Food and family. Those can be two very difficult subjects.
When family comes to visit all you want to do is make them feel at ease.
Your home is their home.
Your food is their food.
But what if they take issue with the menu?
Case in point…
Redditor Scared-Outside4725 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for kicking my sister out of my house at night because she threw ALL of my food away?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I seriously can’t believe this is a thing, but my parents are really upset at me.”
“My sister and I grew up together but aren’t very close.”
“It really wasn’t from any drama (we didn’t have a big fight to cause distance), but rather just have opposite personalities and interests.”
“If I had to describe my attitude towards my sister it would be ‘apathetic love.'”
“Like, she’s my sister so I want her to be healthy and happy, but we just unfortunately don’t hang out, call to chat, etc.”
“She recently received an opportunity to interview for a job near our hometown, and reached out to see if she could stay with me for a week.”
“My mother was ecstatic that my sister might be ‘coming home finally.'”
“She moved across the county right after college and hasn’t been back in almost 10 years except for Christmas (she spends Thanksgiving with her in-laws) or the one off birthday/business trip/vacation.”
“I was more than happy to open my home up, thinking that we could maybe bond or deepen our relationship.”
“It was all kinds of awkward but nothing horrible until the third night.”
“I came home from drinks with my friends around 10PM, went into my kitchen for a snack, and realized that almost ALL of my food was gone.”
“I’m not even exaggerating.”
“I swear 90% of my pantry was just gone.”
“I asked my sister and she told me that she was shocked I ate anything with preservatives and ‘unnatural’ and that I was ‘poisoning my body.'”
“So she took it upon herself to throw away EVERYTHING she deemed unhealthy.”
“Guys, I’m talking about SO much food both packaged and unpackaged.”
“Even things like spices that weren’t fresh were tossed!”
“It was like someone had robbed my kitchen.”
“I demanded that she pay to replace everything, but she dug her heels in and said that she was doing me a favor and that the way I ate was ‘disgusting’ (her literal words).”
“I know I’m biased, but my diet isn’t even crazy. It’s pretty much standard food you’d find at any grocery store.”
“I was so upset I made her pack up and leave, and she ended up having to take a cab about 30 minutes away to stay with my parents.”
“My mom is absolutely devastated that we’re fighting and insists that I apologize in order to keep the peace, because she really hopes my sister will take the job and move back.”
“I told my mom that if she wanted to lose not one, but both daughters then she’d keep pushing me to apologize for something I feel I have a right to be upset about.”
“My dad says that she’s been crying every night though, and I love my mom so much.”
“I feel like a huge AH for being stubborn about the situation.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Your sister was a self righteous a**hole and was lucky she only got kicked out, I would’ve been tempted to call the cops on that crap.” ~Piper6728
“NTA, but OP your parents are literally telling you that they care more about the sister who moved away than the one who stayed.”
“Do with that what you will.”
“Spices can be hard to find and expensive depending on your tastes, and the food alone would cost hundreds of dollars! Get that money!” ~ Acceptable_Day6086
“I have a shit**y sibling who was always in trouble and took a sick delight into getting me in trouble.”
“He could sulk and play the victim like no one I’ve ever seen and I, as the oldest, would always be forced to apologize to keep the peace in the family.”
“I put my foot down about 30 years ago when he once again went to my parents with a sob story by twisting the facts of a conversation we had just minutes before.”
“Again, I was told to apologize without anyone allowing me to tell my side.”
“I then told my parents this wouldn’t happen anymore because I would not speak to him again.”
“We were both adults at the time and I had just had enough of the crap.”
“OP’s sister had no right to throw out food.”
“She was a guest in OP’s home and was not being forced to eat the food. I would have thrown her out too.”
“Definitely NTA.” ~ WarLazy7979
“This happens all the time in my family.”
“I have one shitty brother and both parents bend over backwards to do anything for him.”
“I stopped talking to him last year, because why bother and I still have to hear about all the things.”
“I don’t care, he’s a waste of time.”
“I have two young kids and I actively strive not to turn into this kind of older parent.” ~ MsMadMax
OP came back to sprinkle in some more details…
“Edit: To answer a few questions I was asked/dm’d:”
“Yes, I did invite my sister out to drink with me.”
“She declined, saying that she didn’t like going to dive bars and wanted to stay sober because it was a work trip.”
“I respected that decision, but I had already planned to go out with my girlfriends (it was a birthday).”
“I did the math, and she threw away close to a thousand dollars worth of food.”
“I listed some items in a comment below, but it included: dried pasta, ground beef, pre-cut veggies in a container, juice, canned soups, rice, chicken broth, leftovers, and even bread (because it was white).”
“This isn’t even close to the start of my list.”
“I can understand wanting to stay with a sibling. It could also be a space issue.”
“Plus it’s a 30 minute drive between the two, so maybe OP’s house is more convenient.”
“So a lot of possible reasons for that exist.”
“I do agree the sister owes OP money, but she probably won’t pay up.”
“I’ve absolutely apologized before even though I didn’t feel I was in the wrong just to not lose a friend over something dumb, but I would struggle in this case.”
“What her sister did was so blatantly wrong and any halfway reasonable person would know who owes who an apology.”
“Plus, once someone has cost you hundreds of dollars because they did something awful, it’s pretty obvious it would be really hard to trust them.”
“What if she attacks her closet next because she can’t believe OP supports fast fashion companies or something?”
“Letting her stay was risky and I’d say she didn’t have much choice but to kick her out.”
“So yeah, OP is NTA.” ~ jengaj2016
“Call me petty but I would tell my parents I’m not talking to them or the sister until everyone understands that this is not a healthy situation AND I get my food back.”
“I don’t want money for it, I want them three to go shopping and get every single thing that was thrown out back in my pantry.”
“Plus something for a supper so we can talk this shit through once I have my food back. I’ll cook you you listen type deal.”
“I don’t know how these people grew up but I grew up poor as s**t.”
“If someone threw out my food that would be the end of our relationship.”
“I’m assuming this isn’t the case in this situation so I’d dial it back a few notches.”
“But if you can’t have respect for the small things how do you know respect for the important things.”
“I don’t have time for people like that.” ~ creapfactorart
“I really find it so hard to believe there are people so self-righteous they’d throw out someone else’s food (also sometimes it’s clothes, spices, or other items based on previous posts).”
“Not that I doubt this post, just ‘who are these people who vandalize the homes of relatives and think it’s a good thing?'”
“NTA. I suggest OP invite parents over to her house and show them the empty fridge and pantry.”
“And ask them how they really feel about the waste, the gall, the unwillingness of sister to take responsibility.”
“And have them see how empty their fridge/pantry are when the return home since she’s staying with them now.” ~ farsical111
“Agreed NAT, I’d be super annoyed too.”
“Maybe go to your mom’s house and package up all of their food to bring to your house.”
“They can enjoy seeing what it’s like to walk into a kitchen with 90% of their things gone.” ~ Christinemfm_84
That is a lot of food and a lot of money to just be tossed aside.
OP clearly has Reddit behind her.
Hopefully OP and the family can find a peaceful way to move forward.
And dine together.