What’s in a name? Well, apparently for some people, a lot.
For those who believe in mystical things like astrology and numerology, seemingly innocuous things can effect the very fabric of your being—even your name.
So when Redditor michelletheory recently butted heads with her numerologist mother over her name, she turned to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) to see if she was in the wrong.
“AITA for not letting my mom change my name?”
The original poster (OP) explained her mom’s obsession.
“So my mother is super into numerology. It’s the study for numbers and its coinciding events.”
“She believes in it while I personally don’t because it’s never been proven to work. She’s taken a few classes and is now a certified numerologist.”
“Now, she’s making everyone in my family wear random bracelets, wear specific colors and such to ‘balance our chakras’ and ‘bring in good vibrations’. I didn’t have a problem with this because it isn’t that big a deal.”
Things have recently taken a turn, however.
“But now she’s making me change my name and personality so that it fits her idea of what a good person should be according to numerology (there are specific numbers associated with your name and those numbers in turn affect your personality).”
“She wants me to write this new name multiple times a day and change it on official records (passports, ID cards etc), and that’s too much of a hassle.”
After the OP rejected the idea, her mom melted down.
“Being so annoyed and fed up with it, I told her politely that I wouldn’t do all this because I don’t believe in it.”
“She threw a big fit saying I was never going to graduate with good grades, get into uni or get a job because I didn’t change my name and ultimately struggle so much in life that I wasn’t going to go anywhere.”
“Obviously, I was very upset when she said my life would be a failure and so I went to my room and kind of distanced myself from her.”
“She then threw another tantrum saying I never listen to anything she has to suggest (which is false I’m Asian so my mom is VERY involved in my life) and saying this is going to make my life better.”
“I chose to ignore her and now she’s acting all sad and grumpy and telling my little brother what a useless and bad sister I am which made me feel like TA.”
“But am I TA?”
She later edited her post to clarify a few things about her mom and her culture.
“Many people say that she wants to change my name after she was the one that gave it to me—she wasn’t aware of numerology when I was born, hence her trying to change my name now when I’m almost an adult.”
“And also for those who think I posted this post for validation, please know I was raised in a very strict Asian household that deemed any backtalk to your parents as extremely rude and so I thought I was being TA here because of that.”
Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
They didn’t blame the OP for not wanting to change her name.
“NTA. As delicately as I can put this, I think your mom has issues that she needs to work out.”—CordellCarl
“NTA, your name is a big thing to you and you are well within your rights to not change your name to one that *has good vibes*.”
“Hope your mum can soon see she’s going overboard but it might be best to avoid/not engage like you’re currently doing for a while!”—Chuggacheep
“Definitely NTA. It’s nice that she cares so much and wants you to have a good life but you obviously don’t need to change your name for that to happen.”—runademic
“NTA – This is no different than any other form of religious bullying.”