Receiving homemade presents and treats from family and friends on your birthday can be a nice surprise. Knowing they spent time carefully crafting something just for you can make it feel all the more special.
But if you were expecting one thing only to be disappointed, is it rude to be honest about your feelings?
Redditor AITA-birthday-cake was recently gifted a surprise from her young cousin that she didn’t care for, and the resulting fallout left her conflicted.
So she turned to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) to see if she was in the wrong, asking:
“AITA for throwing out a birthday cake that was made for me?”
The original poster (OP) explained why her expectations were so high going into the day.
“Last week was my (17F[emale]) and my twin brother’s birthday.”
“Our family wanted to throw us a small party and we thought it’d be a great idea since we’ve hardly gotten to see anyone in our extended family for the last year.”
“I was particularly excited because our aunt owns a bakery and makes the most delicious cakes and I wasn’t able to get one last year.
But the OP was in for an unexpected surprise.
“The day of the party comes and my family members arrive. My aunt comes up to me and my brother with her daughter, Averi (9F), in tow.”
“Both my aunt and Averi have a small box in their hands and Averi is absolutely beaming. My aunt says, ‘Here are your cakes! I hope you like them!’ and Averi immediately chimes in ‘And I made yours OP!'”
“When my brother opens his box there’s the world’s most beautiful white chocolate cake.”
“Absolutely supreme work by my aunt, it’s even got raspberry filling. My brother’s favorite. I couldn’t wait to see mine.”
That’s when she realized her cousin wasn’t exaggerating.
“Needless to say when I opened my box I was quite disappointed. When Averi said that she made the cake she meant it.”
“I don’t think my aunt had any involvement with my cake at all and it showed. The cake was lopsided, the icing noticeably uneven, and looked like it was decorated by a blind and/or drunk monkey that had access to sprinkles.”
“To be nice I took a bite. Lemon favor, which I detest. Even if it were a flavor that I liked it was dry and could barely qualify as edible.”
“I set it aside, hugged and thanked my cousin for the cake, and continued with the party despite my disappointment.”
Later, the OP’s aunt called to ask how she liked her cake, and the OP didn’t mince words.
“After the party was over my aunt and mom were talking on the phone and my aunt asked to speak with me. She asked me what did I think about the cake and I was brutally honest.”
“I told my aunt that I couldn’t eat the cake and had to throw it out and that I wished she had made a cake for both my brother and I and just let Averi have her little side project.”
Little did she know, however, that her cousin could hear every harsh criticism.
“Unfortunately my aunt had put me on speakerphone so that my cousin could hear my answer and I gave the worst answer possible.”
“Now Averi doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and my aunt and mom are upset with me.”
“My brother called me and a** and said I should have just said I liked the cake but how was I supposed to know my aunt would put me on speakerphone like that?”
“Was I the a**hole Reddit?”
Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
They assured the OP she was NTA—but her aunt certain was for a variety of reasons.
“NTA. Your aunt is the a** for putting you on speaker without giving you a warning that your cousin was listening in. You weren’t deliberately hurtful.”—Smilla-vins
“If you have someone on speakerphone, you always lead with that – ‘hey, I’ve got you on speaker and Averi’s here with me.'”
“If you don’t do that, any inappropriate comments heard by Averi are 100% your fault. The aunt is an a**.”—EchoKiloEcho1
“Favorite speakerphone warning ‘Don’t swear, you’re on the air!'”
“Aunt should have warned you.”
“And a birthday isn’t an appropriate time to share out your child’s first baked goods. Probably not their second or third try either.”—ohblessyerheart
“Her aunt is also an a** for making a cake for one sibling and not the other. I get that technically her daughter made the other one but come on, that was barely edible.”—bAkedbeAnmAster
“Your aunt should have:”
- “not given cakes of such unequal quality”
- “not put you on speaker without at least warning you”
- “had Averi ‘help’ make both cakes, rather than let her do one on her own.”—Aromatic-Ice-968
“You were not given equal treatment as your twin brother.”
“And your aunt is TA for having you on speakerphone without your consent.”—Lucyfiir
After receiving some comments, the OP added an edit to her post in defense of her aunt’s decision to let her cousin make the cake, saying:
“Hi everyone! I appreciate all of your comments but I feel like some of you guys are being way too hard on my aunt.”
“If there was any favoritism going on here it would be from my cousin. I’m her only female cousin and I’m always down to do little girl stuff with her like tea parties and doing each other’s hair.”
“I really think that Averi just really wanted my cake to be truly from her more than my aunt thinking that my brother is some sort of golden child.”
“Also, my aunt’s baking is the real deal. Her bakery has been on TV before so one of these personal cakes is a legitimate gift on its own.”
“She always makes them for family and close friends for birthdays and anniversaries and other events.”
Many commenters agreed with that sentiment.
“I have a feeling this stemmed from Averi being a child and having a tantrum. If she’s anything like my nieces were when they were little, she probably idolizes her cousin and wanted to bake her a cake.”
“Ensuing child tantrum about not wanting adult help and how it’s for OP only. Aunt probably gave in.”
“I bet she called and was going to fess up, but got her panties in a twist when OP was honest.”
“Adults tend to think that the feelings of little kids matter more over teenagers and somehow teenagers should have adult reactions when they’re hurt.”—GeekCat
“I think if she had let Avery decorate the cakes with sprinkles or something the aunt had cooked maybe that would have been cute?”
“I bet Averi wanted to make them for her favorite cousin and that’s adorable but oh, the speakerphone bit how sad.”—Creative-Training175
“Averi seems capable of a lot more than decorating with sprinkles! All things considered, her cake doesn’t sound *that bad* for something produced by a nine year old.”
“She just needed more guidance and supervision. I bet it would have turned out fine if they’d made the cakes together.”—_littlestranger
Now that her cousin has been offended, the OP might miss out in the future.
“You’re 100% correct that sprinkles were too easy assuming she’s 9 as OP states and has been watching/helping her Mom long enough. That doesn’t mean a 9-year-old is capable of running a bakery though.”
“Where OP screwed up is not humbly saying that Averi’s cake was the real deal. That it was the best of the best.”
“OP is only 17 so she didn’t realize this is about the long con… that 9-year-old’s gonna be pumping out some top notch cakes in a few years and now she hates OP.”
“By the time OP was 25 she was gonna have banging cakes all the time. It was gonna be a cake fiesta.. a cake extravaganza!!!”—Isabela_Grace
So while it’s debatable whether the aunt was in the wrong for allowing her daughter to bake a cake, putting the OP on speakerphone without her knowledge was a huge no-no.
But sometimes that’s how the cake crumbles. You live, you learn.