A student should always feel safe under the supervision of their teachers.
Even if their teacher has a stern and strict demeanor, they should still be someone whom the student can trust, and feel comfortable talking to and seeking help from.
When a teacher puts their student in a position where they do not feel safe, it can very much be considered abuse.
Even if no actual. physical harm was done.
Redditor Cupcake_From_Hell11 never felt 100% comfortable when in class with a certain teacher.
But following a private meeting, the very same teacher behaved in a way which the original poster (OP) felt had finally crossed the line.
Potentially even costing this teacher his job.
Worried she may have gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for reporting my teacher over a very uncomfortable joke?”
The OP shared what finally led her to consider reporting her teacher after months of feeling uncomfortable in his class.
“I (20 F[emale]) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class.”
“The teacher (50 M[ale]) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humor is kind of on the edge of acceptable.”
“He’d been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny.”
“Last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke.”
“I approached him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing.”
“He showed me the video and skips through it.”
“It was a lesbian orgy porn.”
“I got super uncomfortable and froze.”
“I couldn’t do anything but chuckle in shock.”
“I laughed it off, didn’t say anything about it and went back to what I was doing.”
“I know I should’ve said something then but I just couldn’t.”
“It’s been making me lose sleep since last week.”
“I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted.”
“So today I decided to call someone at school who I trust.”
“I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary.”
“But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started.”
“Now he’s gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first.”
“AITA for reporting my teacher over a joke?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for reporting her teacher for his behavior.
Everyone agreed that the the behavior of the OP’s teacher was not only inappropriate, but was blatant harassment, which needed to be reported immediately.
“NTA.”
“He’s been testing the females all year if he’s been making sexual jokes.”
“It’s grooming behavior, trying to make himself seem less threatening, it’s just a ‘joke’.”
“He absolutely knows better.”
“And reporting him was the right thing to do.”- kingsqueenofhearts
“NTA.”
“A 50 year old man knows that showing his student porn is not a joke.”
“He wants you to think it’s a joke so you’ll doubt yourself like you’re doing now.”
“You’re not getting him in trouble, he’s getting himself in trouble.”- gangster-napper
“NTA.”
“An uncomfortable joke would be this.”
“The teacher watching you knead some dough and then saying ‘I think your buns are going to be beautiful’, realizing what he’s said, laughing and then apologizing for laughing.”
“That’s an uncomfortable joke.”
“Showing you hardcore porn is so far past an uncomfortable joke that they’re not even in the same league.”
“See that very fuzzy dark thing in the distance?”
“That’s the line he crossed.”
“This is outright harassment and he should be fired for it.”
“Your teacher isn’t an a**hole.”
“He’s a criminal.”
“This is a crime.”- AlunWH
“NTA.”
“He’s not getting in trouble because of you, but because of his actions.”
“If he gets fired, it wouldn’t be because of you but because the school deemed that his conduct is unacceptable and is so out of line he doesn’t even deserve a second chance.”
“If that’s the case, they won’t fire him on your words alone, but because the investigation will show how awfully he has acted in the past.”
“He’s behavior was appalling, totally out of bounds.”
“I guess there’s a possibility he didn’t realize how unprofessional and inappropriate he has been acting, but it’s way more likely he’s consciously taking advantage of the fact that you’re his students to ‘joke’ in that way.”
“He’s getting a kick out of it, and has probably done to others before.”
“He deserves to be fired, you deserve to have a teacher who won’t think of porn while teaching you, as do all the other female students.”
“If you still struggle with this incident or the impact you reporting might have on him, please seek help for this, you don’t deserve to suffer more because of this vile man.”- LazyOpia
“NTA.”
“I tensed up reading your experience that day.”
“Jeez, for a teacher to think that that’s appropriate even in the slightest makes me sick.”- niran1599
“NTA.”
‘This isn’t a joke.”
“This is way over the line into sexual harassment.”- StringLiteral
“NTA.”
“Sexual abusers ‘laugh off’ their actions as ‘jokes’, make you feel like you’re the one who over-reacted, and continue this behavior over and over.”
“The saddest part of this is his pattern of behavior is probably long-standing, and even if they investigate and fire him, he probably won’t face criminal charges of any kind, so he will continue the behavior someplace else.”
“Never, ever just accept that someone is ‘weird’ or awkward if you feel uncomfortable with their behavior.”
“You DON’T have to be polite to keep from hurting their feelings.”
“It’s not a requirement that you put yourself in harm’s way to keep someone else from feeling bad about their actions.”- that_kindle_lady528
“NTA!”
“That’s beyond disgusting & I’m so sorry that happened to you.”- harrysgoldboot
“This is classic grooming.”
“Put a toe over the line, then another one, pretend it’s just a joke.”
“When nothing happens step right over the line.”
“Your friend is quite correct to go to his boss or higher.”
“The institution can’t afford to ignore what he’s doing.”- auntynell
“NTA.”
“Woah, totally unacceptable.”
“Very unprofessional.”
“You are right to report it.”
“Even though the results aren’t what you were looking for they are what’s needed.”
“He is an authoritative figure, no way should you feel guilty about how he handles himself.”
“What’s next for him, touching?”- LLPF2
“NTA.”
“This is outright sexual harassment.”
“It’s unacceptable for a teacher to make repeated sex jokes about his students, and it should be a firing offense for him to say ‘this made me think of you’ and show you porn.”
“This man should not have a teaching job ever again.”- thunder_brother_
“NTA.”
“He’s not going to get into trouble because of you, he’s going to get into trouble because of himself.”
“In absolutely no world I’d it ok for somebody to show you sexual images without your explicit consent, and that applies tenfold because he’s your teacher.”
“Please don’t let this affect your course or your self-worth in general, this is not your fault.”- a-punk-is-for-life
“NTA.”
“This is a person in a position of power they don’t get to make jokes like that.”- Spiffy_Tiffyy
“NTA.”
“That’s extremely inappropriate and should be reported.”- Rogues_Gambit
“How’s that a joke?”
“That’s gross, he shouldn’t be teaching.”
‘This is gonna continue happening with other female students if someone doesn’t report him.”
“You deserve safe space just like your male counterpart to learn in.”- Next-Concern
“NTA.”
“He is not getting in trouble because of you.”
“He is getting in trouble because of HIS actions.”- Semirhage527
“I want to be crystal clear: he is not getting in trouble because of you.”
“He is getting in trouble because of his completely unacceptable behavior.”
“Showing anyone porn in a work environment outside, I dunno, the literal porn industry maybe, is inappropriate behavior.”
“NTA and if he gets reprimanded or better yet fired, good.”- smuffleupagus
The OP later returned to thank everyone who had the time to comment on her rather difficult ordeal.
“I thought I’d post this because I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out the things I was feeling.”
“Never in my wildest dreams had I expected this much of a response.”
“Thank you all for your thoughts, upvotes, and the awards.”
“I’ve gathered some useful information and I feel better knowing that people support me, even though they’re strangers on the internet.”
“Thanks guys.”
It’s hard to imagine how anyone, let alone a teacher, could think showing a student pornography could be considered a joke.
Anyone who doesn’t see the harm in doing so is not fit to teach.
As many people have suggested, one also can’t help but wonder if the OP was the first person to find themself in such a situation with this teacher.
Making one all the more grateful for his dismissal.