Maintaining a strong relationship with your roommate can be a delicate balance.
One always wants to make sure they’re pulling their weight in keeping their shared space habitable.
But one should also always be mindful of using their roommate’s things, especially if one does so without their permission.
Redditor moonbyjonghyun found themself becoming increasingly frustrated when their roommate continued to drink their milk without asking, or replenishing it.
They eventually thought they found a solution which would stop their roommate from doing so.
But when their roommate accused them of sabotaging her health and career, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for switching from non-dairy to dairy milk and inadvertently making my flatmate sh*t herself in an interview?”
The OP first shared their preference with a specific type of milk, which also suited their roommate, much to the OP’s chagrin.
“I’m not lactose intolerant, I buy hazelnut milk because I like to have hazelnut syrup in my coffee and adding hazelnut milk makes it even more nutty.”
“My flatmate is severely lactose intolerant though and has been drinking my milk ever since she moved in a few months ago.”
“I don’t have an issue sharing milk with her, but the issue is that she drinks so much of it all day every day that I’ll get a single cup of coffee out of an entire carton.”
“Sometimes she’ll drink the entire carton before I’ve even had a single drink, and then she never replaces it or refunds me or even acknowledges that it wasn’t hers to drink.”
“At some point she stopped buying her own milk and I was having to buy new milk daily.”
While the OP repeatedly addressed this issue with their roommate, they often found themself pleading to deaf ears.
“I asked her many times why she was drinking my milk, and said that if she does can she just buy a new carton.”
“And she would say ‘sorry’ and that she just grabbed the first milk she saw and that she’d get me a new one but just never would.”
“She started getting annoyed when I brought it up and would say I was being overdramatic when I mentioned how much it was costing me.”
The OP eventually came up with a solution which they assumed would stop their roommate from drinking their milk without asking, but found themself in for quite the surprise.
“Last week I got sick of it and decided to go back to drinking dairy milk, thinking that as she’s severely lactose intolerant she would stop and buy her own milk.”
“I thought wrong.”
“The dairy milk is clearly labelled, it has a bright red label on it that says cow’s milk but she still helped herself.”
“Unfortunately the day she decided to drink dairy milk was the day she had a new job interview, and the affects of the dairy laced coffee she took with her kicked in as she was in the middle of it and she didn’t make it in time.”
“She came home absolutely furious and laid into me about how I ruined her life, how this job was the opportunity she needed and I destroyed it for her by being a selfish c*nt and that I did it deliberately because I was too uptight to share my milk.”
“Here are the reasons why my flatmate thinks I am in the wrong.”
“I knew she was lactose intolerant and so knew if she drank my milk she would get violently ill, so by switching to dairy milk when I knew she was drinking my milk and might potentially drink it again I was putting her at risk.”
“She also said that sharing milk isn’t a big deal and that I’m selfish, she thinks I was overreacting and being cruel just for the sake of it and that I should have spoken to her about it instead of secretly changing milks.”
“She has threatened to report me to the police but I don’t think she has a leg to stand on.”
“Regardless she is making our flat very uncomfortable to live in, she’s taken my leftovers from the fridge and opened up my milk and left it to ruin, leaves all her mess everywhere for me to clean up and has ‘misplaced’ documents of mine.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed the OP was not at all the a**hole for reverting to dairy milk.
Just about everyone agreed the OP’s roommate had no one but herself to blame for her predicament, as she both drank the OP’s milk without asking and neglected to read the label.
“NTA at all.”
“She can read can’t she?”
“Also stop picking up after her, and get yourself a mini-fridge + a lock on your door.”- LittelFoxicorn.
“You didn’t secretly change milks.”
“You made a different choice at the grocery store because you could no longer afford the expensive hazelnut milk because she consumes so much of it.”
“It’s her job as someone with allergy to be aware of what she is consuming.”
“You did not disguise the dairy milk as hazelnut milk.”
“Her own bad behavior and carelessness put her in an uncomfortable spot and now she’s making your life miserable.”
“She has zero grounds to report you to the police, but if she keeps destroying your property, you’d have an excellent case to sue her for costs in small claims court.”
“Tell her you’ve put a camera in your room and you’ll take her to court if she keeps messing with your stuff.”
“Start looking for ways to terminate your lease and find another place to live because she’s crazy.”-Mayalestrange.
“It’s not like you secretly filled up a hazelnut milk carton with actual milk.”
“She drank regular milk out of a milk carton that was clearly labeled, knowing that she was lactose intolerant.”
“This is entirely on her.”-The_Real_Scrotus.
“OP don’t feel bad about her job opportunity, it wouldn’t have gone well anyways since she clearly can’t read.”
“YOU did nothing wrong.”
“She was regularly stealing your milk, and failed to read the label.”
“‘She has threatened to report me to the police’ – Officer, OP had MILK in the fridge! Arrest her!”-Initial_Number_4747.
“Keep buying the reg milk.”
“Return her mess by placing it in her bed.”
“Get a mini fridge with a lock.”
“Call her bluff with the police too.”
“Tell her while she’s at it, she can turn herself in for theft.”
“And if she’s going to be petty, you be petty too.”
“Beat her at her own game.”- Unique-Arachnid3630.
“Don’t do the crime if you can’t make it to the sh*tter on time.”
“NTA lol.”- Diddydiditfirst.
“Wait, wait, wait.”
“She STOLE ALL YOUR MILK, had an allergic reaction and is now threatening to report you to the police because the milk she STOLE made her sick?”
“Further this is going to be a great story for the grandkids.”
“Tell her to go on and call the police.”
“Then file a report for the stolen milk.”- jaethegreatone.
“This is hilarious.”
“She can legit see on the label that it was different than what you normally had.”
“How is it your fault that she drank it?”- Enchanted_Vixen.
“NTA but I’d be terrified to eat or drink anything she has access to.”
“She’s petty and vindictive and I’d lock your food up so she can’t mess with it.”- mflowrites.
“You’re not responsible for feeding your flatmate.”
“She can get her own milk since she’s lactose intolerant.”
“Also, she wasn’t holding up her end of the deal by drinking the dairy free milk and replacing it.”
“Can you afford to live on your own?”
“If not, do you have someone that can take her place as a flatmate?”
“She’s an adult and responsible for her own sh*t.”- ElevatorOk8601.
“Counteract with ‘and I’ll report you for theft of $X total stolen groceries’.”
“I’m assuming you’re in the US.”
“I’m in the UK but cow’s milk here is sold in plastic cartons and nut milks are sold in cardboard cartons.”
“If she’s not even stopping to check the completely different carton that’s on her. “
By the way, I’m dyslexic so I automatically look at packaging to determine if someone has nuts in because it’s my responsibility to manage my allergy but if I’m not sure, I read or get someone else to read ingredients for me.”- bibbiddybobbidyboo.
“Yikes NTA your roommate made her own problems by not listening to you.”
“Everything that happened to her is her fault.”
“If being lactose intolerant is so serious for her then it is her job to know what she is consuming, I am a diabetic with allergies and I always make sure I know what I’m putting in my body.”-Giggle_interrupted.
No one wants to find themselves in the situation the OP’s roommate did at her interview.
But embarrassing as it must have been for her, it might have been just the lesson she needed to be more mindful of eating or drinking what wasn’t hers.
Not to mention always checking labels.