You can never be too sure what might offend someone.
While sometimes we have the forethought to avoid telling crude jokes or using profane language, we still might find ourselves putting off our host, guests, or even loved ones.
All because of one little thing that we didn’t even give a second thought to.
A recent Redditor was thrilled to fulfill a request made by their wife that would require a certain amount of effort and creativity.
When the original poster (OP) had finally finished this request, they couldn’t have been happier with the results.
Unfortunately, the OP’s wife felt some changes were necessary to the OP’s finished product.
Changes the OP was not afraid to hide their resentment towards.
Having some concerns about their behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my wife to taste my food before she starts adding stuff to it.”
The OP explained how they found themself at odds with their wife over a bowl of soup:
“I cook for my family of four almost every night. I have a wide range of dishes I can make, and whenever I cook for people outside my family, they always go out of their way to tell me how much they enjoyed the meal—pretty much regardless of what it is.”
“I even know a chef who currently runs a kitchen, and he’s told me I have ‘serious chops’, especially for a home cook.”
“My family, on the other hand, is used to my cooking, and I think they take it for granted.”
“I don’t think they realize that not everyone cooks like this.”
“Honestly, the hardest part for me isn’t making the food—it’s deciding what to make.”
“Every day, I ask my family, ‘What do you guys want? Is there anything specific I can make for you?’”
“Tonight, my wife suggested chicken noodle soup.”
“Easy enough.”
“Then she said, ‘Or maybe chicken and rice soup’.”
“That got my mind going.”
“I decided to make a creamy chicken and wild rice soup, thickened with a béchamel sauce to give it a rich, velvety texture.”
“About 1 hour and 45 minutes later, the soup turned out amazing.”
“Like, really freaking good—and I’m my own worst critic. I let the family know that dinner was ready.”
“No teenagers came out of their rooms.”
“My wife was just hanging out, watching TV.”
“So, I figured I’d finish cleaning up the last few things I hadn’t gotten to while cooking, so the kitchen would be ready to go.”
“By the time I was done, my wife finally wandered in and got a bowl of soup.”
“Without even tasting it, she immediately reached for the cayenne pepper and started shaking it into her bowl.”
“All I said was, ‘Hey, what are you doing? You haven’t even tasted it yet’.”
“She got pissed and just walked off.”
“So, am I the a**hole for asking my wife to at least try the food as it’s presented before dumping cayenne into it?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they generally found little to no sympathy with the OP, mostly agreeing they were the a**hole for the way they reacted towards their wife:
A few felt that the OP was not the a**hole, who sympathized with the fact that the rest of their family didn’t seem to appreciate the time and effort they put into cooking for them:
“NTA.”
“But I’d just throw some box macaroni in the microwave for the family and take my nice leftover soup to work for lunch the next day.”
“You’re casting pearls before swine.”
“You haven’t mentioned very small children or people with no arms living in your household.”
“If they complain, they can cook their own meals.”- Comfortable-One8520
Others, however, felt the OP deserved to be taken down a peg or two, feeling they were much too proud and confident in their cooking and should have let their wife eat her food however she wanted to:
“YTA.”
“You don’t get to dictate how someone eats their food.”
“It would be one thing if she went in and started adding stuff to the entire pot but she didn’t.”
“She’s allowed to add whatever she wants to her bowl, and based on the fact that she just walked away when you tried to interfere I would have to assume you do that often.”- Top_Purchase5109
“YTA, I swear every time someone makes a post about how great of a cook they are and claims that people outside their family tell them so but get mad when a family member adds something extra to the meal, I want to roll my eyes.”
“Every member has a different taste preference in how they want their food to taste.”- The-Angriest-Angel
“YTA.”
“I’m a great cook.”
“I’m a foodie.”
“I cook for my family.”
“I’m not impressed that you thickened a soup with a bechamel.”
“That’s how you thicken things.”
“Reading your post made me cringe, and reading your judgment about your wife made me angry.”
“Your wife wanted spicy soup.”
“You didn’t make a spicy soup.”
“It’s her f*cking food.”
“Let her enjoy it.”
“The point of cooking should be to make people happy, not to control them.”- it2d
“Soft YTA, only because you sound incredibly dramatic, waiting around for everyone to fawn over your soup….and controlling over how they enjoy it.”
“Almost sounds like you resent them.”
“If teenagers had sprinted out of their rooms and wife had marched in to get a bowl, sprinkling salt and pepper on it before gobbling it up and praising you endlessly — would you still be upset?”-itsMalarky
“YTA.”
“You sound insufferable, especially after your comment about holding off on the next meal you had planned.”- Friendly-Client6242
“YTA.”
“You sound horribly controlling, and I feel bad for your wife.”- herefortheaitas01
“YTA.”
“She knows how you cook and what she likes.”
“She didn’t ‘wreck’ the whole pot, just seasoned her own to her tastes.”
“I always salt and hot sauce my MIL’s food before tasting as I know her baseline (she’s a great cook btw).”
“My MIL doesn’t care.”
“Also, just an fyi…cayenne is excellent in creamy dishes!”
“My favourite is an aged cheddar and Gruyère mac and cheese with a ton of cayenne.”- Agreeable_Deer_570
“Sorry but YTA.”
“I say this because I was once the same AH, and now looking back I can’t believe I took offense to people putting salt or pepper or whatever before tasting.”
“It sounds like you’re channeling your resentment for other issues – like the family not showing appreciation for all you do – into the seasonings.”
“You show your love by cooking, and when they aren’t excited about a meal, you don’t feel like you’re loved back.”
“But food isn’t love language for everyone.”
“They’re AHs too, for not being polite, but not for wanting a little heat.”- -p-q-
“YTA.”
“Not for cooking, the person who figures out what to have and then actually cooks is the hero of any family.”
“And I get it, I am also a GREAT cook. I take a lot of pride in being a great cook.”
“It’s something I love and know I am good at.”
“That being said, stop demanding that others eat your food the way you think they should.”
“Everyone’s palate is different, and adding some heat to a dish is not a critique of your cooking.”
“A food critic (I think the icon Ruth Reichl) would always ask for salt before she ordered, even at the fanciest restaurants in the world.”
“The servers would argue that the chefs had perfectly seasoned the food and that additional salt would ruin the dish.”
“The chefs would get offended that she was saying they under-seasoned the food.”
“But she correctly insisted that everyone’s salt preferences are different, and the chefs could not decide how much salt she enjoyed in her dish.”
“Don’t be a prima Dona about your cooking. Let people eat things the way they like.”- TheOvator
Then some understood why the OP was offended by their wife’s actions but nonetheless felt they overreacted and should have let their wife eat her soup however she wanted to:
“Gonna have to say NAH.”
“I get that you want her to try first, but I am pretty sure it is not the first time for her to eat your food.”
“So I am pretty sure she knows the way you season and it seems like she just likes food more peppery.”
“She was not mean about it, and she didn’t ruin the dish.”
“Howeve,r the way you talk about her, it seems like there is a way bigger issue here.”
“You seem really upset in general with her.”
“Also her reaction shows that this is not the first time this discussion has happened.”- sarella93
It’s not uncommon for a cook to be offended when someone adds additional seasoning to the meal they just cooked for them.
Whether or not they had tasted it already.
Even so, the OP might want to remember that it is never attractive to gloat.
And perhaps they should let others declare how good their cooking is before they announce it themselves…