Working on class assignments in a group can be a challenging task.
Just because everyone’s grades are intertwined and dependent on each other doesn’t mean everyone will be motivated to do the best for the group as a whole.
A lot of times, the workload is uneven, or people get left out.
This can cause a lot of headaches.
Redditor Throwaway67893e wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for ‘not contributing’ to a group project because I got my period?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Using a throwaway because my main has my name and posts in my college subreddit and would rather stay anonymous haha.”
“In one of my courses, we were randomly assigned group members for a project.”
“I (22 F[emale]) was with 3 other men (don’t know ages but early 20’s).”
“One of the members I was familiar with, I wouldn’t call us friends, but we’ve had other classes and assignments together.”
“The other two I didn’t know.”
“We met in the library to decide on a topic and assign roles so we could go home and do our parts on our own.”
“When we got there, the wifi was down.”
“One of the group members offered that we could go to his apartment since he lives right beside campus.”
“Usually, I wouldn’t be comfortable with this, but it was the man I’ve worked with before, so I felt it was okay.”
“After around 10 minutes of getting to his place, I went to the bathroom and saw I was on my period, and it was HEAVY.”
“I used to bring tampons with me everywhere, but since starting the pill 2 years ago, I’ve never once had an unexpected one, so eventually I stopped.”
“I had bled through my underwear and pants.”
“Luckily, I had a sweater tied around my waist, and it hadn’t bled through that yet.”
“This man lived alone, so I doubted he had any tampons/pads, and I wasn’t comfortable announcing this to everyone.”
“I told them I needed to leave because I was feeling sick, but said once I got home, I could call them to keep helping out.”
“They told me not to worry about it, they would just let me know what topic and roles they decided on and let me know.”
“When I asked later what was decided, they told me they were feeling ‘really motivated’ and finished the whole project that night?”
“I was shocked and felt bad that I didn’t contribute to it.”
“Here’s the issue: the professor is going to make us fill out a ‘participation’ form after we turn in the project to confirm how each member contributed.”
“As it is now, it will look like I purposely didn’t help at all!”
“I asked my group members what we should do about this, and they were quiet and just said they didn’t really want to lie.'”
“I told them it’s not my fault, they did everything without me, and if they don’t agree to give me any credit, I’ll have to take this to the professor.”
“They are now upset, saying I’m trying to get them in trouble if they don’t ‘lie.'”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Not going to opine on the AH part, but will offer a solution – go to the professor and explain the situation, ask if there is something you can do individually to complete the assignment.”
“It’s not fair to ask the group to lie about your participation; however, you also have a legitimate medical excuse.”
“The professor should be able to accommodate it with an individual project, especially if the group was able to complete it in one night.”
“This way you won’t be taking credit for work you didn’t do or asking the group to lie, but still having an opportunity to get credit for your grade for your work.” ~ Character-Toe-2137
“Great comment!”
“OP NTA- take this as a learning opportunity.”
“In college, it’s less about the project content itself tbh the profs dont care, they already know all this s**t.”
“Group projects in college are really just practice rounds for when youre in the workforce: learning to contribute however you can in a collaborative setting to create good content or product.”
“You missed out on day 1 of collaboration, but there’s still more work to be done, I’m sure.”
“You have good things to contribute, even if it’s just final proofreading, editing, and polishing!” ~ CatScratchEther
“This may just be me, but I’d tell the professor exactly what happened.”
“I’m done shielding people from the plain realities of female existence.”
“I used to have polyps in my uterus, which caused extremely bad periods.”
“My male boss at the time was always irritated with me when I had to go home when they started (I mean, they were extreme – extremely heavy flow and cramps so bad I’d be in a cold sweat, shaking and puking).”
“I finally told him one day EXACTLY what was happening and he never bothered me about it again.” ~ NovarexV
“NTA. You left for a good reason, offered to call in so you could continue the work, and had a reasonable expectation that all that was being decided was how the work would be split.”
“When they decided to keep working on it, they should have contacted you.”
“I presume that there’s still time between now and when the project is due?”
“1- If so, I see two solutions.”
“2- You take over all final editing of the project, including ensuring all citations.”
“You review the work done and find an aspect of it you can further flesh out, or that just isn’t addressed, even if that is something you’d normally consider beyond the scope of the assignment.”
“Then nobody has to lie, and you don’t feel guilty.”
“Also, you want to do that just in case ‘We were really motivated’ means ‘We got AI to do a lot of this and didn’t even check the output.'” ~ agreywood
“NTA. You said you’d give them a call when you got home, and he said not to.”
“If they were working on it after you left, it is their job to let you know.”
“They didn’t even assign you any work to do separately.”
“That’s on them.”
“You don’t deserve a failing grade for work you would have completed but weren’t given the chance to complete.”
“ETA: What kind of group project is so small that they all finished it in one night?”
“Check it over before it’s submitted.”
“They may have half-a**ed it.”
“I have a degree in engineering, so I worked almost exclusively with college guys on group projects… I had to do a LOT of cleaning up.” ~ leximoorre
“They decided to do the entire thing without you, and you had no say in this.”
“You need to talk to the professor. NTA.” ~ ImpossibleReason2204
“NTA. I’ll be honest, when I read the title, I thought for sure it’d be a YTA situation.”
“However, I do not think that it is because…”
“1) OP said she would call; and…”
“2) The members said OP didn’t need to call because they were just going to assign roles and topics (not actually work on the project).”
“It would be different if the plan was to actually work on the project and OP left, but that was not the case.”
“OP – I would let the group members know that you want to contribute.”
“You can do that by proofreading their work and adding on to what they already contributed.”
“As others pointed out, I would be concerned that they finished the project in such a short period of time.”
“Maybe they were able to complete it effectively, but maybe it is sloppily done or was completed with the use of AI (which could be a big issue if it is not permitted in class).” ~ Hello_JustSayin
“From the title, I was ready to say YTA, but after reading, I say 100% NTA.”
“What a shi**y situation. I would contact your professor ASAP and explain exactly what happened and find out what your options are.”
“Your group members are definitely a**hole,s though.”
“They should have left something for you to do or at least reached out.”
“After reading some of the comments… do y’all not know how to read!?”
“The group was planning on getting a very light start on the project that night, only deciding on a topic and assigning roles.”
“OP had NO WAY OF KNOWING that they were going to do significant work on the project that night, let alone finish it without her.”
“And clearly none of you have experienced how uncomfortable it is to be in blood-soaked clothes, not to mention the worry about what else your blood is going to end up on.”
“Like this random man’s couch or something.”
“Stuffing toilet paper down her pants or putting on a pad/tampon is not going to help the blood that is already on her pants. 🤦♀️.”
“It was fully reasonable for her to go home, because again, they weren’t planning to do much on the project that night anyway!” ~ EntertainmentBest449
“NTA – periods are unexpected.”
“The issue here is that your group purposely finished it without you contributing.”
“Since you have already spoken to the group, and they have not been helpful.”
“I would go to the professor and ask if it is possible to be placed with another group, as yours has met up and finished without you.”
“You were only supposed to assign parts at that meeting, so purposely leaving you out of completing it is not your fault.” ~Big-Range9664
“NTA. Honestly, it’s really strange, and if they did it all in one night, you should look over it to make sure it’s quality work.”
“In fact, chipping in that way and making some edits could be a good way to make sure they have something to say about you.”
“I also wouldn’t hesitate to bring this to the professor, just say you were sick.” ~ MammothAverage5003
Reddit is with you, OP.
They agreed to send you what they needed from you.
It’s unfair that they proceed without you.
It may be best for you to just go straight to the professor or the dean.
Good Luck.