It’s that time of year. Time to figure out who has been naughty and who has been nice. And who deserves what and how much under the tree.
Gifts, gifts and gifts. How much do you spend and why? Money had really taken a hold on the holidays.
It can cause so many problems even when times are suppose to be jolly.
Case in point…
Redditor ThrowRaja2021 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to buy expensive Christmas gifts for my partners nephews?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My partner (M[ale] 49) and I (F[emale] 41) have been together for 11 years. We both have high paying jobs and we spend significantly less than we earn. We’re child free.”
“Under the restrictions we both had to work from home. Therefore we started renovating our apartment since we both spent a lot more time at home.”
“We splurged on this renovation. We refurnished and only chose high quality designer pieces.”
“Anyway this didn’t not go well with my S[ister] I[n] L[aw] (my partner’s sister).”
“I don’t know if it’s jealousy or not, but she was very clear that she was disappointed that we had all that money laying around and then spent it on renovation.”
“SIL (F42) is a CFO and her husband is CEO, both in large companies.”
“In other words they don’t lack funds. They live in a big house and have multiple cars. They also have three kids (m14, m10, m9).”
“This year we got their Christmas list very early with a side note {you can put your money into better use.}”
“The list included 2 IPhone pro max 1 IPad pro 1 Apple Watch Gaming computer A PS 5, FIFA 22 A ski trip Ski gear.”
“We just looked down the list in shock and my partner said they’re maybe joking. We always gifted books and simpler things and never got anything in return.”
“My partner called his mother then to see if we got the wrong list. She said no but your sister thought that because you don’t have a family you can afford splurging on your nephews.”
“My partner then told me that there’s really not much to do and that maybe we could get some of the stuff on the list.”
“I completely refused and told him the kids weren’t our responsibility at all and that we should ignore the list and just do the usual.”
“He told me FINE! I will get them from my own money then (we have joint account as well as private ones).”
“So I know I can’t tell him what to do with his own money but I feel so mad and have been sulking this whole weekend.”
“He thinks I’m an AH for it. AITA for refusing to chip in and still be sulking even if the money doesn’t come from my pocket?”
“In my defense, I never cared about money. I would’ve gladly helped should they needed it.”
“I just feel like they’re using us and that they don’t see us as a family.”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question- AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
But it’s still a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“Definitely NTA. To be honest i would cut these entitled obnoxious people off if i were in your shoes.”
“Also your husband really needs to grow a spine!” ~ ConfusedDragonFruit1
“NTA- the little side note on the list would be enough for me to not want to buy them anything anyway.”
“Christmas gifts are not about the price, but the cost. You do not owe them anything. You are not TA.”
“But your husband is for sulking and for not sticking up to his sister.”
“Take the money you would have spent on the expensive gifts and donate that money in the child’s name.”
“Then send a note to the sister that says, due to your more than adequate income we decided to pay it forward this year in your child’s name as they will get plenty of expensive gifts while some children get none.” ~ sarahlampi
“I would not call that sulking so don’t let anyone accuse you of that either. You have an opinion and you’re sticking to it.”
“You are also much nicer than me. I would have called the in-laws and told them that they don’t get to dictate how I spend my money.”
“If your husband bends on this, the in-laws will know that snarky comments will work on him. He’s making a big mistake.”
“The nerve of some people!! Definitely NTA.” ~ mspentyoot
“The gifts aren’t even the a problem.”
“Your SIL saw you spending your hard earned money on a renovation (normal homeowner stuff), thought ‘how DARE they have lots of money snd not benefit ME?’ And felt empowered to DEMAND loads of stuff for Christmas.”
“Does your husband think this won’t escalate?”
“Your husband gives into this, this is going to escalate. For starters you’ll never be able to go back to books etc for birthdays.”
“It’ll be iPads etc from now on. Then you’ll be expected to pitch in to make sure they can gift them a Mercedes G Wagon as their first car, set up a college fund, give them a deposit for a first house etc etc.”
“That’s not even starting on the fact that other family members will jump on that gravy train when they see that it’s okay to treat you and your husband as ATMs because you’re childfree.”
“You need to make it clear to your husband that if he is set on going down this route, NONE of it will be coming out of the joint account and every expense will be from his fun money.”
“Might also be worth pre-emptively making it clear that all presents and discussions on his side are solely his domain (and vice versa) from here on out if he goes down this route.”
“He unilaterally makes this decision he unilaterally deals with the drama and escalating demands.” ~ FlahBlast
“NTA. But now your bigger problem is your partner.”
“The fact that he is willing to indulge his sister’s rude and crass behaviour means that she will go even further next time. Is he always like this with his family?” ~divinateofshadows
“NTA – it’s one thing to choose to buy someone in your family an expensive gift because you want to, and are lucky enough to be able to… but being basically ordered to is something else entirely.”
“Get them a pair of ski socks each. And a nice book or three. :)” ~ RafRafRafRaf
“NTA – they said you don’t have a family all because you don’t have kids. Even if they didn’t have the money, their children are not entitled to yours.”
“I would cut the sister in law out. Your partner can do what he wants. But their just using him for money.”
“I would make sure your assets are good because if he dies before you. We all know how the sister is going to act.” ~ psstsaywat2021
Well it sounds like everyone wants our OP to have some deep heart to hearts with her significant other, and quick.
Which isn’t a bad thing. Better to air out issues before they fester and then there is no going back.
Let’s hope everyone can get into the Christmas spirit. Which isn’t about gifts.