Vacations usually turn into work when young kids are involved.
At least that’s usually the case for Redditor No_Writing9686 and her sister’s young kids.
A recent vacation attempt drove the Original Poster (OP) to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for “losing” my passport to avoid babysitting on my vacation?”
She went on to explain.
“I [Female age 17] still live at home. My sister [age 28] is married and has two kids [ages 5 and 3].”
“Whenever she comes over to visit my parents and her stick me with the kids.”
“This wouldn’t be a problem except she doesn’t visit for an evening. She will come for a week. And for that week I’m an unpaid nanny.”
“If we go out to a restaurant I have to entertain them because my mom needs to talk to my sister and BIL.”
“You get the picture.”
“My parents decided that since this was my last summer before I became an adult we would be going to Disneyland to celebrate my graduation.”
“I asked who was going and they said it was just the three of us.”
“But when we got to the airport my sister and her family were there. Strangely enough they were also going to Disneyland.”
“I went into my backpack and grabbed my passport. I put it in my sock.”
“When we got to the international security I couldn’t find it. We looked everywhere. I had to Uber home and I missed my flight.”
“Oh well. I get to stay home by myself for a week of peace and quiet.”
“My parents were very mad at me for losing my passport. The money they spent on my flight and entrance was wasted. Darn.”
“My mom and sister have both been posting about how hard it is to be at Disneyland with two little ones. They both posted that I ruined the vacation by being so thoughtless.”
“My dad says he knows why I did and he understands. But he says I should have let him know so he didn’t waste money. He said he would have gone along with my ruse.”
“I feel bad about wasting money but I have been to Disneyland before. And I will go again later by myself or with friends.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA. But if they posted on social media say ‘wait. I ruined the vacation because I was supposed to help with the kids or take care of them myself? So this wasn’t about me?’” – poorladlemonadestand
“NTA this 100 percent! Call them out on this! This was definitely planned.”
“When dad mentions knowing what you did and you should have warned him. Tell him strange things like this happen like your sister showing up on-a vacation for the three of you?”
“Start saying no. Start having plans. Get a job when your sister show up volunteer to work a lot that week until you have money to move out.”
“If parents can’t take care of the kids they have then don’t have them.! Parents need to realize their siblings are not free nanny’s. It isn’t their sibling’s responsibility to offer any kind of child care.”
“No wonder siblings no longer want to be fun aunts and. Uncles because they are expected to be childcare on demand!” – gramsknows
“NtA”
“But if your dad figured out what you did and understands why, he should advocate for you and tell your mom & sister that your function on earth is not to serve as your sister’s babysitter and that you are done babysitting and to ask you to anymore” – Gladtobealive2020
“NTA.”
“Was going to Disneyland for *your* graduation even your idea? Or was it some kind of way for your sister to take her kids when she could have free babysitting?”
“I’m honestly really disgusted by the way people take advantage of others, especially girls and women, for free babysitting.” – sorahatch
“NTA”
“‘My dad says he knows why I did, and he understands. But he says I should have let him know so he didn’t waste money. He said he would have gone along with my ruse.’”
“It would have been easier if he had warned you your sister would be there… They taught you how to lie to get your way. Can’t blame you for learning what they show you.” – StarNightLynx
“NTA. Next time dear old sis shows up on your doorstep, have a bag packed and ready to go and see if you can go to a friend’s or family member’s house while she’s there.”
“If that isn’t possible, lock yourself in your room and only come out to use the restroom and eat, then immediately lock yourself back in…they’ll get the hint…” – Obsidiannight2010
“NTA. They tried to trick you into something unpleasant, and it blew up in their faces. Maybe next time they won’t lie to you to manipulate you into being their unpaid nanny.”
“Or they can stop pretending they want you to be part of the family and hire the onsite help they need to provide for their favorite.”
“It will be funnier still if you tell them you found your passport after you got home, and it was in your sock.” – FeedbackCreative8334
“NTA, you were lied to about the trip being for you. You knew were going to be used as a babysitter when you saw your sister at the airport, too.”
“Your father shouldn’t have gone along with the lie if he didn’t want to waste money. They ruined their own vacation for being liars and trying to use you.” – CharliAP
“NTA – and while Dad talks a good game now, he doesn’t get any brownie points for having left you to be the unpaid babysitter all these years with no backup and no support.”
“He’s just as culpable in that whole mess as your mother and sister. He can consider those “unnecessary” payments he made a tax for being a jerk.” – Dipping_My_Toes
“At first I was going to say YTA – that you should have set boundaries and been clear about your frustrations a long time ago.”
“But then I saw the trickery, and then your mom publicly ranted on social about you “ruining” the trip. You win. Definitely NTA.”
“Your mom and sister (but especially your mom) need a wake-up call. If they want you to babysit, you should be compensated.”
“You should also have a right to say no. This whole situation is awfully unfair to you.” – TheRationalPlanner
“NTA. Their response in complaining about it being hard to deal with the kids and blaming you for “ruining” the vacation (by not being there?) is telling.”
“They tried to scam you into being an unpaid babysitter instead of enjoying your vacation.”
“Tell your dad that if you had been given notice that going on the vacation would mean being expected to spend the whole time babysitting, you could have given him notice that you wouldn’t be going.”
“But because they chose to blindside you, you had to think fast to get out of having a miserable time on a trip that was pitched to you as being for you, not for your sister.”
“And that he needs to take his complaint up with your sister and mother for putting you in that position, because you would have gone if you’d actually been able to enjoy the trip, and money would not have been wasted.”
“They’re absolutely a**holes for baiting you with the promise of “celebrating your graduation” while plotting to dump the childcare work on you again.” – RedshiftSinger
“NTA You asked who was going on the trip in order to avoid this exact situation. They lied, so you improvised.”
“Sounds like you’re having a better week. If you feel exceptionally generous, you could offer to repay them some amount, but I wouldn’t feel obligated to do that.” – ExRiverFish4557
“NTA. Your father deserves to take the monetary hit for not standing up for you in the first place. Your parents are AHs for allowing this nonsense.”
“Never again babysit unless you 1) agree to, and 2) are paid. And, please learn now that “No” is a complete sentence.” – badpandacat
“NTA”
“If your dad were really supportive of you, he would have told you about your sister going. Your parents lied to you about that. The wasted money is not your fault. It’s theirs.”
“Tell your dad it sucks he wasted money on your ticket, but you couldn’t have told him ahead of time because he didn’t tell you ahead of time about your sister going” – lizzy_pop
“NTA and PLEASE tell your family THEY ruined YOUR graduation trip by trying to dump unpaid labor on you instead of letting you enjoy yourself.”
“Make it extremely clear how unfair they’re being by constantly exploiting you and refuse point blank to do any more free labor until they agree to spread the workload so that everyone pulls their fair share and it isn’t all dumped on you.” – bitofagrump
I would bet the cost of the OP’s missed trip was substantially less than if she had been paid for all her years of babysitting.