Sometimes, adult kids and parents just can’t get along.
Particularly if someone oversteps their boundaries…
And steals something of great sentimental value.
Redditor MrRedditisHere wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for kicking my mom out of my house after she stole my (yes it’s pathetic) houseplant?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m gonna keep this short because I just really need an opinion on this.”
“I (F[emale] 22) have recently moved into my first apartment after ages of trying to find a job after college.”
“It’s been a pain, but I’ve managed to get away from my Mom and Dad.”
“I’ve been here for about a month, and 2 days ago, my parents came around the house for dinner.”
“Now, small side note: my partner passed away last year, and I’ve really been struggling without him.”
“The last thing that he gave me for my birthday was a very small houseplant (one of the ones that pretty much survive forever if you take care of it).”
“So anyways after dinner I clean up and I notice it’s gone, of course, I go into absolute PANIC mode because it’s the last shard of my passed partner.”
“I look all around the house for a good 30 minutes and cannot find the thing.”
“So of course I get suspicious, it’s hardly difficult to lose a damn house plant.”
“I call up my parents and my Mom seems REALLY suspicious when I ask her about it, and after further questioning, she eventually gives up.”
“She stuffed it into her handbag with her and took it.”
“Of course, I was pissed and demanded it back, and my Mom kept on saying, ‘It’s not a big deal honey, it’s just a plant,’ and so and so despite my saying it’s the last shard of my partner that I physically have left.”
“I haven’t spoken to her since, and I’ve really been considering going over there and giving her a piece of my mind.”
“But at the end of the day, it is a plant and she does collect them, plus, it’s my Mom.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Get the plant.”
“Cut off the mother.”
“From what you said about ‘getting away from your parents,’ it might be time. NTA.”
“P.S. Who steals a house plant?” ~ scooby946
“That’s what I’ve been sitting here wondering, stuffing it in her bag and lying about taking it like it was some big heist she just pulled off instead of stealing from her own daughter.”
“And then to say it’s no big deal after hearing what the plant really meant?”
“Yeah, I’m with you they don’t need they kind of person in their life.” ~ TurbulentTourist7337
“NTA. It is completely bonkers to steal another person’s plants.”
“Even if you collect them.”
“I really like cats, but I can’t walk into a friend’s house and steal their cat.”
“It is absolutely a big deal.”
“She knew exactly what she was doing, and my guess is it’s a long pattern of mental abuse from your family.”
“Go over there, take back the plant, and tell them you need some space from them.”
“I highly recommend working with a therapist to undo the amount of damage they have done to you.”
“Mine has been a lifesaver.”
“I’m sorry for your loss of your partner, and I hope you get your plant back.” ~ EfficiencyForsaken96
“Even a friend who can drive with you over there and wait in the car helps tremendously.”
“I’ve had a similar situation with an ex-friend who had boundary problems, and having someone keep me calm when I went to confront them was wonderful.”
“I hope you go get your plant ASAP and moving forward really consider what you want the relationship with your parents to look like and the best ways to achieve it, even if it means going L[ow] C[ontact]/N[o] C[ontact] for a while.”
“We’re all cheering for you here!” ~ AllOfDaPuppies
“Why are you only ‘considering?'”
“I truly don’t understand your hesitation in being completely outraged that your mother stole from you, particularly considering the item’s sentimental value.”
“Your parents must have really done a number on you for you to think that any part of this is normal, okay, or not a big deal.”
“It doesn’t matter if your mom loves it, collects plants, or any other circumstances.”
“Not okay. Period.” ~ GlobalDragonfly1305
“So she just wanted the plant and decided to steal it?”
“Like you’d never notice?”
“Pretty strange stuff. NTA.”
“She needs to explain herself.” ~ SuperPookypower
“Look at this from the outside.”
“A person came into your home and stole something from you. Period.”
“You found the thief, and she confessed and used that excuse. It is just a plant.”
“You, in fact, are starting to feel guilty because you, unfortunately, are related to the thief.”
“If it is ‘Just’ a plant – why won’t she return it?”
“Go to the house and take it back.”
“It can’t be that hard.” ~ Different_One265
“NTA – but you need to go to your parent’s house and take the plant back.”
“Your mother did this on purpose to hurt you and to control you.”
“She wanted to provoke a reaction from you, and she did, but she still kept the plant.”
“She has no intention of giving it back.”
“She doesn’t care about your feelings or your property.”
“She is telling you that anything you have, she has the power to take, and you don’t have the strength of character to call her out and take it back.”
“It’s time for you to decide what message you want to give her.”
“It’s ok to take your stuff, even the stuff that means the most to you, or she is not entitled to take your stuff and you will take it back.” ~ shout-out-1234
“Get your plant back.”
“Cut off your mother until she genuinely apologizes (dad too if necessary).”
“This is even worse than stealing flowers off a grave!”
“She can cruise the local cemeteries if she wants a plant so damn bad.”
“ETA: NTA!” ~ Gangster-Girl
“NTA- Absolutely go to her house ASAP!”
“Walk in say nothing to her, find the plant, and take it home.”
“It brings you peace.”
“What she did is selfish and hurtful.”
“Please for your own sanity go get the plant.”
“Then ignore her excuses because that’s all they are.”
“You do NOT HURT your own CHILD because you’re selfish!!” ~ OwlUnique8712
“Girl GO GET IT!”
“That is theft.”
“You could even have the cops handle it if you felt so inclined.”
“NTA at all.” ~ Dandi21091987
“NTA. Do you need to come and join us over in Raised by Narcissists?”
“Narcissists love hurting their children.”
“Did she know your partner gave you the plant?”
“If so that’s absolutely vile! I think you should go, with a friend and get the plant back.”
“If your parents have keys to your house, change the locks ASAP!”
“This is really bizarre.”
“I would be questioning her mental state, but if she knows your partner gave you the plant and she took it anyway, she’s a dreadful mother and person.”
“I’m very sorry OP, I hope you are doing OK.” ~ TripleGoddess000
“NTA. Go get the plant.”
“It’s not ‘just a plant’; it’s the last thing your partner gave you and is highly symbolic.”
“And it’s deeply important to you.”
“Your mother had no right to touch it; let alone steal it.”
“And now she’s minimizing her behavior while gaslighting you and, by extension, minimizing your right to grieve.”
“Get your plant and put her on a time-out.”
“And maybe your father too because he had to have seen the plant in her bag.”
“I’m so very sorry for your loss 😪.” ~ Beagle-Mumma
“NTA. She collects plants, that’s great for her.”
“Doesn’t excuse what she did.”
“If she went to the Walmart garden section and shoved a cute little succulent in her purse, she wouldn’t get to say ‘it’s just a plant!!’ to the cops.”
“She stole from you, it is a big deal, and on top of that, it’s a cherished, living memento.”
“Not pathetic 💙 I hope you get your plant back.” ~ Celestial_Duckie
“NTA… go get your plant back.”
“Your mother had no right taking it.”
“Even if it wasn’t something that your late partner gave you, she doesn’t have a right to be taking anything that is yours.” ~ Crafty_Special_7052
“NTA. Of course,e you are not the a**hole here!”
“This is maybe better suited for Am I Overreacting, honestly, not sure what I’m judging.”
“But, no, in theory, you would not be an a**hole for ‘giving your mom a piece of your mind,’ depending on what you said of course.”
“She is an a**hole though.”
“After you explained the importance and significance of the plant, she should have given it back to you.” ~ Even_Budget2078
“NTA. Go get your plant back.”
“Only meet them in public from now on.”
“If they ask why, explain that their actions have shown that they can’t be trusted in your home, so now they will no longer be welcome.”
“Then don’t let them in again.”
“Maybe if she gives a real genuine apology, but honestly, I wouldn’t let a known thief into my home 🤷♀️.” ~ MissMalTheSpongeGal
“NTA… go get your plant, and if she doesn’t give it to you, let her know you are willing to call the cops.”
“Just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean it’s okay.” ~ No_Supermarket_7410
“Go and get your plant.” ~ Worried_Suit4820
Reddit wants you to go get your plant, OP!
This is outrageous behavior.
That plant means something special to you.
You have every right to be angry.
So sorry about your loss.