A death in the family can be difficult to handle. If that wasn’t enough already, making plans for a funeral when you have to travel is even more stressful.
Redditor Tigerlillyfruit experienced that exact scenario last fall, and tried to get the time off work. However, their schedule still showed them working shifts, which led to an issue with the general manager and district manager.
The original poster (OP) isn’t sure if they reacted properly, and are asking the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about it.
Their question is:
“AITA for not letting my boss give me a warning?”
Their job has become difficult all around:
“This happened this fall, I don’t think am I the AH but my co-workers are telling me otherwise. So, I’m posting this to get an outside perspective on the whole situation.”
“Within the year we had seen three general store managers, in short, this store is a mess.
“My family is from out of country, thus when an emergency happens, we have make plans quickly. My uncle passed away due to the virus, we found out late about 11:00 pm that night.”
“The next day I told my GSM that my family had a passing, we didn’t have a day for the funeral yet, but I’ll need to take some days off and I’ll keep his updated. He thanked me, that was where we left it off for the next week.”
“As soon as my cousin told me when the funeral date was, my mother and I bought tickets and I told my GSM and the other managers at the café. Even texted them the days I won’t be available to work.”
“When said week schedule was posted tell me why the exact days I asked off, I was scheduled? The first thing I did was texted the GSM asking his why I was working on those days, he apologized and say it will be fixed and not to worry about it.”
OP thought this would be the end of it.
“Thinking everything was ordered my mother and I went to our home country buried my uncle. Why on the first day I returned to work my GSM tried to write me up for the missing days and not trying to find coverage, I refused to sign it.”
“For two reasons I’ve given him the date weeks in advance, two you said ‘I’ll it’ll be fixed and not to worry about’.”
“Ever since that encounter the GSM and I haven’t been in good standing with each others; the district manager had been coming to our café more often.”
“One day they called me into a meeting about my file, the DM asked me why I have an unsigned warning? Looking straight at my GSM I told the DM I wasn’t going to sign something that wasn’t my fault.”
“DM said it read ‘employee missed several days without calling in or attempting to find coverage’ calmly I told the DM that I asked for those days off because of a family emergency.”
“GSM seemed a bit smug seeing the DM about to chew me about, the DM asked if I had any proof I said ‘yes’ and pulled out my phone with all the text between the GSM and me. The DM read the messages and turned to look at my GSM, I was sent back to work.”
“The next day everyone had to sign a printout of the employee handbook the section was about asking for time off. Reading through it I stopped at one bullet point saying ‘if the employee has a family or health emergency it was up to GSM to find coverage.”
“But soon after the some of my co-workers started to give me the cold shoulder, saying I should have just sucked it up and take the warning. Because now the DM is down our GSM back making his stress thus making us stressed because he started to micromanage everything that’s going on in the café.”
“It’s making our whole workplace toxic, and no one is happy when GSM is on shift, I do feel bad and it’s getting to me now.”
On the AITA subReddit, users judge the poster and how they reacted in a situation. They may place fault with the poster, someone else in the story or no one at all.
This is done by including one of the following in their comment:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP did everything they could to ensure the GM has time to find coverage. The GM just didn’t, for whatever reason. On top of that, the GM tried to lay the blame on the employee instead of taking responsibility.
All of these reasons led to commenters voting OP as NTA.
“Absolutely NTA. The responsibility for a healthy work environment is on the GSM, not you. Good on you for saving those texts!” – cautiousoptimzm
“Absolutely this! The GSM did not do his job, and your co-workers just want to gripe and since you can’t fire them and the manager can, they’re griping at you.”
“I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. So many people let things go to ‘keep this peace’ but you did the right thing. It’ll blow over eventually (possibly even with your manager getting fired).”
“You know your worth, and you stand up for yourself. Be proud. Not everyone can do what you did. NTA” – AlwaysAlexi777
“NTA – The GSM tried to blame you because they failed to find coverage for an event that was a family emergency and you had proof that you had asked for those days off.”
“It sounds like the GSM is turning the rest of the store against you because they had to work even shorter staffed and GSM said it was your fault.”
“The handbook states that it was up to the GSM to find coverage. They should have done their job.” – EvocativeEnigma
“NTA. Start job hunting. Your GSM is very dishonest. First, in telling you it would be taken care of without doing it, second, by writing you up, and 3rd, by lying to the DM.”
“He’s going to hold this against you forever, and so might some of the other employees. So make plans to move on.” – Baldr_Torn
A lot of the responses commented about the coworkers being on the side of the GM.
They rationalized that they blamed OP since they could get in trouble for blaming the GM.
“NTA you followed company policy, and your manager said it would be taken care of, so it’s your manager’s fault. Your coworkers are just frustrated that the manager is making life difficult.”
“They are blaming you because they have no power over the manager.”
“While it isn’t your fault I would see if transferring to a different location or just finding a new job all together is an option. If this happened in the fall of last year and it’s still an issue then it will continue to be an issue as long as you or the manager work there.”
“Perhaps talking to your district manager but I doubt that will do much if it’s been going on so long. Good luck, stay safe.” – UnderachieverDreamer
“Yeah.. OPs coworkers I think don’t care for fair or who is really wrong here.”
“OP is the safest target for them to take the frustration out and thats what they do and OP needs to think about themself first here. No one needs such toxity.” – Llayanna
“‘Our GM is now treating us unfairly because you stood up for yourself’ sounds like another reason they should go talk to the DM??”
“If they want to want to walk on eggshells and be pushed around sure whatever but it’s not on you to help them keep that going. NTA” – ladyk1487
OP didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s looking like they’ll have to do something about it. Either finding a new job, or bringing this up to the DM again.
Maybe one day, the GM will learn what it means to have responsibility.