If there’s anything children should always be able to rely on, it’s their parent’s love and support.
This doesn’t mean that children won’t occasionally upset or frustrate their parents by their behavior or actions.
Even so, what no one realizes until they become an adult, perhaps even after becoming a parent themself, is that most of the time, a parent’s anger towards their children still comes from a place of love.
In very sad and unfortunate circumstances however, this isn’t the case.
Redditor MysteriousScene4454 was born with a speech impediment.
A speech impediment that brought endless frustrations to the original poster (OP)’s parents, despite the fact that he had no control over it at all.
When the OP’s impediment got in the way of his correctly pronouncing one particular name, his parent’s finally reached their breaking point, resulting in the OP finally needing to stand up for himself.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my parents it’s unfair to blame me for not saying my new sister’s name correctly?”
The OP explained why he finally felt the need to stand up for himself against his parents:
“I (16 M[ale]) have speech issues.”
“I have a stutter and I also have trouble making certain sounds as well.”
“I did speech therapy when I was younger and I’m better than I was but still can’t say some things correctly.”
“I was my parents only child until now.”
“My mom is pregnant with my baby sister.”
“And they chose her name which is something I can’t say correctly.”
“The name is Michelle.”
“I have a lot of trouble with the ‘chell’ part and I don’t say words like shell right either.”
“My parents are really frustrated by it and they are saying I’m doing it intentionally because I don’t like the fact it’s a traditional name.”
“They used the fact I want to change my name to say I’m being intentionally difficult.”
“It hurts.”
“They know I always struggled with this but now it’s a great big issue.”
“My stutter got worse because of the stress of my parents and now the name sounds even worse out of my mouth which angers them more.”
“But I’m not doing it intentionally.”
“I worked so hard for so long on the sounds.”
“My (maternal) grandparents spoke in my defense but mom told them to shut up and said they were encouraging me.”
“She was already pissed because they offered to pay for me to change my name.”
“My mom said it was so wrong and this was just another way for them to undermine her and my dad as my parents.”
“This led to me telling my parents it’s unfair for them to blame me for saying the name wrong.”
“I said it when they got on me again for how I was saying the name.”
“They keep making me repeat it so I get it right.”
“But I get worse because the pressure makes my stutter so bad.”
“My parents told me I shouldn’t talk to them about fair when I keep shitting on the names they love.”
“Which I don’t.”
“I never said anything about Michelle and I regret telling them I hate my name and want something different (my name is Richard).”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for standing up for themself, and telling his parents that he had no control over his speech impediment.
Nearly everyone was horrified by the fact that the OP’s parents were so shockingly unsympathetic towards his impediment, with many even urging the OP to consider to stop living with his parents:
“NTA.”
“And I am going to be completely honest with you – they are absolutely making it worse for you to be able to say the name correctly due to stressing you out.”
“Stress/anxiety impacts peoples ability to speak even if they don’t have diagnosed issues when it comes to speech.”
“There is a very famous study (completely unethical practices might I add) that proves this.”
“Children were left with lifelong speech issues when they didn’t have any prior BECAUSE those conducting the study kept belittling those children for their speech.”
“I am sorry you are dealing with this.”- crochetandmead
“NTA.”
“I honestly cannot believe your parents would be giving you such a hard time knowing you have a speech issue.”
“If you struggle with shell, it’s logical that Michelle would be difficult.”
“Of course stressing over the pronunciation is going to make your stutter worse, not better.”
“As a parent of a kid with speech issues it breaks my heart that they are making this worse for you.”
“It sounds like there is a lot of resentment and hard feelings built up around you not liking your own name.”
“Perhaps that is blinding them to the fact that this isn’t about you liking/disliking the name.”
“Either way I’m sorry this is happening.”
“If your parents stick with the name perhaps you can call her Sissy or M. My friend Michelle goes by Michi (pronounced me-chee).”
“I’m sure you can find something that won’t make you self conscious every time you try to say her name.”
“Good luck.”- PennyProjects
“You parents are really sad people.”
“You lost the lottery with them.”
“Ignore them and call the new baby ‘Mimi’ instead of Michelle.”
“Tell them that Michelle is a French name and that ‘Mimi’ is a known nickname for Michelle.”
“Refuse to play their ‘say it correctly’ games anymore, they seem to get pleasure from belittling you.”
“Maybe go live with your grandparents?”
“NTA Don’t let your parents mistreat you again, keep standing up for yourself.”
“No more pronunciation games.”- hadMcDofordinner
“Definitelyyyy NTA.”
“This sucks and is ridiculous that you’re having to go through this.”
“If your parents had educated themselves even a tiny bit about stutters, they would know full well that yelling at you and stressing you out will make it worse.”
“This might go without saying, but if your parents are this unsupportive with the stutter, there’s a good chance they are unsupportive about other things.”
“So it might be worth taking stock of your support system besides them (i.e., the grandparents who stood up for you, friends, other family) and strengthening those relationships as much as possible before the baby comes.”
“There’s no chance that they are open to nicknames for Michelle like Ellie, Micky, Mimi, etc. right?”
“I’m sorry that you’re even having to deal with this, friend.”- cqpa
“NTA.”
“Your parents know that you can’t pronounce certain sounds well and have chosen a name that you can’t pronounce.”
“If you have trouble with ‘chelle’, it’s in no way your fault and it’s not that serious, I don’t understand why it provokes such a reaction in them.”- PandaCotton
“NTA.”
“Your parents seem extremely ableist and like they don’t like you much.”
“Which is horrible and I’m sorry you are in this position at home.”- Both-Mud-4362
“NTA.”
“Geez, Do they not understand how stutters work?”
“They are creating a fantasy that you are resenting their new daughter as well as your name now, and it’s only going to get worse.”
“The baby’s not even here yet and she’s already the golden child.”
“Ask your grandparents again for them to intercede.”
“Your parents are being abusive to you.”
“You could also speak to a counselor or teacher at school.”
“Maybe ask for more speech therapy – mostly just to get the therapist to tell your parents to back the F off you.”- ParsimoniousSalad
“NTA.”
“It’s weird they accuse you of this if your speech is impeded.”
“I’m sure you can change your name legally by yourself when you’re able to do so.”-Kitchen_Key_1909
“NTA.”
“Try singing her name.”
“The brain uses different regions for speech and singing and using music can be a useful tool.”
“My husband’s favorite example is ‘Cannonball Run’ where the 2 guys are in a car and the hood flips up.”
“The actor (I can’t recall his name) had a significant stutter and when doing that scene to get the line out he actually sings ‘I can’t see can you?’ to which his passenger also singsongs ‘No I can’t little buddy’.”- Liathnian
“NTA.”
“I mean if you’re serious that you cannot say it due to personal restrictions, then you cannot be the asshole since the situation is beyond your control.”- BrewertonFats
It would be one thing if the OP was intentionally mispronouncing “Michelle” just to get on his parent’s nerves.
But that is far from the case here, and as many people have pointed out, the guilt and anxiety the OP’s parents are inflicting on him could have long term emotional damage.
Hopefully, since his maternal grandparents seem to be aware of this issue, they will take it upon themselves to intervene again for the OP’s well being.
Which might even include taking him in.