work from home and both use the Internet, do they have to split and share their salaries?"
"F* No!"
"You shud have laughed yourself to tears at this suggestion!"
"Your roommie can go pound sand!"
"Split the internet and electric 50/50. NTA" - dianeyear
"NTA"
"you're going up and his true colors are coming out, he's a leach."
"time to start looking for a new place to live, by the sounds of it, keep up the hustle and you shouldn't have a problem moving forward." - Jose6869
"NTA. He sounds like the mob."
"Tell him to f**k off and that you'll gladly pay the internet from now on - and he can pay the electricity." - ObscureCocoa
"OP, I'm pretty worried about your apprehension here."
"There is zero basis, logical, legal or otherwise that would make this even worth considering, and you are infact doing just that."
"And the fact he went there suggests to me you may be a little non-confrontational."
"What you tell him is "The answer is no, never." That's it."
"You don't go into examples or explanations and discussions, that door closes."
"You can also notify him you will ignore any conversations he starts regarding that subject."
"As others said, look into moving out, you don't want him turning off your internet mid-stream in retaliation."
"NTA" - Inc0gnitoburrito
"No - this makes no sense."
"You are just dividing amenities. If it's not 50/50 - then make it 50/50."
"Also, the internet is not just for streaming - I am assuming you both need to deal with life/work and use the internet for all other things."
"This is a total trash ask." - SGlobal_444
"NTA Your roommate is being ridiculous." - Bartok_The_Batty
"NTA. He's trying to profit from your work."
"Trade electricity bill with him for the internet."
"Either way, go ahead and get your own internet."
"It'll be cheaper than $1000/mth."
"Because if you give in, he WILL be coming for more next month."
"He is NOT entitled to any of your profits from your work."
"This way, he has no hold over you."
"His entitlement is crazy." - kmflushing
"NTA. He's acting entitled."
"If he works from home and uses the WiFi does he owe you half of his salary?"
"Of coarse not."
"This is the dumbest thing I've heard in a month."
"Don't pay him a dime." - JJQuantum
"This is absurd logic from your roommate."
"So if he worked from home on his laptop and earned a huge salary, does he owe you a cut of that salary since you pay for the electricity that charges up his laptop?"
"Massive reach."
"NTA, you owe him nothing." - spiroglif
"NTA. You split utilities."
"You don't split profit from using those utilities."
"He wants to play stupid games, tell him he keeps it up, you'll get your own ISP and he'll be on the hook for half the electric bill on top of his wifi." - Heavy-Quail-7295
"He has no point."
"You seeing his side is also wrong."
"He has no side."
"He is trying to steal the money you earned over nonsense." - TheKinksfan
"NTA - the internet cost can't be more than $200."
"Split the internet cost but there's no logical way he deserves any money from your streaming profits unless he's helping you make content and is in front of the camera with you, preforming and whatnot." - MEYO6811
"NTA. He is asking for something he has absolutely no entitlement to." - Odd_Task8211
"NTA - this is silly."
"Pay them the amount of half the wifi specifically, and call it the end of it."
"If they still want to throw a fit, get a new roommate."
"That would be like any roommates where one person is working from home and it requires being online."
"If you were a call center rep working from home, would they expect half your payckeck on top of paying your half of the bills?" - MasterGas9570
"NTA for obvious reasons your roommate is delusional."
"Also how does he know how much you made?"
"Insane and entitled lol."
"If you worked from home is he entitled to your salary?" - Strangeballoons
"NTA dont ever do that, you don't owe him anything and that's the most stupid thing I saw in a while, he wants 40% of your salary because he pays for the wifi ?"
"Then offer him to pay for wifi and he pays for electricity but then he will also ask for money cuz he is a rat" - Salt-Mixture-1093
"I can't understand the logic."
"You split the bills for what you both use."
"Isn't that the point of having a roommate?"
"How does him paying for internet somehow mean he's entitled to your money that you made?"
"I know some ISPs have a per gig type of plan, but even then, it'd only be the cost for the extra internet if you went over."
"But I don't see how you'd be able to stream with a limit like that anyway, so it's moot."
"NTA. Your roomie isn't making sense, and you might want to look for a new place or roommate." - toxic_nerve
Others believe the roommate may be a touch envious of OP's recent success.
"NTA - throw his logic back in his face."
"Well, for the internet and WiFi to function, you need power."
"Wonder where the money is coming from to fund that?"
"If he works from home at all, should he give you a chunk of his salary given that he's using the electrons that you pay for?"
"I'd imagine he'd be quick to reject that."
"Your roommate is showing that he's jealous, greedy and woefully entitled."
"I assume he doesn't do anything to help with the actual streaming, nor has he provided any of the equipment you use…so he has no claim to any money you make on the side."
"Offer to either just go 50/50 on internet and electricity, or tell him you can flip flop who pays for what…but he's isn't getting any of the money you earned." - dookle14
"NTA"
"I think he's just feeling envious" - Flowyflowerflow
"NTA he's jealous af 😭 if you're still trynna live there for a while I wouldn't offer to pay the whole I internet bill moving forward so he doesn't have to worry about it 🤣" - Sadababyy
"NTA. Money brings the absolute worst out of people."
"I'd def be thinking about my next moves when the lease expires" - Pretty-Benefit-233
According to his fellow Redditors, OP has absolutely no reason to feel inclined to give a portion of his earnings to his roommate.
He should, however, take their advice and either swap bills or switch roommates.
Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.