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Singer Infuriates Her Friend By Telling Her She ‘Doesn’t Have The Voice For Singing’ Like She Does

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We often hear about the ongoing friction and arguments that plague some of our favorite bands. It’s worrisome because we just want them to keep pumping out the music we love to listen to, and know they’re feeling good doing it.

Rarely do we ever get an inside look at those arguments. We tend to hear about them afterword in the press.

But a recent post in the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit offered a view into those dynamics.

The Original Poster (OP), anonymously named throwaway726625, described a recent spat between her and her fellow musicians.

The title clarified exactly where the conflict began. 

“AITA for telling my friend she doesn’t have the voice for singing like I do?”

OP kicked off with a broad description of the singer in question. 

“My friend is a good singer, I’m not denying that. But her tone is more light and breathy. Her range is on the higher side. And she has a softer voice not a loud big voice.”

“People usually praise this as it’s ‘unique’ and ‘angelic’ often referred to if that helps explain it. She can sing low notes but I’d compare her to ariana grande, billie, Sabrina carpenter softer lower register.”

Then came the first exchange. 

“We were singing along to a piano and during her part she got a bit quiet.

“I made a joke about how it would be helpful if she could actually learn how to use her chest voice since she didn’t really have one.”

“I also demonstrated how it would be easier for her if she had a voice like mine, since I have a strong musical theatre voice.”

OP offered up a suggestion. 

“She responded she naturally has a softer voice naturally and different voices have different strengths. So I suggested if she can’t do it just give me her part.”

“The other girls then butted in, as they do, and said not everyone has to have the same voice type and that different sounds make the group sound interesting.”

“They also said that singing loud doesn’t mean singing good (apparently) and she sounded loud enough just a in mixed not full chest and apparently it sounded good.”

But OP’s patience wore thin. 

“After some practice I started to get frustrated. The part needed a clear strong voice, not a breathy whisper voice. It’s just what’s best for the group and our success at the audition.

“So I voiced this and suggested I take her part since I don’t think she suited the song.”

That led to some terse language. 

“One of the girls said in a rude tone ‘if you’re going to dictate what everyone has to sound like and act so up ur a** that anyone who doesn’t sound like you is wrong just get the fu** out’ so I just left.”

“I tried to work things out with them later on but they informed me they’ve redistributed my solos and no longer wanted me in the group.”

“I found this hurtful since I had everyone’s best interest in mind and never said she couldn’t sing. I don’t see what I did wrong.”

“AITA for literally being honest?”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Most Redditors agreed that OP was indeed the a**hole in this situation.

To hammer that claim home, they simply reviewed what happened.

“YTA. You made a joke about her natural singing voice, then proceeded to compare her voice to your ‘strong musical theater voice,’ and capped it all off by trying to take over her part. How do you think that would feel if someone did the exact same thing to you?”

“Maybe (and who knows because good singing is subjective) you were technically right in that your voice was more appropriate for that part. But your delivery method hurt her feelings and pi**ed off the other members of the group.”

“Just because we all have the ability to say whatever the fu** we want doesn’t mean our words do not have consequences.” — abaumynight

“YTA- you tried to take her part multiple times, insulted her voice style, and didn’t listen to the multiple people trying to tell you why what you were doing was rude.”

“You have quite a double standard— when you speak up and tell other people what to do, it’s ‘honesty’, but when other people do the same to you, it’s ‘rude.’ “

“Tbh sounds like they set pretty clear and fair boundaries and that parting ways is gonna be best for all of you since it’s such a bad fit.” — gofund_yourself

Others also picked up on the flaw in that “honesty” defense. 

“YTA. ‘I was just being honest’ is not a carte blanche for acting like an a**hole. You made your point, the entire rest of the group disagreed. At that point, you were outvoted and you should’ve dropped it.”

“Also,  ‘I also demonstrated how it would be easier for her if she had a voice like mine’ is just eye-rollingly obnoxious. No wonder everyone else voted you out of the group. You seem insufferably arrogant.” — missmistryl

“YTA Being honest does not mean being rude and self-righteous.” — KAW013010

“Wow – you’re a wannabe diva in training. You weren’t being honest – you were being a bully. YTA – settle down and go solo J.Lo.” — myKattDoesntLikeYou

“I’m just going to be honest, I don’t think you know much about singing. But you know even less about tact.” — sdw9342

Others identified some obvious jealousy at play. 

“You sound low key jealous of her. YTA.” — Amara_Undone

“YTA sounds like everyone else prefers her voice over yours, and that you’re a wee bit jelly here.” — _Deletion

“YTA We get it you’re jealous.” — Island_Witch

A few had some apt pop culture references at the ready. 

“Is this the Cheetah Girls plot? Just wondering because it sounds so….. Disney villain. YTA” — jainboww

“YTA. You sound like Rachel from Glee, and that is NOT a good thing.” — Downtherabbithutch

Perhaps OP will take a different approach when she undoubtedly encounters all sorts of voices in the next music groups she joins.
That is, as long as this experience didn’t turn her off completely.

Written by Eric Spring

Eric Spring lives in New York City. He has poor vision and cooks a good egg. Most of his money is spent on live music and produce. He usually wears plain, solid color sweatshirts without hoods because he assumes loud patterns make people expect something big. Typically, he'll bypass a handshake and go straight for the hug.