When the global pandemic hit in March of 2020, nearly everyone had to adjust and figure out a way to work from home.
Even as offices have slowly begun to re-open, however, more and more people decided to continue working from home, feeling that there were numerous advantages in doing so.
Namely, for working parents, the opportunity to spend more time with their family.
This is what prompted Redditor Quirky-Regret-9031 to jump on the chance to work on a hybrid schedule, allowing them to stay home and help out with their daughter three days a week.
Unfortunately, much to their wife’s fury, the original poster (OP) found themselves having no other choice but to return to the office full-time.
Ironically, owing almost entirely to their wife.
Wondering if they were being unfair, the OP took to the subreddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for giving up on working from home because my wife kept interrupting my meetings.”
The OP explained how their excitement to work from home was short lived, owing almost entirely to their wife’s behavior.
“I work in the medical field.”
“I often discuss confidential information with clients and doctors.”
“I am not a doctor myself.”
“In July of this year I finally had an opportunity to for employment that would give me the option of working from home.”
“I sat down with my wife and explained that this was a good thing for us.”
“I would be home three more days every week.”
“I would still be going into the office on Tuesday and Thursday.”
“But the other days I could skip out on the commute.”
“I could help with the my daughter in the morning and throughout the day.”
“I could help with supper.”
“I could see my 4-year-old daughter more.”
“Not all the time of course.”
“I was still going to be working.”
“But our car would be home three extra days.”
“My wife could take our car and drop off our daughter with our parents or a sitter if she needed.”
“We sat and talked to my daughter and explained that even though I was home I could not spend all my time with her.”
“I explained that if the door was closed she needed to knock quietly and ask permission to come in.”
“And to accept it if the answer was no.”
“My daughter understood.”
“My wife did not.”
“She was constantly coming into the office when I was in meetings.”
“I had to excuse myself to get her out of the room.”
“More than once I saw my daughter trying to keep her out of my room.”
“One time my wife was trying to carry my daughter into the room and my kid was holding onto the door jamb so she didn’t get in trouble for coming in when the door was closed.”
“I finally put a lock on the door.”
“She said she didn’t like being locked out of a room in her house.”
“I explained that the door being closed and a sign saying that I was in a meeting didn’t stop her.”
“She finally got the point.”
“Until this thanksgiving.”
“I was working on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and she needed to go buy something for our meal the next day.”
“And for some reason could not take our daughter with her.”
“Or drop her off with either set of grandparents.”
“Or a drop in day care where we have a spot.”
“She instead decided to shake my locked door and knock until I answered.”
“I muted my meeting opened the door and told her to leave me alone until the end of the day.”
“She left and texted that my daughter was watching tv in the other room.”
“I talked to my boss and I went back to work at my workplace starting last week.”
“I hate being away from my daughter and my wife.”
“My wife hates being limited to using Uber on the days I’m not home.”
“Or depending on our parents.”
“Now she is mad at me for going back to the office.”
‘I told her that it’s her fault for not understanding that I was WORKING from home.”
“Not just playing games in my home office.”
“I feel like an asshole and she says I am.”
“But I am the sole breadwinner for our family.”
“If I got laid off because of her we would be in financial hardship.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for choosing to return to their workplace full-time.
Everyone agreed that if the OP’s wife couldn’t understand what their four-year-old daughter seemed to have no trouble understanding, they were truly left with no other choice.
“NTA, you explained it so clearly that a 4 YO could understand it.”
“When there is a very real chance of legal repercussions from a privacy breach due to your wife’s negligent behavior, she left you no choice.”
“You have to protect the income for your family so I don’t see how working at home was still a viable option.”
“And it really sucks because it deprives you and your daughter of extra time together.”- Vaelin_Wolf
“NTA.”
“Working from home is work, not just being home during work hours.”- Glittering_Cherry909
“NTA.”
“Sounds like you had to go back to working in person.”
“You were left no other option.”
“If your 4 year old could understand the rules, but your wife couldn’t.”
“Holy moly, that’s insane.”
“SMH.”- jammy913
“NTA.”
“My partner works from home in the medical field and I truly cannot imagine any circumstance in which I would knock or bother them during their workday.”
“Your wife had a good thing going and could not make the very small sacrifices needed to keep that sustainable.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work for you.”- Regular-Tell-108
“NTA.”
“You can’t efficiently work from your house because she doesn’t respect the boundaries you set.”
“As a result, your whole family loses out since you’ll be going back to the office.”
“That’s on her.”
“Ask her if she would prefer that you stay at home and run the risk of getting fired since she is jeopardizing your work/income by acting like this.”- FunkyOrangePenguin
“NTA.”
“You did what you had to do to keep your job.”
“Your wife couldn’t respect your work so you were forced back into the office.”
“The only person she has to blame for losing all of the benefits of you WFH is herself due to her self-centeredness.”- Sadbabytrashpanda
“NTA.”
“And she is literally jeopardizing the stability and livelihood for herself and your daughter with her immature behavior.”
“She needs to understand the boundaries for working from home, and if not, then you will be at the office.”- WholeAd2742
“NTA.”
“Based on the details provided your wife is definitely a big A, and needs to learn to be kind and respectful of others.”- Radiant-Persimmon443
“NTA.”
“Your wife is going to get you fired.”
“She gave you no other choice.”
“Either she’s just incredibly selfish and thinks her needs come before everyone else’s or she’s not bright enough to understand the consequences of her actions.”
“Either way, she’s 100% wrong on this one.”- Aylauria
“You have a really weird wife.”
“Does she has a mental attitude of a 2 y/o?”
“Even your little daughter knows better.”
“It’s bizare that an adult can’t understand basic things/boundaries.”- TheRealMaly
“Is there a gigantic chocolate fountain in your office?”
“If not then there is zero reason for constantly barging in there.”
“NTA.”- MutantsAtTableNine
“NTA.”
“Working from home is still working.”
“Good for you on getting the door lock.”
“You might need to go back to the office every day for the month of January.”
“Let your wife see how hard it is when you are gone everyday.”
“Might be the wakeup call she needs.”
“Tell her if she doesn’t stop interrupting and disrespecting your WFH time, that you’ll make it permanent.”- KronkLaSworda
“NTA.”
“Op, would it help to show your wife this thread so she can see how she is TA to you and to herself for losing the ability to have the car and the benefit of having your there in the mornings, as well as saving on gas, plus putting your source of income in jeopardy?”
“Your wife is not respecting your boundary and respecting boundaries is marriage 101.”
“Suggestion: Another person in your shoes on this thread was also working from home and she had her husband txt her when needed just as they would through the day as if she was in the office.”
“Would this help?”
“Can she try the txting option, instead of the barging in option?”
“Could you try it for a week so you don’t have to miss out on daughter-daddy time?”
“Further, can you get the family in on this to explain and back you up on how she is TA to herself and you?”
“I don’t usually like sending flying monkeys.”
“But your wife sure could use some.”
“Although as I said above, maybe showing this thread will do the job.”
“Good luck Op!”- Mandaloriana_2022
Some people don’t quite understand the concept that working from home still requires work to be done.
Including the OP’s wife.
One can only hope that the OP being away from the family more often will help her reflect on her behavior.
Possibly allowing the OP to return to working from home part-time, in the manner they hoped they would.