Redditor throwaway8293947 is a 37-year-old male who said was fully aware he may have ruined his wife’s birthday dinner.
His wife, who is 35-years-old, wanted to celebrate her special day at a restaurant specializing in food from a region she is from.
Even though he reluctantly agreed to her restaurant choice, it ended up being a disaster anyway.
After he was accused of embarrassing his wife at the dinner for causing a scene, the Redditor visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for agreeing to go to a restaurant that only serves spicy food when I can’t handle anything spicy?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife’s birthday was this past weekend and she wanted to go to this specialty Sichuan restaurant because she is from that region.”
“Sichuan food is known to be really spicy, and is a lot more than I can handle. She knows I can’t do spicy, and we’ve been trying to work on my tolerance with her cooking, but it’s still not that good.”
“I told her this and suggested we go to a regular Chinese restaurant, but she claimed it’s not the same. She said there will be non spicy options and at worst, she can ask them to make it not spicy.”
“She clung to me and gave me those cute eyes that I couldn’t say no to, so I gave in and agreed. It’s her birthday so I didn’t want to ruin her day.”
“Well turns out I did anyway. We were at the restaurant and the entire menu was in Chinese. They had an english one but it didn’t really tell me what was spicy and what wasn’t.”
“I let her order a few dishes, the food came, and it was all spicy. Even the ones she said weren’t. I tried to eat it, but I couldn’t so I asked her if she can ask them to make it less spicy.”
“She told me to take it slowly and to eat more rice. But I wasn’t enjoying it and asked her again. She got a little huffy but called the waiter over.”
“The waiter kind of gave me a look, like one of those confused ‘why are you here?’ looks, but took a dish back. It came back out and it was not as spicy but still has a kick. I think it was the sauce they’re using or something.”
“I told the waiter it’s still spicy for me, and the waiter said they can’t make it any less spicy than that. My wife was getting embarrassed I think, because the tables next to us were all looking now.”
“When the waiter went away, I asked her if we can go to another restaurant. She said she didn’t want to, since we’re already here and we already have food on the table.”
“I may be TA here because I started getting frustrated and saying that we’ve been out all day, and I haven’t eaten and now I won’t be able to eat because everything is spicy. She told me to just eat the rice and we’ll get something for me after.”
“I got really offended by that and got up and left, walked around for a bit to cool down then came back to see her by our car. She was furious and said I embarrassed her.”
“I said she knew I couldn’t handle spicy, and she said I shouldn’t have agreed to the restaurant.”
“AITA for agreeing? In hindsight, I could’ve probably eaten the dish that came back with a lot of rice…but I wouldn’t enjoy it. I don’t think I can get used to spicy food.”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors did not look upon the OP favorably for his behavior at the birthday dinner.
“I actually was on your side until the end. You were a great partner to go with her, and to play the game. She was a good partner to reorder a dish for you and you gamely try to eat it. Where it all fell apart is the moment you threw a little snit/tantrum.”
“It was your wife’s birthday.”
“This was her choice of restaurant, for her birthday.”
“Which you agreed to.”
“She tried to accommodate you after you had not only sat down but ordered and received your food.”
“She gave you a second reasonable accommodation: eat the rice, we’ll get you something afterwards. And also an implied reason to stay: we’ve already ordered, this was my choice, I’m still hungry, and I still want to eat, and if any day should be about me it’s today and you’re making it about you.”
“You then (a) ‘got frustrated’ (pitched a lil hanger fit), (b) got up and left, and (c) DIDNT COME BACK until she was at the car!!! Probably waiting for you! on HER birthday!”
“Yeah. YTA.” – iwantasecretgarden
“It’s so humiliating being left in a restaurant by your date, too. Everybody was already watching and then OP left her there to, I assume, pay and do the walk of shame to the parking lot. On her birthday.”
“Real smooth.” – scarefish
“I don’t eat spicy food and in your place, I would have suck it up and eaten plain rice. It was HER birthday, her day to be happy and she wanted to eat food from her region, it was ONE meal.”
‘In hindsight, I could’ve probably eaten the dish that came back with a lot of rice…’
“Exactly.”
‘but I wouldn’t enjoy it.’
“WHATEVER!!!! WHO CARES???? Man… It was her birthday, her day and you made/ still make it all about you and ruined it!!”
‘I don’t think I can get used to spicy food.’
“Again, whatever!! YTA.” – Midia00
“Or he could have eaten something beforehand to hold him over while at the restaurant, order something plain (like the rice you suggested), and then if you’re truly starving, make a snack when you get home.”
“YTA.” – patticakes16
“YTA. It’s her birthday. Suck it up for one day a year and just eat the f’king rice and stop complaining.” – AllThoseRedFlags
Overall, Redditors continued slamming the OP for his tantrum when he could have just ordered the white rice–like he himself suggested–for the sake of this once-a-year special occasion for his wife.