We’d all like to think that we live in a progressive enough world where women aren’t expected to be completely subservient to their husbands.
Unfortunately, not all people (specifically, not all men) feel this way.
Thankfully, most women know their worth, and have zero tolerance towards their husbands expecting to be waited on hand and foot.
Under any circumstances.
The husband of a recent Redditor had been working long hours, and was looking for a little respite.
Hence, while the original poster (OP) was out grocery shopping, they asked her to buy the makings for his favorite dinner, to which the OP agreed.
However, when he got home, he was not treated to the dinner he was expecting, and openly expressed his disappointment.
Something the OP had absolutely zero sympathy for.
Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not making the dinner that my husband requested?”
The OP explained why the home cooked meal she made for her husband was meant with disappointment and frustration:
“My (28 F[emale]) husband (31 M[ale]) and I have been married for a little over two years.”
“I’m currently about 2 months pregnant with our first child.”
“My husband works as the general manager of a local fast food franchise.”
“I’m not under employment anywhere, but I do a lot of freelance technical writing work from home.”
“My husband’s position pays surprisingly well with good benefits, but he’s been having to put in a ton of hours lately, as staffing has been a major problem.”
“The other day, he texted me to let me know that he would be working late; AGAIN, for the fourth time this week.”
“A little later, I texted him that I was going grocery shopping and asked if there was anything special he’d like me to pick up while I was there.”
“He responded: ‘Get me a couple packs of peach sparkling water, please’.”
“‘Also, I could really use some comfort food’.”
“‘You think I could get some meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn?'”
“I responded with thumbs up and winking, kissing face emojis.”
“I bought him everything he asked for.”
“However, I had already thawed pork chops for dinner that night, and, honestly, they were on the verge of going bad so I had to use them up.”
“When my husband got home, he asked where his meatloaf was.”
“I told him that I’d bought the ingredients but that I wasn’t serving meatloaf that night.”
“He then said that this was the one thing he’d been looking forward to for the past couple of hours, and that I’d made it seem as if I was going to make it for him.”
“I told him that I’d never said any such thing, and that I’m not his domestic servant, taking dinner orders.”
“He shot back that if I didn’t want to make what he asked for that I should have just said so, but I said that all I’d indicated was that I’d pick up the food, not that I’d make his requested meal that evening.”
“This whole thing could probably be written off as a miscommunication, but, honestly, I’m angry that my husband seems to assume that I’m at his beck and call to make whatever meal he wants.”
“And he’s angry that I apparently ‘can’t do one nice thing for him when he asks’.”
“Who’s the AH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found very little sympathy from the Reddit community, who generally agreed that she was the a**hole for not cooking her husband his requested dinner.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s text did suggest that she had agreed to cook him the dinner he asked for, with many also finding that the OP overreacted, as her husband clearly didn’t expect her to cater to his every need, just requested a dinner which she seemed to agree to make:
“YTA.”
“Tbh this text made it seem like you were making that.”
“You thumbed up the message and did a kissy face about it.”
“I’m a women, yeah if someone texted me that I would think they would be making it for dinner that night.”
“The confusing is pretty understandable on his part and his disappointment makes sense.”- BuilderWide1961
“YTA.”
“The way I would have read that from his perspective was that he’d be coming home to meatloaf, seeing as you said you’d make it.”
“Your message response is 100% the response you’d send if you’re planning on making what he asked for, seriously you gave him a thumbs up.”
“Now you’re saying sh*t about him assuming you’re at his beck and call, when it was clearly you that agreed to make it and then didn’t.”
“You could have saved yourself a lot of headaches by simply saying that you’d already take pork chops out, but maybe you could make meatloaf tomorrow.”- HugeInTheShire
“YTA.”
“You misled him into thinking that dinner would be what he asked for (even though you knew you would be cooking something else).”
“He returned home, salivating in anticipation of these dishes.”- InesMM78
“YTA.”
“You may not be at your husband’s beck and call, but you knew exactly what he was implying when he asked for his comfort food.”
“You know he is stressed and working hard for his family, and the staffing issues are not going to get better anytime soon.”
“You sent cute emojis in response to his request.”
“You never stated it could not happen.”
“You gave the impression it was going to happen.”
“All you had to do was shoot him a text, ‘hey babe, I forgot about these pork chops’.”
“‘I need to make them instead’.”
“Instead, you let him think all day that he was coming home to his favorite meal.”
“I have done this many a time as well, had meat out, or had in fridge and then never got to use it.”
“I have cooked a few things in one night so as not to let the meat go to waste.”
“Pork chops and the meat loaf could have been baked together at the same time.”
“Pork chops could have been used the next night or for lunches.”
“I say this as one who has a hard-working husband as well, and my Brown sugar meat loaf is one of his favorite meals.”- Worth-Season3645
“There was no miscommunication.”
“You agreed to something and you backtracked.”
“He’s not treating you as a servant.”
“He’s treating you as his wife who agreed to make a certain dinner after you specifically requested that he choose dinner, and then you backed out.”
“If you didn’t want to make the meatloaf, you shouldn’t have asked him what he wanted, and you shouldn’t have agreed to it.”
“YTA.”- IAmTAAlways
“Clearly YTA.”
“You thawed out pork chops.”
“They were FROZEN, so they weren’t close to going bad.”
“You could have wrapped them up, stuck them in the fridge,e and cooked them the next day.”
“They would have survived one more day.”
“This, [thumbs-up emoji] and this, [kiss emoji] would certainly make me believe you were going to make me meatloaf.”
“So, so much TA.”
“I’m irritated over this on his behalf right now.”- Duin-do-ghob
“YTA.”
“He asked you do to something, you told him you would and then didn’t communicate plans changed.”
“So, of course, he’s disappointed.”
“The pork chops would have kept for tonight’s dinner.”
“Sounds like you did this to punish him for working late AGAIN!”
“Communication is important in a marriage.”- wayward_painter
“Everyone else already made most of the comments I would, but also, why the griping about him working late AGAIN?”
“That is what managing a restaurant involves, and you’re not complaining about the $ it brings in.”
“He logically expected you were agreeing to is polite request and that helped get him through the extra hours.”
“That is NOT expecting you to be at his ‘beck and call’.”
“Honestly, you sound exhausting.”
“YTA.”- terraformingearth
“YTA.”
“This is Reddit, where all husbands are lazy and entitled and don’t do anything around the house.”
“And you’re STILL getting almost exclusively negative reactions from men and women.”
“Your husband is not entitled to Meat Loaf, but when you tell him that you are going to make it, and that is what he is expecting, he has every right to be upset.”- ElGato6666
“What the hell does being pregnant have to do with this story?”
“YTA.”- PsychologicalMonk354
“YTA.”
“You 100% made it seem like you were making meatloaf, mash potatoes, and corn.”
“You aren’t the a**hole for not making it, you are the a**hole for pretending like you don’t understand why he was disappointed.”
“Your communication was off/wrong.”
“He is aloud to be disappointed and upset by the lack of meatloaf.”- funsized1217
It would be one thing if the OP’s husband demanded that she make meatloaf.
But that wasn’t the case. He merely asked her if she might be able to, to which she said yes.
It is understandable why he might have been disappointed to come home and find pork chops.
If the OP thinks this was a case of miscommunication, perhaps she should sharpen her fluency with emojis.