Most of us will go to at least a few weddings in our lifetime, and more than likely, at least one of those weddings will be centered around quite the bridezilla.
But one woman took the title to the next level, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
The Redditor, who has since deleted her account, was to be one of the bridesmaids in her sister’s wedding, only to be received harshly the day of the wedding.
Because of how she was treated, the Original Poster (OP) questioned if she was in the wrong.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my twin that she should have worked on herself instead of expecting me to let myself go for her wedding?”
The OP began to invest in herself about 5 years ago.
“My twin sister (May) and I are identical.”
“At the end of our first year of college, I was in a car accident, and I ended up with a facial scar and major trauma.”
“I started seeing a therapist because of the nightmares and the fact that I was panicking any time I got into a car.”
“That lead to me realizing there were some deeper issues, which we worked on.”
“As part of that work, I got a medical physical, started working with a dietician to fix my diet and the smorgasbord of vitamin deficiencies it caused, and I started working out (strength training 3 days and sprints or HIIT on 3) with our older sis.”
“By the end of our first year of college, we had each gained about 30 lbs. By the end of the next year, I had lost half of it, but I was smaller at 134 lbs. than my previous 120 because of the muscle mass.”
“And that’s been my size for the past half-decade.”
“I found a new beautician, and she gave me long layers (to make my natural curls be curls instead of waves of frizz) I always wanted, but that my old one said would look bad and refused.”
“I stopped bleaching it and let it go its natural dark blonde/light brown.”
“I stopped spray tanning.”
“Again, that’s been my look for the past five years.”
The OP struggled to keep in touch with her sister because of her location.
“I live in a rural area, and the internet isn’t great.”
“Things like Facetime just aren’t options, and I can’t post a lot of pics on social media because of it.”
“This is relevant because a big issue is that May didn’t see me over the quarantine.”
“We talked on the phone a couple of times a week, but it mostly revolved around her wedding planning (she got engaged before [the pandemic] put us on lockdown).”
The OP was given instructions for the wedding, but the bride didn’t see her before the wedding day.
“I wasn’t her MoH (Maid of Honor), so mostly I was being told decisions, not involved in the process.”
“When it came to the bridesmaids’ dresses, May sent our sister, SIL (sister-in-law), and me a link and told us to get it in our size.”
“Same with hair and makeup, but we had to arrange for a beautician because May’s wouldn’t pay for more than four, and she wanted her friends at the appointment with her.”
“Except she didn’t do a bachelorette party with us, either, (she did with her friends) or a rehearsal dinner, so May didn’t see any of us until the start of the wedding.”
The bride was immediately unhappy.
“She was livid.”
“Apparently, she thought we would have stopped working out because of the [pandemic] (even though we did it at home?) or that we would have stopped when she announced her engagement, so we didn’t upstage her.”
“She was mad because I didn’t try to hide my scar and didn’t tan, since she thought it ‘would be implied.'”
The bride continued complaining at the reception.
“She made several snide remarks before throwing a drunk temper tantrum at the reception, basically accusing the 3 of us, but me especially, of trying to upstage her.”
“I don’t have that excuse because I was a DD (designated drive), so I was sober, but I (quite famously) have a low tolerance for angry or crying drunks.”
“I told her, ‘If you’re so insecure, you should’ve got off your a** instead of expecting us to lay on ours to make yours look better.'”
“It only got worse.”
“Our family is on my side because I didn’t start it or do anything, but his family (the groom’s) and her friends (the bride’s) are giving me s**t.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the bride should have worked on herself before picking on the OP.
“I was asked to be in my friend Jeff’s wedding and his bride (Ana) was really insecure.”
“They had a two-year engagement because she wanted to be much smaller. So instead of asking the bridesmaids to gain weight, she went to a trainer, etc, and was much happier at her wedding for it.”
“This is what I always tell people who want me to change my body for their aesthetic. Spend a year getting your s**t together then rethink what you said.”
“So if your sister wants to have her perfect wedding, either have the pictures altered or put it off so she can get ‘ideal’. But yeah, f**k her.” – KyotoSkateShop
“I got engaged 2 weeks ago.”
“I have no intentions of being this weight when I get married, I’ve had some health issues, and gained some weight, the health issues are improving, so I’m planning to lose the weight I gained.”
“It’s not on anyone else, it’s on me, to get myself back into the shape I was.”
“No one else got me fat, so it’s not up to anyone else but me to fix it.”
“This sister sounds like a real piece of work.” – iamthenightrn
“If a bride wants to look good for her wedding, she needs to work on herself and not expect her bridesmaids to change just for her. Your sister is being incredibly childish for expecting you to let yourself go to make her look good.”
“And her husband and his family are AHs for getting in between sisters.” – marmaladestripes725
Others didn’t like the emphasis the bride placed on the OP’s scar.
“NTA… What on Earth. Are y’all supposed to walk up looking like baby beluga whales while twiggy the bride is complimented on how thin and tan she is?”
“And you have a scar, from nearly dying. That’s life, she should be so happy you aren’t dead.”
“What if you had been horribly burned or otherwise disfigured completely. If you had missing arms, would you be a bridesmaid? She’s really vain and not nice.”
“Girl, you do you. Just look in the mirror and be proud of yourself.” – ele71ua
“The sister getting mad at OP for not covering up her scar is what’s really throwing me off here. the other stuff is typical selfish bridezilla behavior but… there’s only one way to interpret the sister wanting ops scar to be covered.”
“She’s basically telling OP, after surviving a car accident, that her scar is distracting and shouldn’t be left uncovered.”
“The rest of the sister’s actions are selfish, but that is straight-up vile. That’s bottom-of-the-barrel, beyond a**hole behavior to tell someone to cover up scars for their own personal comfort.”
“When to cover it and when not to cover it is completely up to OP, no one else deserves any input.”
“And of course, NTA” – seeweedie
Though the OP wasn’t totally sure what to think, the subReddit was quick to defend her, and her appearance. The sub was appalled by the bride’s reaction to the OP’s scars, not to mention her demand for others to change their appearance for her. That’s hardly what weddings should be about.