For some, their car is a sacred place where everyone is expected to be on their best behavior.
For others, the car is an extension of their home, and its purpose is purely utilitarian.
For Redditor eatingincar, she’d prefer to live on the more “sacred place” end of the spectrum, but she’s currently learning to drive her sister’s car, who lives on the opposite end of that spectrum.
This caused the Original Poster (OP) to turn to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for telling my sister not to eat in her car because it grosses me out”
She went on to explain.
“I’m [female age 15] learning how to drive in my sister’s [age 19] car. My sister and I have very different standards of cleanliness.”
“Her room is always messy, she has no problem re-wearing clothes, she sleeps with our dog, she doesn’t wash her face, and she only washes her hair like once or twice a week.”
“I knew she eats in her car because her booster seat thing had sesame seeds in the holes and I sometimes see fast food wrappers in the car, but I can just take off the booster thing and ignore it.”
“I got home the other day, and she was eating in her car, and there was food everywhere. It was disgusting.”
“When she came inside, I told her to stop eating in her car because it grosses me out. She said it’s not my car, so not my choice, but I told her I drive it almost every day.”
“She told me she has 25 minutes to eat and get to work after class, and her work is 15 minutes away from her school so she’s gonna eat wherever she wants, and if I have a problem with that, I can buy my own car.”
“I told her I can’t work if I can’t drive, and she said that’s not her problem.”
“She hasn’t been letting me drive her car because “apparently it’s disgusting” and she’s been kinda b*tchy to me, so I wanted to know if I was the a**hole for telling her not to eat in her car.”
“So AITA or not?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“YTA- It’s her car. Why can’t she eat in it? Because it grosses you out.”
“That’s fine, don’t use her car then. What about Mom or Dad’s car? Who is driving with you anyway?”
“In Illinois your 19 Y/o sister is not a legal instructor.” – zalkaare
“YTA”
“Not your car; you don’t get a say. If it’s hers, she pays the gas and stuff on it, then you get no say at all, especially since she was letting you use her car to learn.”
“Also your “i can’t get a job if I can’t drive” is an excuse. Do you know how many people I know who have worked and can’t drive?”
“You figure it out. But if you want to set rules in a car, buy yourself one”
“Edit: I’m not saying it is easy to get a job without a car. I’m saying it’s not impossible.”
“I’ve seen many people figure it out from riding a bike, to catching public transport, or with others so young, parents giving them a ride.” – Pixiegirl128
“YTA. It’s her car, and like she explained, she’s working, in school, and it sounds like she has a small child?”
“She probably isn’t exaggerating when she says she gets 25 minutes to eat. Also… her hygiene practices you listed at the beginning are not that gross.”
“She’s being very generous, letting you drive her car almost every day. Apologize, and stop acting entitled to her car. Beggars can’t be choosers.” – CausticMoose
“YTA”
“Well, that wasn’t very smart, was it?”
“Someone is doing you a favor and you repay them by saying they gross you out and trying to make demands you have no right to make.”
“And now they’ve rescinded that favor, as most would.”
“Don’t insult people and still expect them to like you or help you.” – stophittingthyself
“YTA.”
“It’s her car. She can eat in it. She can sit in it. She can do whatever she chooses in it. It’s HER car.”
“She is correct. It is not her problem that you can’t work if you can’t drive. You ruined your own chance at driving her vehicle.”
“Your list of things that make her “unclean” is pretty laughable as well.” – sheramom4
“This is what the grown-ups call: You f**ked around and found out.”
“Not your car.”
“Not your call.”
“Your judgey behind just got brake checked, and you were too busy minding her business instead of your own, you wrecked yourself.”
“So sad, too bad.” – GeorgieLaurinda
“Do you like your sister? You describe her with so much contempt, and yet you still think you have a right to dictate how she uses her things.”
“And that’s after she’s already generously let you use her car.”
“YTA and reduce your sense of entitlement, you’ll live longer.” – southernkal
“YTA”
“You being ‘grossed out’ is your problem.”
“‘Her room is always messy, she has no problem rewearing clothes, she sleeps with our dog, she doesn’t wash her face, and she only washes her hair like once or twice a week.’”
“None of this is your business.”
“Assuming you are the opposite, you wash clothes too often, with no regards to cost of detergent, electricity, and wear.”
“You think your dog is dirty. You are overly obsessed with your face and hair. Do you like this criticism? If not, don’t do the same thing to your sister.” – Agreeable_Text_36
“YTA, if it grosses you out, clean it. My dad let me drive his car once I got my license at 16. He works on construction sites as a head plumber.”
“When he would get home, I picked up all the food wrappers, glue, paperwork, pipes, tools and etc. then I would Vacuum it. Then I would drive where I wanted.”
“I never said anything, I didn’t want to ride in his dirty truck. So I asked him if I could clean it. I got free gas and a key to drive whenever it was parked.” – Far_Nefariousness773
“Ohh, I forget how rude and clueless teens can be.”
“Yta for your attitude, yta for being so judgemental, yta for being so entitled, yta for thinking you can tell your sister what she can and can’t do, and yta for your snarky replies to random people on this post.” – Green-Airport-29
“YTA also washing your hair once or twice a week is completely fine? In fact, it’s a lot better for your hair if you wash it once a week.”
“Your hair doesn’t get unhygienic, lol. I find it really weird how you’re taking digs at her.”
“I understand you don’t like food crumbs. But it seems to be that she really doesn’t have time to eat elsewhere. She’s letting you use her car, and she doesn’t have to let you.” – Accomplished_Cut_968
“YTA.”
“Look, washing hair twice a week isn’t gross. Nor is re-wearing clothes a few times. Nor is sleeping with a dog on the bed.”
“Nor are the other things you mentioned, including eating in the car. It sounds like she’s doing a LOT and managing things pretty d*mn well.”
“Classes, then a job, teaching your ungrateful a** how to drive and probably also trying to have some kind of life as well.”
“You clearly have issues with germs and what you see as gross.”
“That is entirely a you thing, and maybe you should get some therapy to help as the world gets way more gross than your sister eating in her car.”
“You will have to deal with a lot of things, and at the moment, you don’t seem like you are managing this issue too well.”
“Also, lay off your sister and maybe thank her for taking time out of her very busy schedule to help you out.”
“Maybe she’s eating in her car outside the house because she wants some time to breathe and some time to herself.”
“I wouldn’t blame her with the sounds of you and your family.” – _AngelicVenom_
“Her car, her rules. Also, washing your hair 1-2 times per week is fine as is rewearing clothes! You should not wash clothes after one wear unless they are muddy or something.”
“Lots of people let their dog sleep on their bed. The washing the face thing is a bit gross, but I don’t know why you are monitoring your sister in the bathroom.”
“Or her eating habits. You really need to learn to mind your own business, or people will not (like she has shown) want you around.” – StunnedinTheSuburbs
“YTA, but a soft one as you’re only 15, and it’s developmentally appropriate to learn these things at your age.”
“This is a boundary vs rule issue. Now how boundaries work is like this. They apply to your body, your possessions, your time, and your space and are up to you to enforce.”
“So your sister would be completely allowed to say “I won’t allow smoking in my car” for eg.”
“And if someone tried to smoke in her car or did, she’d enforce that boundary by no longer letting them get inside the car.”
“Now what you’re doing is trying to impose a rule on a third person about a possession NOT your own.”
“So “you have to let me smoke in your car/you can’t smoke in your car.” You can’t do that. I mean, you can say it, but this is how people tend to react to imposed rules on themselves or their property.”
“They say no. She’s being a bit petty about it, probably because you hurt her feelings, but she is allowed to say who gets to use her car or not. It’s her property.” – Cool_Relative7359
Looks like the OP is getting lessons in more than just driving.