What people choose to put in their bodies is their business.
So why are others so bent out of shape about what others eat sometimes?
More often than not the menu is about preference, other times it’s about dietary restriction.
Why the drama?
Case in point…
Redditor lorande9 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to eat from my colleague’s vegan birthday cake?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (29 F[emale]) am working in an office and I have a colleague named Bea, who routinely makes fun of vegans.”
“I am vegan and I never make a fuss about food.”
I go to the same restaurants as my coworkers during lunch hour and I can always find myself something to eat without announcing my dietary choices.”
“Bea keeps calling me out on it though and she’s very condescending about it.”
“She keeps saying I am just having a phase and she keeps offering me bites of her lunch that contain cheese and meat.”
“And when I refuse she just goes ‘Oh come on, it’s vegan I promise!’ wink-wink.”
“Its very childish and annoying and even other people asked her to tone it down, but she insists she’s just joking.”
“Last week she brought a homemade cake to the office for her birthday.”
“And when she put a slice down in front of me I politely thanked her but I said I cant eat that.”
“She said the cake is vegan and she made it specifically so I could eat it.”
“But knowing her very loose definition of vegan I asked a few questions about the ingredients and she didn’t check any of them for milk or eggs.”
“So I thanked her again but refused the slice.”
“She made a big scene out of it.”
“She started crying and saying she just wanted to do something nice for me and now I ruined her birthday.”
“Some colleagues told me not to mind her dramatics.”
“But my boss told me that it was her birthday and I could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt.”
“I sort of see his point.”
“But I also feel like I don’t need to justify my food choices to anyone.”
“And I never asked her to make the cake vegan for me.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Sounds like she was waiting for you to eat it so she could go ‘aha!’ and tell you how much you enjoyed it.” ~whatsername235
“This. Exactly this!”
“NTA, OP. No one has to eat anything they don’t want to.”
“And milk and eggs are the minimum she should be checking for.”
“Sugar is also problematic for vegans as well as many other ingredients that she probably has no idea about.”
“I’m not a vegan but I’m a baker and working at a very upscale resort in the bake shop taught me how many things aren’t acceptable when baking vegan recipes.” ~ geckotatgirl
“That’s something non vegans tend not to think about.”
“And as someone stated above, this was very likely going to turn into a ‘gotcha’ moment, otherwise why would the coworker care so much that OP refused?”
“There almost no chance it was strictly vegan.”
‘That person doesn’t seem trustworthy after all the ‘jokes’ they insist on telling.”
“With that in mind, you are NTA for refusing food likely unsafe to eat for you, or at worst non compliant with your diet.”
“Your boss is walking a fine line on being TA by suggesting you should have just eaten it.” ~ Ikmia
“THIS. OP, your work place has an H[uman] R[esources] office.”
“Use it because her constant harassment of you regarding you being a vegan is considered a hostile work environment.”
“She’s an AH. You’re NTA.” ~ REDDIT
“I don’t eat food from colleagues on principal.”
“Have you SEEN how most people live?”
“Their lax attention to hygiene? Not risking it.”
“NTA. Even if she wasn’t tricking you, you don’t have to eat anything from anyone if you don’t want to.”
“What is this ‘My BIIIIRTHDAY!’ nonsense anyway?”
“That maybe works if you’re 7 and you want more ice cream.”
“Not when you’re 39 and wanna bully your colleagues.” ~ Dark_fascination
“NTA. Completely agree, but even if that wasn’t the case OP’s ‘No thanks’ would have been more than appropriate and should have been accepted.”
“No one should be forced to eat anything that don’t want to.” ~ TogarSucks
“This is the equivalent of a boss telling me, someone with celiac disease, that I should just eat a wheat flour cake so someone’s feelings won’t be hurt.”
“Vegetarians and vegans can often experience gastrointestinal problems after eating animal products because their digestive systems aren’t used to those things any more.”
“OP’s boss wanted to risk her getting sick to spare a grown a** adult’s fee fees.” ~ Carbonatite
“I’ll bet you $50 that cake wasn’t actually vegan. NTA.” ~ BadAdviceGiver666
“NTA – she’s clearly and repeatedly shown that she doesn’t respect your dietary choices.”
“Her cake was probably as vegan as a bacon cheeseburger.”
“You politely refused.”
“Your boss needs to take several seats as it’s completely inappropriate for him to comment on what you eat or don’t eat.”
“He needs to talk to Bea about her bullying and harassing you over food.” ~ Radiant_Cat618
“Exactly this. There is absolutely no obligation for anyone to eat any food brought in by coworkers, fuck that noise.”
“If she truly made it vegan specifically for OP she should have simply brought it in, told them that she intentionally made it vegan so that OP could be included and left it at that.”
“It’s not hard.” ~ iAmRiight
“NTA, I wouldn’t trust that cake.”
“Also your boss is a jerk.”
“You may want to file a report with HR to have for future reference in case this escalates.” ~ AccioWine9
“NTA. Anyone over the age of 8 who thinks their birthday is ruined because someone doesn’t want cake needs to grow up.”
“You weren’t mean to her.”
“You didn’t hurt her.”
“You didn’t yell and swear and damn her to the deepest pit of Hell.”
“Your boss is only going at you because the boss thinks it’s easier to make you bend than to deal with your coworker’s tantrums.” ~ VarnishedTruths
“NTA. She’s being a drama witch.”
“Also, it really stinks when you accidentally eat dairy after not having eaten dairy for a long time.” ~ TalulaJen
“Yeah people don’t realize it’s not just a casual ‘oops’ mistake.”
“If you’ve been vegan a long time and eat meat or dairy, you can get so SO sick.”
‘I accidentally ate 1 small meat taco (the restaurant does genuinely identical vegan ones and mine and my friend’s got mixed up) and I felt awful and did not leave the bathroom for a while.”
“If the coworker consistently is careless about OP’s veganism and doesn’t sound sure enough on ingredients, I wouldn’t have touched it either. NTA.” ~ DaydreamerFly
“NTA given her history I wouldn’t put it past her to say that it is a vegan cake and then be like “surprise it’s got butter and eggs in it, you just ate non vegan food.'”
“‘See how yummy it is’ after OP had taken a slice.”
“You don’t need to explain your food decisions to anyone and it sounds like coworker is being over sensitive and dramatic.” ~ Travelwithbex
“NTA. She’s acting like a little child since one person refused to eat from her cake because they can’t.”
“I may have leaned towards ‘no a**holes here’ if this were the first and only time she’s done this, but it’s evidently not.” ~ Artanis709
“NTA… she’s a drama queen and probably wanted you to eat it so she could say afterwards that it has ingredients you don’t eat.”
“She sounds like a piece of work and you’d be better off avoiding her whenever possible.” ~ Kewege
“NTA. Even if you weren’t vegan why can’t you just say you don’t want any cake?”
“This shouldn’t be an issue.”
“In fact why is your boss saying that you should have given the cake the benefit of of the doubt.”
“No one at work should be pressured to eat anything.” ~ pnutbuttercups56
“NTA. Given her attitude towards you being vegan I’d say you’re perfectly justified in never eating anything she offers you.”
“I see this as a lower stakes version of those people who refuse to believe when someone has an allergy and try to sneakily feed them the food they’re allergic to.”
“If someone tells you that they can’t or won’t eat something, whether for health reasons, religion, ethical reasons or just plain personal preference.”
“You should respect that and not try to feed them that thing.” ~ RebelScientist
“NTA. She’s clearly made this a her hill to die on and had repeatedly made fun of you for it.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her to try and trick you into eating butter or something.”
“You weren’t rude, you just declined.”
“She was the one that made a scene because she was hoping you’d give her the opportunity.” ~ eirwen29
“NTA and you aren’t obligated to eat any random food someone puts in front of you.” ~ lkvwfurry
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
The whole situation sounds a bit suspect.
Dietary preference is a personal thing and you have to be careful.
Hopefully the drama settles.