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Teen Livid When Dad Refuses To Go Buy Her More Tampons Because His Arthritis Is Flaring Up

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For anyone who has experienced a menstruation cycle, we can sympathize with how tough it is to get through.

That includes the discomfort and pain of the cycle, and let’s not forget the additional products we have to keep in the house.

If we forget to replenish our supply, the results can be disastrous, stressed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor Commercial-Layer-339 was stressing about getting more products right away, though her father felt unable to drive.

When she heard what her dad said she was asking him of, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was in the wrong for asking.

She asked the sub: 

“AITA for ‘demanding’ that my dad buy me tampons?”

The OP needed more tampons for her period.

“Earlier today I (14 [female]) got my period, and unfortunately, I only had one more tampon left over because I forgot to get more, and I obviously needed more.”

“I was having some pretty bad cramps, so I didn’t wanna walk and obviously I can’t drive.”

“So I went to my dad and asked him to get me some.”

Her dad wasn’t able to get them immediately.

“My dad has arthritis and apparently he got a bad flare up so he didn’t wanna do it.”

“I asked him to twice and he told me that ‘demanding’ wouldn’t make him do it any faster, which just made me angry.”

“I decided to ask my brother (12 [male]) but apparently he’s too young to walk to the store by himself.”

When she kept asking, her father called her out. 

“Then I went to my dad and told him that he needed to get me tampons, but he snapped at me and told me to give him a minute and to stop being a brat and demanding things, even though I hadn’t demanded anything.”

“But he’s annoyed at me now and I guess I just want opinions from people who aren’t biased.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some rated the situation as NAH, because they were both in pain.

“During an arthritis flare-up, as well as soreness / fatigue / stiffness joints can become incredibly stiff making movement difficult.”

“Neither situation is ideal. Neither person can help it.”

“She can’t be mad at him for not responding quickly in a flare-up.”

“Life with an ill parent is not fair. She needs to step up.”Limp-Muffin3003

“I have arthritis and get migraines, there are absolutely situations where it would be unsafe to drive.”

“This situation happened to me a couple of weeks back, my daughter who is 16 was visiting (she doesn’t live with me), on day 4 she got her period and hadn’t brought anything with her. 16 makes her an adult here.”

“She had tampons I’d bought for in the past in my house and access to a pile of period pants, but if there hadn’t been she’d have had to cope somehow for at least a couple of hours, I could have found her some old towels, but the one thing I couldn’t do was drive to a store due to exactly where I was in a migraine.”annekh510

“Arthritis is extremely debilitating so I can understand him not being able to move right the instant that OP asked for the tampons. She could have been a bit more patient.”

“Her dad probably needed to take pain medicine and wait for it to start working before being able to move. NAH.”Crisafael

Others said the OP was sort of the AH because of her lack of patience. 

“According to OP, this all happened in only ten minutes, which to me makes her the a**hole.”

“Edit: would like to add that I’m a woman in my thirties, and have been having periods (really bad ones) since I was eleven. Still think OP’s the a** for being so impatient when her dad is also in pain.”roxxxystar

“But he has arthritis and he was going through a flare-up. Yeah, he signed up to be a parent but he didn’t sign up to get arthritis.”

“She’s old enough to realize that he was also in pain and not ask so many times in the span of TEN MINUTES. Especially if he didn’t tell her no. He just said to give him a minute until I’m guessing the meds kick in.”Glittering_Bother994

“I know kids are starting younger these days and I guess you might need to do differently if your kids have precocious puberty, but in general, 12+ can be responsible for their supplies, not necessarily paying for it, but making sure the right stuff gets bought.”

“The girl is saying that she forgot so it sounds like in her family it was her responsibility. She also said she didn’t want to walk, not couldn’t.”

“If you coddle kids they will have a shock when they turn 18, go to college, whatever.”annekh510

One Redditor, in particular, pointed out that the dad’s pain needed to be prioritized. 

“It sounds like OP had money from dad to buy pads or tampons, but didn’t want to go to the store herself because she had cramps. She wanted dad to go for her since she was uncomfortable.”

“But dad was also uncomfortable/in pain. He had a ‘bad flare-up’ of his arthritis which meant he was in a good amount of pain and maybe couldn’t even go right then. Like how physically capable of going was he at that moment?”

“OP’s also wording ‘because I forgot to get more’ makes it sounds like she is given money and this is normally her responsibility to buy. So she forgot to do one of her responsibilities (which happens to everyone, no judgment there), and didn’t want to do it now since that would be uncomfortable for her, so her disabled father should do it while his disability is acting up and he is in pain instead.”

“That does seem selfish to me. I know cramps vary per person so my experience may not apply to hers, but I’ve walked with unfun cramps before. As have most woman I know.”

“Unless Op has something wrong with her, it seems most likely that OP was more capable of getting her pads than her father was during a major flare-up of his arthritis.”

“Personally, there is no way I’d try to force a disabled person in a painful flare-up of their disability to go get my pads for me that I was supposed to buy just so I wouldn’t have to walk with cramps. Because odds are, dad was having it a lot rougher than OP, and she dosen’t seem to even consider that his pain matters too?”TheHatOnTheCat

Though the OP was certain she was not wrong for asking her dad to get her tampons, the subReddit thought it was more complicated than that.

Of course it wasn’t wrong for her to ask for more supplies, or to even ask her dad to drive, but she probably should have shown her father a little more empathy in his own moment of need.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.