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Woman Called ‘Selfish’ After Refusing To Postpone Hawaii Trip To Babysit For Single Mom Sister

Woman in Hawaii
Siri Stafford/Getty Images

Often times, people say they would do anything for those they care about… and at its core, the sentiment is usually true.

But just because they say it – and mean it – doesn’t mean people can drop everything to perform a needed task, especially not if they’ll be several time zones away at the time.

A woman on Reddit is being called “selfish” because she refused to rebook the vacation to Hawaii she has been anticipating for years when her sister needed a last-minute babysitter, so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.

Redditor Future_Biscotti9 asked:

“AITA for refusing to babysit last minute on my vacation?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So, I (28/F[emale]) am this close to a long-awaited vacation in Hawaii with my boyfriend (30/M[ale]).”

“We saved up for months for this trip and haven’t had a real break in over two years.”

But there’s one little problem.

“Yesterday, my single-mother sister (32/F[emale]) calls me freaking out.”

“Apparently, her babysitter cancelled last minute, and she has a huge work presentation tomorrow night.”

“She has two kids (5/3), who are a handful (to put it mildly).”

“She begs me to rebook our flights for later.”

OP doesn’t believe that’s a reasonable request.

“I explained that she’s talking about our vacation and everything is booked and paid for.”

“My sister got really huffy and said I was being selfish and could at least try.”

“Flights to Hawaii are expensive, and there’s no way I could find something affordable on such short notice.”

“My boyfriend thinks I handled it fine, but now I’m feeling guilty.”

“AITA for refusing to give up my vacation to babysit?”

OP has offered the following explanation for why she thinks she might be the a**hole:

“Some people believe that family should help each other out, especially in emergencies.”

“My sister is a single mother in a bind, and my refusal to reschedule could be seen as putting my own wants before her needs.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.


“Her work issue isn’t your emergency.”

“And I doubt your sister was offering to cover the costs of you flight rebooking, lost hotel reservation, and lost days of PTO.”

“Your sister has some gall to even call you.”

“Certainly, she must have had some friend or family member who might be available who wouldn’t have to give up their vacation to do so.”

“I’m left wondering what the real reason is that her babysitter cancelled…”

“Poorly behaved kids? Insufficient payment? Your sister staying at work later than agreed upon?”

“Just saying that she doesn’t exactly sound like a model client…” – teresajs


“I feel there’s a background here if you are even thinking this.”

“Who the f**k thinks people should be rebooking holiday flights for babysitting?”

“She needs to plan her life better FFS.”

“Look after yourself OP – I would suggest no babysitting in future.” – plasmaexchange

“NTA, usually people are paid to babysit, I can see you skipping on getting paid to help your sister, but her expecting you to practically sacrifice hundreds of dollars so you could babysit is a bit too much.”

“You can tell her that you’ll think about it if she promises to reimburse you for the cost of rescheduling everything, but I have a feeling that she’ll cuss you out and then magically find another person or babysitter to help with her kids.” – Lopsided_Put4682

“NTA, if you’ve been planning this vacation for months, everyone knows about it, your sister is the entitled AH for even suggesting to cancel you vacation just to babysit her kids.”

“Like wtf?!”

“She can hire another babysitter, other relatives or ask another mom/friend if they can help her instead.” – Ok-Abbreviations1551

“NTA and seriously: If this was even a question in your mind, I recommend some self-reflection on how you are with boundaries and entitled people.”

“Because OF COURSE asking you to try and rebook your vacation so she can be less distracted when prepping for a work presentation is an insane ask.” – Irish_Whiskey

“I think your sister is jealous and is just lying to you to get you to cancel your vacation.”

“Her kids are not your problem.”

“No normal person would do this.”

“NTA at all.” – GirlDad2023_

“NTA yes being a single mom is hard, really, really hard.”

“Yes, your sister had an emergency because her babysitter cancelled.”

“But demanding that you’re rebook your flights,no, no, no. “

“You can’t help your sister in her emergency because you’re on board of a plane full stop” – Ghostthroughdays


“How could you possibly think that was a reasonable request you should feel guilty to refuse?” – uncommonbreeddogmom

“NTA – it’s completely unreasonable for her to expect you to change your vacation plans to accommodate her.”

“She needs to pursue other options:”

“1. Hire another babysitter”

“2. Contact her mom-friends to see if they can take the kids for a few hours”

“3. Ask her mom-friends if they have a reliable babysitter they can recommend.”

“4. Ask her parents for help”

“5. Ask the children’s father for help”

“6. Ask the children’s paternal grandparents for help”

“7. Tell her employer her childcare plans fell through and she needs to reschedule” – Used_Mark_7911


“She needs to find another babysitter, it isn’t even remotely your responsibility to deal with that.” – SunflowerSeed36

“NTA, tell her to hire a babysitter. or call a friend” – torpedopicks11


“She shouldn’t have had children if she can’t take care of them.”

“You have 0 responsibility over those children.”

“You deserve to have your vacation.”

“If you want to help her under reasonable conditions, fine, but you have checked you can’t rebook the flights.”

“Unless she’s willing to pay the financial loss for you, she’s being incredibly selfish.” – Even_Peach7198

“NTA, but the obvious solution is that you agree to try, hang up, chill for an hour, then call back and say that you tried but it wasn’t possible 😂” – becthebest

“NTA your sister is ridiculous and selfish.”

“Do not rebook.”

“This isn’t an emergency.”

“She has resources, she just doesn’t want to waste her money, she’d rather waste yours” – WavesnMountains

“NTA obviously.”

“You can’t be expected to rebook flights to babysit last minute!” – SuzCoffeeBean

“NTA it’s INSANE that she thinks that you rebooking your flights and skipping a part of your vacation, is easier than her simply … finding another babysitter? asking a friend? asking a family member who ISN’T just about to leave the country?”

“Does she trust no one else on the planet but you and the babysitter who cancelled on her?”

“Tell her to find someone else or cancel her presentation, your booked and paid for vacation comes before her emergency” – Fiigwort

“She has a problem and thinks you should drop everything for her?”

“Um, who’s the selfish one?”

“NTA and you know it.”

“You could be planning on a movie and a pint of ice cream in your jammies, and still be entitled to say ‘no.'”

“No one gets to decide for you (without your permission).”

“Thus, this post comes down to about two-three relevant sentences.”

“Your sister’s problem is not yours to solve.]” – iowaiseast


“If she offered to pay prospective babysitters even a fraction of what it would cost you to dump all your plans at the last minute, then she would probably have multiple options to pick and choose from.”

“Not to mention avoiding all the extra stress in you for something that is absolutely not your responsibility.” – quats555

“NTA – who the hell has such an entitled attitude that they have the AUDACITY to call you selfish or an ah when they’re asking you to rearrange your f**king holiday for them because they can’t find a last-minute babysitter.”

“The kids are hers, not yours.”

“You didn’t sign up to be a parent.”

“Go on your holiday.”

“It’s not an emergency, and there are companies that exist for last-minute babysitting.”

“Her kids her problem.” – CrankyArtichoke


“Moving a vacation to another date on short notice is a huge hassle and could be a big expense.”

“Her children are her problem, and she’ll need to find another option.”

“Aren’t the dads involved in the kids’ lives?”

“No other aunts/uncle/granparents/cousins available?”

“‘Sorry sis, I’m not canceling my vacation. Good luck with the presentation.'”

“Nothing to feel guilty about.” – noccie


“Your sister should try and find a way to reschedule or find other Childcare.”

“I get she’s stressed, but you handled it well.” – Express-Educator4377

“NTA – this is insane and must be fake.” – twstwr20

“You’re joking about being the a**hole, right?”

“Her kids are not your responsibility and it’s not OK for her to expect you, or anyone for that matter, to drop plans because she has been inconvenienced.”

“That’s a**hole behavior.”

“You are NTA here.” – BlondeSoul


“This is not an emergency. Nobody’s dying.”

“The kids probably are in daycare, right?”

“Mom should get on the phone with some of the teachers, stat.”

“They are often happy to make some extra cash.”

“That’s where I got my first sitters when my kids were young.” – MamaMidgePidge

Hopefully by now, OP is enjoying a nice Hawaiian getaway.

According to her fellow Redditors, she has absolutely nothing to feel guilty about and no reason whatsoever to cancel or postpone her long-awaited and overdue plans.

Written by AB Keith

AB Keith is an educator turned roadtripper who is currently teaching virtually while touring the USA. Her dream is to visit all the national parks and create a series of nonfiction children's books about NP adventures through the eyes of her dog, Backpack Benny.