Planning a family dinner can be a challenge.
It can be impossible to cater to everyone.
But when it’s a special occasion, like a birthday, it would be great if people could find their own way to navigate the situation.
It’s always nice to try and avoid dinner drama.
Case in point…
Redditor No_Stop5360 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for insisting on sushi?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My son, 11 years old, requested Sushi for his birthday dinner so I made reservations at a local sushi place.”
“I found out my I[n]-L[aws] were coming into town, and they wanted to get together, so I invited them along.”
“My S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] hates any food that is of any Asian origin, says it gives her migraines, and in the past would usually decline going out if we did not accommodate her, and we almost always accommodated her.”
“I spoke to my son about how his aunt did not like Asian food and asked if he would consider another location.”
“He really didn’t want to switch, he is obsessed with sushi.”
“So I called my in-laws, explained the situation, and told them they could come to our house for the Superbowl the next day instead if they wanted.”
“They said they wanted to see us on both days… I figured it was their decision.”
“SIL called me the morning we had reservations and asked if we could change the restaurant.”
“I said I was sorry, but I already asked.”
“I sent her the menu and told her they might have other food and to check.”
“She again complained about the likelihood of getting a migraine.”
‘I told her I was sorry, but that was all my son wanted, and she was welcome to come the next day to spend time with us.”
“She chose to come anyway.”
“Long story short, she orders a Chinese dish although other items were available, hates it, and almost vomits at the table.”
“Then my M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] and B[rother]-I[n]-L[aw] feel sorry for her, and my oldest daughter also felt bad.”
“All the attention was on SIL when they brought out my son’s bday dessert.”
“The whole scene kinda ruined the moment, but I tried to make the best of it.”
“At the end of the meal, MIL turns to me and says what a shame it is we had to have Asian food, and now SIL will be sick for weeks.”
“Apparently her migraines do not go away when she smells or eats Asian anything.”
“She says this right in front of my son!”
“My son, of course, now feels bad… Night ruined.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for not picking a different restaurant?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“She threw a big tantrum on purpose to ruin the night for not getting her way.”
“I truly don’t believe she can’t eat this food, either.”
“If I know a food is going to make me ill, I’m definitely not going to deliberately eat it!”
“But she did, so it’s not about the food and never was.”
“She probably just doesn’t like that type of food and instead of just saying ‘I don’t like Asian food,’ she created this whole big childish, attention-seeking, nonsense situation just so no one will ever choose Asian food around her.” ~ KoaaalaaaMama
“Your SIL is an AH.”
“If they wanted to see your family then just come to dinner, order a drink and a dessert, and enjoy the company.”
“Eat before or after.”
“Or if that’d be inconsiderate to the restaurant, especially given her theatrics which are downright rude, then offer to meet up for cake after.”
“What an immature girl she is.”
“Afraid to ask how old she is!” ~ las424
“NTA. SIL is though, and incredibly selfish as well.”
“She basically ruined your son’s birthday and everyone feels sorry for her???”
“Sounds like SIL needs to always be the center of attention and your family just feeds her need.”
“I feel sorry for your son.” ~ OrchidGlimmer
“Let’s say everything she says is true, it still doesn’t excuse her behavior.”
“No one forced her to come or to order food at all.”
“She could have just ordered a drink and enjoyed the company.”
“There were other dishes available, but she chose not to order them.”
“She also chose not to get up from the table when she felt sick.”
“A grown woman not only demanded attention, but she also made choices to punish your son.”
“That has nothing to do with her medical issues. NTA.” ~ concretism
“NTA. How has your SIL convinced anyone that all Asian food causes migraines?”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“I would just stop inviting her places.” ~ Individual_Shirt_228
“The reason doesn’t really matter. SIL is an adult, and you told her you would see her the next day.”
“Nobody forced her; she decided to go, so everything after that is on her.”
“It’s her responsibility to avoid any triggers.” ~ Wizard_of_DOI
“This. I have dietary restrictions.”
“If I truly can’t eat a single thing safely at a place and I want to go for a gathering that’s important to me I get a drink, even if it’s just water, and eat something safe before or after the gathering.”
“I alone am responsible for what I put in my mouth and any consequences that come from it.” ~ qqweertyy
“Same – I’m vegetarian, but my daughter is obsessed with Chinese hot-pots at the moment and wants that for her birthday meal, and they typically don’t have any/many veg options.”
“That’s fine – it’s her night. I’ll eat what I can if I can, and I’m more than happy to grab something else on the way home afterward if I need to.”
“Worst case, I’ll just have a drink at the restaurant and eat when I get home.”
“The idea that everything should be about ‘you’ (as in OP’s SIL is absolute bulls**t) – they told her where they were going, why they were going there, and offered to meet on other days.”
“OP is 100% NTA. Good on them for supporting son’s choice, and f**k the SIL for being an attention-seeking muppet.” ~ Solivaga
“It was on her to avoid this situation.”
‘If she’s allergic/sensitive to a certain cuisine, DON’T EAT IT.”
“Also, every sushi place I’ve ever been also has chicken teriyaki and plain rice.”
“She ordered for herself, then made a huge production out of ‘being sick.'”
“Absolutely attention seeking.”
“Her parents are doing her 0 favors playing into this, and I’d have insisted she not come.”
“I hope your son gets a do-over dinner with just you guys and his friends and no drama. NTA.” ~ jcgreen_72
“NTA. SIL is a lying hypochondriac who made herself sick.”
“There is nothing in Asian food that causes migraines.”
“She shouldn’t have eaten it if it would genuinely make her sick, so she did it on purpose.”
“It was your child’s birthday and they get to do whatever they want.” ~ HotHouseTomatoes
“NTA. As a lifelong migraine sufferer, there is no way I’m going to eat or be around food that gives me a migraine.”
“And I would never ever expect anybody to change the location where they’re going to have a birthday celebration or any meal for that matter to accommodate me.”
“Your sister-in-law made a stupid decision, and now she’s paying the consequences.”
“And she’s most likely getting the migraines if she gets them from the MSG that can give people migraines.”
“But if she really gets migraines, and they really last two weeks, there’s no way she would’ve gone let alone eat the food.” ~ Winter_Dragonfly_452
OP came back with some info…
“My son has other celebrations planned this weekend, so don’t worry about him. He’s gonna have a blast.”
“We had a nice talk about when to and when not to feel guilty about something.”
“This was one of those situations where he shouldn’t take any of the blame.”
S”IL was not formally invited.”
“My in-laws stay with her when they come to town.”
“She chose to tag along.”
“I was hoping she would either not come or order one of the American dishes.”
“In-laws are nice despite their enabling SIL’s behavior and her neverending medical issues.”
“I could not tell her to stay home, it would have ruined the night just as much and hurt my son’s feelings.”
“He loves them.”
“Some of you are confused about the type of restaurant.”
“Their main attraction is Sushi but they also have a menu with Thai and Chinese dishes as well as a couple of American dishes for picky eaters.”
“Thanks for all the responses and feedback.”
“This is something I have been dealing with for 15-plus years.”
“We are mostly low contact with SIL because of stuff like this.”
“She is a miserable person and I usually get so fed up, but since the inlaws mostly cater to her, as they have done her whole life, I put up with it a few times per year.”
“Occasionally I have to ask myself if I am being reasonable because when we are with the family, they plain old don’t see it.”
“So… She came to the Superbowl party, my husband and I chose not to draw attention to her antics.”
“She seemed weak, sat in the corner, and didn’t speak much to anyone.”
“We carried on as usual and had a lovely time, even MIL and BIL enjoyed themselves.”
“They are not in town very often, so it’s good to see them both.”
“Few words were exchanged with SIL as we chose to simply not feed into it.”
“I am going the route of carrying on with my life and not feeding into the drama.”
“Listen, but offer little response.”
“Don’t react to her attention-seeking behaviors.”
“My son had a fun party with friends at a VR Gaming place that afternoon.”
“We took him to this cool sandwich shop after with old school arcade games and Stranger Things Decor.”
“Then we served wings and appetizers for the Superbowl.”
“Son collected $100 cash from gifts, so he’s excited to spend it!”
“That’s all… Have a great night.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
And it sounds like you found a way to make it all work out.
Some people just can’t help but beg for attention.
It’s nice that your son got the chance to spend time with his grandparents.
And in the end, his birthday wasn’t ruined.