Redditor ThrowAway-52672 is a wife and mother to a 15-year-old daughter who is in her rebellious stage and does not have a very close relationship with her father.
The Redditor’s 52-year-old husband is legally blind and has felt guilty about not being able to bond with their daughter over her passion for sports due to his limited physical capabilities.
One night, drama ensued as the family was getting ready to leave the house for a rare dinner outing.
The mother reacted in a way that prompted her to visit the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and ask:
“AITA for punishing my daughter this way for what she told her blind dad?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband Rod is legally blind. He is not completely blind, but close. It’s not a genetic issue, but a brain injury that happened when he was a baby.”
“Rod is completely independent, but needs a little bit of help for reading small letters, cooking, typing on a computer, etc. Rod, in my opinion, is a great father and husband.”
“My daughter Reina has always been a little resentful of Rod. Growing up, she didn’t have the ‘normal’ father-daughter experience.”
“Reina has always been into sports, but because of Rod’s incapacity to engage in physical activity that involves coordination, they were never able to bond over that, and Reina never ‘forgave’ Rod for it.”
“My husband feels especially guilty about this.”
“Reina is going through her ‘angsty’ teenager phase. She has been acting out, is rude with everyone, especially my husband. Reina likes upsetting Rod and he never defends himself, so he’s the perfect victim.”
“We were going on our first family outing since the global [pandemic] started. To go out, Rod uses this big, chunky glasses that make his eyes look huge, almost like a caricature.”
“My husband is super insecure of his appearance when he uses them and our family knows it. My daughter comes downstairs and with the most offended tone of voice she says ‘Oh my God, dad! Are you trying to embarrass me? Your eyes look horrendous with those glasses on.'”
“I was pissed. I canceled the outing and told her to go to her room and to not come out until dinner time.”
“Reina is big into her appearance. She wears colored, graduated contacts because, ironically, she needs to wear glasses, but she hates to wear them.”
“She isn’t uncomfortable wearing them, or gets any headaches, she just doesn’t like how she looks with glasses on. As a punishment, Reina will not be allowed to wear contacts for a month.”
“I told Reina about her punishment and she is tremendously mad at me. She has a party in a week, and since the punishment is for a month, Reina will attend the party with glasses on.”
“She’s also returning back to in-person classes so she will attend school wearing glasses. She says that she will apologize to Rod and will never disrespect him again, but I don’t believe her.”
“Rod chimed in and said that maybe the punishment is way too harsh, but I don’t think so. Reina then called me names and locked herself in her bedroom.”
“Rod says that I’m being way too hard on Reina, and bordering AH territory, which is why I’m here.”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“This seems like a proportionate reaction to me. She intentionally made a hurtful comment about someone’s appearance.”
“As punishment she is not permitted to use something that enhances her appearance to herself, but she will still be able to function normally without. NTA” – Sailor_Mercurial
“I feel like at 15 YO you should be understanding enough to not mock Disabilities, especially considering she has grown up with OPs husband and has seen how it effects him.”
“If this was me at that age I knew saying my parents embarrassed me would have hurt them, so mad a conscious effort not to say it and defended my own disabled relatives when needed.”
“What happened to the whole ‘self love’ generation?” – WtfsGoinOnwrldsgnmad
“She’s so lucky to have him, wish she could realise that, it’s sad that kids only realise how awful they are when they’re adults.”
“I do think that volunteering or working closely with the blind and their families might give her insight and she can realise how awful she is to him, bless him.”
“Its not fair on you playing bad cop all of the time either, that’s why I suggested her punishment being something constructive rather than being a resentful teenager who has been forced to feel embarrassed in front of her peers at such a delicate age.”
“We have all been there and been mortified when you’re not accepted with the ‘in’ crowd.” – lj121980
“NTA I’m sorry but this is really good for you to teach your daughter lesson because she should not be disrespecting her father.”
“If you let her get away with something like this she’ll think it’s fine to do it in the future good on you for teaching your daughter morals and respect.” – 25atria
“I think your punishment was appropriate, but she’s probably going to sneak around it. I agree that your husband is favoring her in an effort to atone for his imagined sins, and that’s not healthy.”
“I agree that your daughter was cruel to stab at a very sore spot as well.”
“Please, PLEASE get some counseling/therapy for your family and daughter. She is at an extremely important part in her development and needs to be taught how to be comfortable with and properly identify her emotions and then how express them in a healthy way.”
“She needs to be taught healthy boundaries and what healthy relationships look like. I am in no way saying or implying that your relationships are unhealthy or you’ve taught her bad habits.”
“Only that at this point in her development, learning by watching you isn’t enough and she needs all the information she can get. Good luck.”
“Last thought: as an alternative to the contacts thing as punishment, maybe you could come up with some interview questions for Dad and have her interview him, or she could shadow him for a day, and write a brief essay about a day in his life.”
“Or maybe a brief essay on blind people and the challenges they’ve overcome historically. Something like that. An injection of reality, and empathy might be just the thing.” – ErisInChains
Overall, Redditors agreed Reina’s behavior towards her father was unkind.
They also believed that she should not whine about her punishment to wear glasses in front of her peers since it is akin to a slap on the wrist.