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Teen Called ‘Selfish’ For Refusing To Give Her Taylor Swift Tickets To Cousin As A Wedding Gift

Teen girl shocked at wedding
Darren Robb/Getty Images

Anyone who has recently wanted to attend a concert will agree that tickets are much more expensive and difficult to come-by than they used to be.

But faulting someone for receiving tickets when you didn’t surely isn’t the way to go, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

At her cousin’s wedding, Redditor vigilante_s**t_13 was shocked when her cousin tried to convince her to give him her Taylor Swift ticket for his new wife.

But when he went so far as to publicly shame her for not giving it to him, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she should have just complied.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for refusing to give my cousin-in-law my Taylor Swift tickets?”

The OP was excited about attending the next Taylor Swift concert.

“I (17 Female) recently got Taylor Swift tickets for her ‘Era’ Tour. Now, as you probably know, it was very difficult to get these tickets and I actually waited 5+ hours in the Ticketmaster queue to get them.”

“I’ve loved Taylor Swift since I was two years old.”

The concert recently came up at the OP’s cousin’s wedding.

“My cousin, ‘John’ (29 Male) recently got married to his wife ‘Jane’ (27 Female) and I attended the wedding with my parents.”

“At the wedding, another cousin of mine asked me whether or not I got tickets and I excitedly said yes.”

“John overheard and pulled me aside and asked me if there was any chance I’d be willing to give my ticket to his wife as she also tried to get tickets but didn’t manage to get any.”

“I said that I waited a long time to get my ticket and that I didn’t want to give it up because, as he knows, I love Taylor Swift and I’m really excited about going to the concert with my friends.”

“He seemed disappointed but ultimately walked away. I went back to my table and thought nothing of it.”

The OP was placed in an awkward position.

“Then John and Jane had their first dance, which was to Taylor Swift’s ‘Lover.'”

“At the end of the dance, he got the microphone and told everyone at the wedding that I had so kindly decided to give Jane my Taylor Swift ticket as a wedding gift.”

“Jane started crying and said I was the best cousin ever and that I made her wedding day ten times better.”

“I stood there in shock, and I asked if I could speak to her in private, but she brushed me off. I tried to talk to John too, but he ignored me.”

The OP was then accused of ruining the happy couple’s day.

“My whole family kept coming up to me and saying how mature I was for giving my ticket to Jane and how it was the perfect way to welcome her to the family.”

“I told them that I never said I’d give her my ticket and I was planning on keeping it and going with my friends as I had originally planned.”

“Word got back to John, and Jane actually started sobbing, saying that I was selfish for not giving her my ticket. She said that since I didn’t get her a wedding gift, the least I could do is give her my ticket.”

“I stood my ground and said that I did not owe her anything.”

“John then said that I’d already seen one of Taylor’s concerts before and that Jane hasn’t so it was only fair that I give her my ticket.”

“I said that I understand that it was really frustrating to wait in that queue only to not get tickets, but it wasn’t my job to make sure that Jane did. I pointed out that if they were patient, the scalper prices might go down by the show and she might be able to snag tickets then.”

“John screamed at me to leave and said that I ruined his wedding.”

The OP was barraged with messages from her family.

“Some of my family has been messaging me saying I’m a selfish b***h for ruining Jane’s wedding and I should’ve waited until after the wedding to tell her that I wasn’t giving her my ticket.”

“Others, including my parents, agree that I had no obligation to give up my ticket.”

“I hate conflict though and a part of me wonders whether I should’ve just let her have the ticket.”

“So am I the a**hole?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some confirmed that the OP was not wrong for wanting to hold onto her ticket.

“NTA. John was trying to pull a fast one and thought he could bully you into giving up your ticket. Good for you for standing fast.”

“He picked the venue to announce, and you wanted to correct it right away. I don’t blame you for that. He ruined his own wedding.” – corgwin

“They are not only immature but crazy. This is actually insane behavior from an adult. It is so so so weird that upon hearing someone got a ticket to a concert to ask for said concert ticket. Who would ever do that?”

“And then it just goes from bad to worse. ‘Hey, my 17-year-old cousin doesn’t want to give me her cherished concert tickets for free. I better stand up at my OWN WEDDING and lie to everyone in an attempt to publicly manipulate her into giving it to me. Oh, what’s that? She’s weirded out and still doesn’t want to give me her concert ticket? I better team up with my brand new wife to scream and curse at a minor.'”

“I’m genuinely not joking, are they mentally sound?” – lordliv

“OP, whenever this is brought up by family, use the words ‘bullying’ and the phrase ‘bullying a minor.'”

“Don’t let a sentence go by in which you don’t mention that he announced that after asking and hearing you say no.” – natasharevolution

“OP, don’t let them bully you into it. Yes, it is frustrating, but you waited in line for five hours!”

“It does not matter if Jane did or not, she just did not get the tickets. Maybe she can get tickets via someone else but not through you.”

“Go to the concert yourself! And don’t talk about this anymore with anyone because they might want you to doubt yourself. You are not obligated to do anything for them.”

“John is really an AH and Jane got so lucky by marrying someone who is so manipulative.” – Pollythepony1993

“NTA, your ticket, not your obligation. Also, they’re really mean for making it like you did give her the ticket thinking you wouldn’t call them out.” – LolathaFoxccoon

“He obviously was trying to pressure you into giving. Good for saying no. Enjoy the show and the lack of relationship with this part of the family.”

“Also, have fun!!” – journeyintopressure

“Asking her to ‘gift’ the ticket as well, like what the f**k? He didn’t even offer to buy it off her at cost, or with a bit extra on top to make it a good deal.”

“He tried to publicly extort (AKA steal) the ticket from his minor niece, after being told no to his ‘gift’ idea, through manipulation and peer pressure. What an AH.”

“I’d be calling this out in detail, the entire chain of events, and shaming him publicly until they all b**ger off.” – Ok-Beginning-5922

“I’m the same age as John and I LOVE Taylor. I would never try to bully a teenager into giving me a ticket. H**k, if it was my cousin, I’d probably even give her some money so she could buy merch at the concert!”

“Also, I cannot imagine expecting a wedding present from a 17-year-old. Let alone something this expensive???” – infieldcookie

“I feel like I need to say this only because you are young and may have never heard it: it doesn’t matter how much you love Taylor Swift. The reality is that you could hate Taylor Swift with an undying passion and still not be obligated to give up your ticket.”

“Your right to keep your property is not predicated on how much you like it. It’s enough that it is your property. Your degree of love for Taylor Swift is irrelevant to your right to not be bullied into giving something away.”

“You did the right thing in this situation! I’m not saying you didn’t, at all. I just don’t want you to find yourself in a situation in the future where you are trying to justify why you don’t want to give up your (ticket, jacket, shoes, house, car, etc.) to someone else and trying to convince them that you love it super hard.”

“You don’t have to convince anyone of anything. Your property is your property, full stop.”

“Saying ‘I love this thing and that’s the reason I won’t give it to you’ is the same as saying ‘If I loved it less, I would totally give it to you,’ and that’s an invitation for them to try to negotiate you out of your property by claiming they love it more than you do. Don’t open that can of worms!” – PlanningVigilante

After receiving feedback, the OP shared a heartfelt update.

“Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone for all the kind words and the support I’ve received. It’s been incredible to see so many people stand up for me and it honestly means a lot.”

“I listened to you guys and told my parents the severity of some of the messages I’ve received from some people on that side of the family, and they’re p**sed. They didn’t realize how bad they were until they saw them, and my dad reached out to John and said that he was out of line and that he was disappointed that his own nephew would do something like this to his daughter.”

“My mom told my aunt and uncle that unless I got an apology, their entire branch of the family (which were the main people who were giving me a hard time) would be uninvited to our annual Christmas party we host at our house each year.”

“John didn’t really say anything back except that he wouldn’t apologize for trying to do right by his wife.”

“Jane, on the other hand, did end up getting tickets for face value. Ticketmaster sent out a way for some fans who didn’t get tickets to be able to request two tickets to the show they were not able to get tickets for. Jane ended up getting two tickets and posted them on Facebook with no mention of what happened at the wedding. I’m hoping since Jane got her tickets, she’s over it now.”

“John is very stubborn and can’t seem to ever admit when he’s wrong, so I doubt I can fix that relationship, which honestly makes me sad, I really don’t want any bad blood between us.”

Not only was the subReddit frustrated on the OP’s behalf, but they surely hoped that the situation would diffuse, now that the OP’s parents were involved and Jane had purchased the tickets she wanted.

It’s unbelievable what can cause a rift in a family sometimes, but add a big scene like the first dance at a wedding, and it’s basically a guaranteed disaster.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.