Many people have problems with their roommates, but what happens when the roommates aren’t the problem but the neighbors are?
Redditor Lanky-Studio5874 would be the one to ask.
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) current neighbors drove her to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for telling my neighbor that my roommates and I aren’t babysitters ?”
She went on to tell her story.
I [20-year-old female] share an apartment with Casey [24-year-old male] , Nellie [19-year-old female] and Hannah [21-year-old female] along with Hannah’s 8-month-old daughter.”
“The issue at hand concerns our neighbors.”
“John [30-year-old male] and his wife Jane [25-year-old female] have a set of twins that are a year old.”
“So sometimes, Hannah and they will have a playdate with the younger ones. But recently, they’ve been using the play dates as a way to dump their kids on Hannah and the rest of us.”
“Sometimes for hours without answering the phone .”
“Now, I love kids and would be more than happy to babysit them. But, we are all either working, in college, or both.”
“So more often we’ve either been late to class or work cause we can’t contact John or Jane.”
“Yesterday, the four of us were preparing to go out for lunch and get some shopping done.”
“As we were leaving, John stopped us and said he needed Hannah to watch his kids while he went out to see a movie.”
“I told him we aren’t babysitters, and if they [leave] the kids with us again without answering. We’d call social services, to which he called a bunch of spineless leeches.”
“The other parents in the complex said that we were harsh to new parents and to have more compassion.”
“Edit: all the names are fake and not even close to what they are in real life”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“He called you leeches? Project much.”
“Tell those parents in the complex that you’ll tell John they have volunteered to watch his kids.”
“NTA.” – AffectionateCable793
“NTA.”
“The neighbors are being TA.”
“Hannah is a new parent too.”
“Anyone saying you need “more compassion” and to “be less harsh” is welcome to, and should, go randomly get taken advantage of to watch the kids for hours with no notice.”
“That’s ridiculous. You did great attending up politely and clearly for your group.” – Global_Loss6139
“Spineless leeches?!?”
“Ha ha… that’s really funny coming from someone who is actually leeching.”
“NTA.” – Wobblingoblin01
“NTA”
“Lol at the other parents in the complex calling them ‘new parents’ – what’s Hannah then?”
“Also, I bet all the other parents are older than you guys and thought they could exploit you because of that. Good on you for shutting that sh*t down.” – Lisbei
“NTA. It’s completely unacceptable for parents to be unreachable for hours even when someone is being paid to watch their children, let alone dumping them on a neighbor.”
“They do deserve a break, and they can hire a babysitter to do so. You were far too polite, in my opinion. Good for you for putting an end to this exploitation.” – Nelsie020
“NTA”
“‘he called a bunch of spineless leeches’”
“Bold words from someone who dumps their kids on unsuspecting neighbors and won’t answer their phone.”
“Also that he expected you to drop your plans so he could watch a movie.” – Kettlewise
“NTA. They wanted a baby. They need to figure out childcare without inconveniencing neighbors.” – hardcandy8923
“NTA”
“You did the right thing. Your neighbors have sh*tty boundaries.”
“While it may cause Hannah’s baby some upset (although at eight months old I’m sure she’ll forget them pretty quickly), I would find her a different playdate as they will continue to do this.” – Opposite-Guide-9925
“‘While it may cause Hannah’s baby some upset (although at 8 months old I’m sure she’ll forget them pretty quickly)’”
“she has no idea they even exist. It will not cause any upset. They do not play together at this age.”
“They will absolutely interact a bit in like a daycare setting, but they are not “playing together” at this age at all.”
“It’s like 24 months before they even engage in “parallel play” which is where they play side by side & observe each other.”
“tl;dr there is literally no benefit to these play dates except for parental socialization at this age.”
“if you do not like the parents you are play-dating with, stop doing it as the kid doesn’t really know/benefit/care.” – SuddenSeasons
“Hahaha, you’re the leech because you won’t give them free child care? NTA, but I’d just stop dealing with them.”
“If they get mad over that, then I’m sure they will only cause you more drama in the future.” – Independent-Idea1278
“‘Sometimes for hours without answering the phone”
“This is the line that concerns me the most. What if there’s an accident and the kids need treatment?”
“There would be a lot of questions as to why they didn’t answer. NTA. Stop having play dates with these people.” – west_of_edem
“‘So more often we’ve either been late to class or work cause we can’t contact John or Jane.’”
“NTA Once it became obvious that these parents were taking advantage of you and had no regard for your needs, you had no obligation to sugar-coat the truth.”
“And those other people who think you need to have more compassion? Yeah, they can lead by example and be John and Jane’s free babysitters.” – Due_Laugh_3852
“NTA. The effin leeches are John and Jane.”
“D*mn these people why even have kids if they’re going to pass them on to others because they can’t handle them or need a break.”
“For the parents in the complex, they should step up to the plate and watch the leeches twins from now on.” – Teani2003
“NTA, you have lives and obligations as well, and you stood your ground and called them out for taking advantage of you guys.”
“Stand your ground the next time they try to pull this stunt too.” – JaThatOneGooner
“NTA”
“Having compassion does not mean you compromise your own life for the sake of someone else.”
“‘As we were leaving, John stopped us and said he needed Hannah to watch his kids while he went out to see a movie”
“Hell no! Take your kids with you or watch the movie in your own place. My god, the entitlement of some people slays me!” – whoops53
“OP – Set up a Ring doorbell to document the doorstep convos with John. Not only to catch the possible drop and run. But in case he retaliates and calls CPS on Hannah.” – iwishiwasjosiesmom
“OP, you’re not legally responsible for them, and if something were to happen while they were in your care, you’re basically screwed.”
“Any future discussion regarding the twins just needs to be relayed that for potential liability reasons, you’re unable not to do them any more favors of babysitting and just move on and explain that to the complex busybodies if they press the issue.”
“No one likes the law involved when it comes to children.” – NumbersGuy22
“NTA”
“Being 20’s, childfree and pursuing your own life is a valid choice. Just like their choice to have a child.”
“If you didn’t live there and it was me, a 60-year-old man, do you think they’d be asking me? I really, really doubt it.”
“There is some stereotyping happening here, along with some expectations of you simply because you’re a woman.”
“Personally, going to see a movie and wanting childcare without notice is pretty d*mn selfish.”
“If they had an emergency or if they asked with reasonable notice AND it was convenient for one of you, that’s one thing, but not being able to say no is unrealistic, and creating drama within the building over it is immature and petty.”
“That alone would be a permanent nope from me.” – Nearly_Pointless
“???? NTA YOU’RE the spineless leeches? because you refused to let them dump their kids on you while they vanish into the ether? ya, YOU GUYS are the leeches in this situation” – Fiigwort
“NTA, they kids are a year old. They are not new parents.”
“This was not an emergency. He wanted to go see an f—ing movie. Sorry, but you had plans.”
“For the next person that says you were an AH ask for their contact info as you will hand it over so that they can babysit.” – Crazybutnotlazy1983
”I will never understand why people have kids if they don’t want to be a parent.” – GingerMau
“NTA”
“They need to learn how to raise their own kids before these two will end up losing them” – Kitsumekat
The OP went on to post an update.
“We called CPS on John and Jane. We’ve also agreed to avoid them and not answer the door if it’s them. Finally, we plan on moving soon since our lease is up soon.”
Hopefully, these parents step up before the kids get any older or before the authorities are forced to intervene.