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Bride Livid After Siblings Correct Lies She Told Friends About Their Childhood At Engagement Party

A woman shows off her engagement ring to friends

Everybody has a past.

One way some people like to deal with the past is to try to rewrite it.

That is a tricky plan of action and usually leads to more issues down the road.

Lies, even well-intentioned ones, tend to make things more complicated in the end.

Especially lies that involve many people who are still living and are part of the major story.

Case in point…

Redditor wyal_ wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for embarrassing my sister at her engagement party by uncovering her lies about our childhood?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Yesterday was my sister’s (25 F[emale]) engagement party.”

“Me and my two brothers (one is 22, two of us are 21) have been on the other side of U[nited] S[tates] for the majority of 2023 and didn’t think we were going to be there for the party.”

“But plans shifted, and we ended up arriving home last Wednesday.”

“Now, I’m honestly not sure if I was invited so much as we simply happened to live where the event was being hosted because it was held in my parent’s house.”

“My sister didn’t outright say she didn’t want us there, but we didn’t see much of her in the lead-up.”

“We didn’t really know any of the people at the party, so we’re going around introducing ourselves to people, mingling, doing the party thing.”

“At some point, someone mentions the family photos on the well and how they were surprised to see a ton of us on the wall when they didn’t even know my sister had siblings.”

“This sent me down a whole rabbit hole of confusion.”

“This person elaborated and said she was surprised to see this type of photo on the wall because apparently, my sister has told all of her friends that my parents were extreme workaholics.”

“We have a really nice house so they weren’t surprised by that, just that it felt properly homey and lived in.”

“Once again, I was thrown for a loop.”

“Growing up, our home was THE house.”

“We had friends over constantly who were basically like extra siblings.”

“My parents worked the normal amount, and they were home with us as much as possible.”

“We got chauffeured around to sports practices, my parents took the time to get to know all of our friends well, etc.”

“I would even go so far as to say they were more involved in our lives than average.”

“It was my sister who really separated herself from everyone and chose to exclude herself from activities.”

“At some point during this conversation, a few other people overheard, and soon enough, there was a decent crowd of her friends around my brothers and I, listening to stories of us growing up that were blowing these people’s minds.”

“Because it’s apparently common knowledge among their friend group that our parents were so not hands-on, and UNcommon knowledge that we even existed.”

“I ended up having a really good time and felt like I made some new friends.”

“After the event, apparently, my sister was crying because I embarrassed her in front of all of her friends, and the work she had put in to separate herself from us ‘golden children’ had been undone.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA, but, you need to really consider that your sister may have had a completely different experience of childhood than you and your brothers.”

“She’s got enough of an age difference that it’s very possible that your parents were not hands-on with her as she went through things, only to show you and your brothers with attention when you passed the same milestones three years later.”

“That difference can be extremely painful for siblings who not only experience the lack of care but also are left to try to explain the difference in treatment.”

“It’s very weird that she omitted your existence, but would not be surprising if she felt basically neglected even as you and your brothers felt showered with love.” ~ mewley

“I hadn’t noticed that the only girl is three years older than the next.”

“I was three years older than my brother and got scolded in his stead from time to time: ‘Why did you let him fall from that tree,’ like, hello, he climbed it like a monkey. What did you expect me to do?”

“Looking back, it’s mostly my father being unable to regulate his emotions: he ventilated his worry over my brother’s bumps and bruises (he didn’t have any serious injuries) by screaming at me.”

“And my mom. And then my brother too. And then all of us.”

“Still, I can see how an elder girl might have felt burdened with a lot of responsibility.”

“I think it’s the small details of OP entertaining a whole crowd, with stories he knew directly opposed what his sister’s friends believed… and of ‘I felt like I made some new friends.'”

“To me, that reads so oblivious, it wouldn’t surprise me OP has never picked up any nuances of his sister’s experience.”  ~ Stormtomcat

“My sister is just two years younger, and we had vastly different childhoods.”

“In our case, it didn’t even have to do with how our parents treated us but came out of the fact that they moved into a new neighborhood belonging to a different school district between us starting schools.”

“Both my younger siblings went to school with middle-class kids living predominantly in houses.”

“I went to school with lower-income apartment kids with frequently unemployed parents.”

“Just 2 years apart but very different environments.”

“My sisters never noticed my friends couldn’t afford to go to the cinema or that I never got invited to a friend’s summer house.”

“Of course, I noticed that my sisters got to do tons more fun stuff with their friends.”

“They still talk about how ‘we grew up’ because they didn’t notice the differences.”

“They don’t know my class had an extra assistant whose sole purpose was to break up fights.”

“They don’t know I never had a proper math teacher or science teacher before high school (the one we had the longest was an unemployed actor).” ~ rackarhack

“My mum favors all the boys!”

“My adopted sister and I were live-in maids.”

“She calls them every week, and video calls.”

“My sister and I barely get a text, lol. It’s not unheard of to have a very unhappy childhood whilst your siblings grew up happily, seeing things in a very different light.”

“I would say NAH as whatever is wrong with his sister doesn’t seem to be the fault of OP, most likely parents favoring the boys.” ~ ZeldaMayCry

“It could even be unintentional favoritism from the parents.”

“Three boys, two twins, and one born barely a year before.”

“That takes up a lot of parental attention.”

“In all likelihood, the three brothers shared friends, making it easier to set up play dates, do carpooling, and get to know people.”

“Especially if the boys shared enough interests to be treated as a group.”

“Meanwhile, you have the older girl.”

“She’s not one of ‘the triplets’ so that automatically creates distance.”

“She has a completely different friend group, different interests, and different needs.”

“So she feels ostracized.”

“And, because the ‘triplets’ take so much attention, she feels like she doesn’t get any/enough.”

“The triplets individually may even get the same attention as her, but because they can often be treated as a group, she effectively gets less.”

“To put it another way, parents are being fair, and each child gets one play date for one weekend a month.”

“So parents set up a play date for daughter.”

“Daughter gets her one play date.”

“Then parents arrange for Boy A to have a play date.”

“But since they share friends, boys B and C also get a play date along with A.”

“So the boys get three effective play dates a month.”

“You can put that to just about anything else.”

“It’s entirely possible that the sister technically got the same as her brothers individually, but the brothers got more collectively. “

“And the brothers never noticed an issue, since they never really hit a point of being unhappy with being treated as a group.” ~ Kingsdaughter613

OP came back with a few details…

“I think this is the most likely scenario of what happened.”

“I know my parents often tell stories of how much fun it was to raise us all so close in age, but that the first two years or so were particularly hard.”

“They got into a rhythm after that.”

“But it’s possible my sister was still left out because my brothers and I were attached at the hip, and an activity for one was an activity for all, like you said.”

“I’m going to talk to her soon and get all the details of her experience.”

“This seems to be the closest I could imagine to reality in my mind though if I had to venture a guess.”

Reddit continued…

“I’m confused.”

“They thought the parents were extreme workaholics, and it was common knowledge that your parents were very hands-on?”

“These 2 sentences sorta contradict each other.”

“Calling someone a workaholic carries the context that they don’t have time for anything but work or will put you second.”

“How did everyone gather around you to listen to childhood stories?”

“At some point, you’d think they’d seek the sister out?”

“Also, no offense, I can’t believe some friend’s childhood family adventure stories drew a crowd.”

“That sounds boring as sh*t.”

“Then again, never been to an engagement party.”

“I don’t know. NAH?”

“Just a weird situation all around.” ~ Alarmed_Tea_1710

“NTA. She is entitled to her experience, you are entitled to yours, and if she never told her friends that you existed, there is no way to avoid some awkwardness.”  ~ Kindly_Egg_7480

Well, OP, Reddit is conflicted with this situation.

Many sided with you on the NTA aspect of it all.

But there is a lot of gray area to fill in.

It sounds like it may be time for a big family meeting, or perhaps just one with the siblings to get on the same page before the big day.

Clearly, there is a lot to discuss about the past.

Hopefully, you can all come together and figure it out.

Good luck.