It’s strange how entitled some people seem to be to how other people spend their money.
But it’s like, once they have some idea of how much money the other person has, they take it as an invitation to comment on their spending, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor teerowaway07 had started taking one of her nieces on her travels with her and recently offered to take another niece and nephew along on the trip.
But when her sister-in-law said her kids couldn’t go if she didn’t also pay for her to go, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my SIL (Sister-in-Law) that I’ll take her kids to Disney World but not her?”
The OP liked to help her siblings out with her nieces and nephew.
“So my husband and I are childfree and more well-off than most of our siblings. We bought a house young, have steady careers, and minimal expenses.”
“We enjoy being childfree, but I am also very fond of my nieces and nephew (4 nieces and 1 nephew from varying siblings on my husband and I’s sides), and I have worked to be a part of all of their lives.
“I make special trips for birthdays, and I help their parents with cleaning, yard work, and cooking as much as I can. My philosophy is that it takes a village, and I can be a part of that village.”
The OP recently started taking trips with her nieces and nephew.
“Two years ago, one of my SILs on my husband’s side lost her father. He lived in Europe and they had a strained relationship so he never met my niece, who we will call E.”
“So my SIL ended up going to his funeral but E and BIL didn’t go.”
“E was 8 and got out of school a week after her mom left, and my BIL (Brother-in-Law) was struggling to keep things in order.”
“My husband and I stopped by and cooked dinners, but we had an existing vacation planned, so we offered to take E with us.”
“It was a camping trip, nothing fancy, but she loved it and had a great time, so we let her come with us on several more trips since then.”
There was a misunderstanding regarding a recent trip.
“Cut to now, my brother and his wife had kids young and have always been broke. It’s been a hard year for them, and my SIL was talking about how badly they needed a break.”
“My husband, E, and I had planned a trip to Disney World over fall break, so I talked it over with my husband and offered to take their two kids with us as well.”
“My SIL got excited and said she would text my brother to get the time off work ASAP (as soon as possible).”
“I was confused and clarified that I just meant to take the kids with us so they (the adults) could have a bit of a break.”
“SIL ended up getting mad and asking, ‘What about us? You’re just gonna leave us at home to do nothing while you guys have fun? I’ve never even been to Disney World!'”
“I told her I didn’t mean it like that, but she’s pretty p**sed and won’t let her kids go if they can’t also go.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were surprised the SIL wasn’t grateful for the trip the OP was offering her children.
“Here, these parents could have a break from the kids and appreciate that their kids are getting a fun time and being taken on a trip that they as parents couldn’t afford.”
“But no, they just get p**sy and think that OP oughta pay for them to go, too.”
“Well, good grief, they weren’t invited, and it was to alleviate some stress on THEM so they could relax a bit.”
“I get that she wanted to go with OP, but d**n! She did make her own bed, and OP IS (and has, in a variety of ways) trying to make it easier to lie in it. Some people…” – PickleNotABigDill
“I have four kids. If someone asks to take just one of them, I’m like, ‘Seriously??? You’ll take my kid (s)????’ Best days are spent alone with no kids in a quiet house.” – AbbreviationsPlus654
“I’m a single mom… I could never afford Disney World for all 3 of my kids, but if my sister offered to take them, that would be such an awesome experience for them! I would be so grateful!!!” – Wild_flamingoo
“I have terrible separation anxiety, and I hate being separated from my kids for any length of time. My brain fills with a million ways they could be hurt because I am all of the crazy paranoid.”
“However, I know and understand that independence is important to their development, so I smile and kiss them goodbye and wish them a wonderful time.”
“If you love your children, you put them first, even if that means that they go to the zoo with grandma while you stare at the phone and make yourself wait an hour before texting to ask if they’re having fun (and more importantly, make sure your child hasn’t been kidnapped or fallen into the tiger cage).” – sandwichcrackers
Others were upset at how entitled the SIL was to the OP’s money.
“NTA People are so weird about spending other people’s money.” – JeepNaked
“OP will have the kids for the whole vacation while they have breakfasts with the princesses and get a fast entry for the rides.”
“You don’t think they would take care of their own children during their ‘dream vacation,’ do you?” – knit_stitch_ride
“The entitlement is strong with this one!”
“Honestly, who the f**k passes up the chance to have time alone as a couple when someone is offering to not only look after them FOR FREE but take them away so the adults can have quality alone time?????” – Forever_Damaged
“‘But what about MEEEEEEEE. I also WANNA GOOOOO,’ and the ‘If I can’t go, neither will the kids’ horrible parents.”
“Just awful-awful because the kids won’t get to go to Disney for free just because their parents suck at being decent and humble parents.” – RedditMiniMinion
Some agreed and shared stories of entitled people they had known.
“My father once offered a neighbor who was distressed she might not see her mother before she died, an air ticket both ways ($300 ish).”
“She came back the next day all excited over the trip she planned instead, expecting my parents to pay for it. Rental car and petrol money to drive there instead, ferry crossing, hotels along the way ( they were going to take their good time driving up) for her, hubby, and the 2 kids.”
“Not what was offered at all. It was several thousand dollars they wanted. Mum gave a flat no.” – kiwiana7
“Yeah, she’s basically holding the kids and their possibility of a good time hostage, hoping that OP will feel bad enough for them to include the p**sy SIL.”
“I grew up with my parents never being well off or anything. Vacations were road trips for a few days, staying in motels, eating fast food, mostly on credit cards that would never really get paid off.”
“My family in England offered to take my brother and I for a summer. My parents scrounged together enough money for flights for us both to fly as unaccompanied minors (10-12 yrs old) and they stayed back to work their a**es off to pay for it.”
“Parents who won’t sacrifice for the kids they chose to have irks me and I am so grateful to my parents for giving us the world, even when they couldn’t afford to.” – king_lloyd11
“I think part of it is when people struggle hard to earn not much money and they see someone else earning a lot more, they have a sort of automatic visceral reaction that the other person couldn’t possibly be working harder than them and therefore they don’t deserve the money.”
“So they don’t feel bad about wasting it because in their minds they deserve it more anyway.” – Wind_Yer_Neck_In
“My sister used to be that way. She was always negative and disgusted at anything I bought, saying I didn’t need something or why would I buy something. It’s like, hello, it’s my money!!”
“She’d also get p**sed if I bought our mom anything. One time my hubby and I won a lot of money in Vegas. While there, my MIL watched our 4 kids. So when we returned, we gave her some money, our kids some money, and my mom some money.”
“My sister was p**sed, asking why I would give my mom anything since she didn’t watch the kids. Keep in mind we didn’t give them money for watching kids, we gave them money because we were sharing what we had won.”
“People without money seem to think they’re owed money from relatives who have it.” – Royal-Wonder4375
The subReddit was collectively shaking its head over the sister-in-law’s reaction to the trip plans, let alone the fact that she was taking the trip away from her children since she wasn’t also going along.
Sometimes we need to be grateful for what is offered to those we love, even if that means we aren’t taking part ourselves.