If Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford taught us anything is to “Treat Yo’ Self!”
We deserve to buy nice things for ourselves now and then. But, if we’re spending a large amount of money, we should give our partner a heads up.
Redditor n1plepiercingAITA encountered this very issue with his wife. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for getting pissed off at my wife for how much she spent on her nipple piercing?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“A few months ago my (31M) wife (26F) got one of her nipples pierced. At first she just had a barbell with metal beads, but the other day she got an upgrade.”
“Not long after I got home from work she told me she’d got some new beads for it. She showed me it and I saw two diamonds on it. I asked her if the diamonds were real and she confirmed they are.”
“When I asked how much she paid she said $3800. I could not believe it.”
“At this point I got extremely pissed off. I basically told her that I thought spending that amount of money, especially on something that except me, the doctor and a few of her girl friends is going to even see, was incredibly irresponsible.”
“I also thought that she could’ve at least consulted me before spending a sum like that (I don’t think I would spend more than $250 without consulting her).”
OP’s wife was taken aback.
“She basically said that I was overreacting.”
“She said she just sees it as her getting something nice for herself once in a while and doesn’t care that nobody else will even see it. She also pointed out that she’s not brought us into debt or anything over it and that we are doing pretty well financially.”
“She kinda has a point.”
“We’ve actually fared pretty well financially despite everything that’s happened so it’s not going to break the bank and she’s normally pretty good with money.”
“But, at the same time I still think she was out of line to splurge so much without even giving me a heads up. And I still think there’s better uses of $3800 than a piercing.”
OP provided also added.
“Edit: just to clarify, she took it from the joint account.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“It’s odd that you don’t already have a standing rule along the lines of ‘If either of us wants to spend more than $600 on a purchase, we will consult the other person first.'”
“EDIT: OP states that the money was taken from a shared account. NTA. She can spoil herself, but she should absolutely be talking to you first for anything that involves a comma in the price.” ~ SecretRatto
“My SO and I don’t have any ‘consult first before spending over x amount’ rule, and while I think she shops and spends too much, which does add up. I can’t ever imagine her in a single purchase dropping thousands without at least a hint that the purchase was on her mind before then.”
“I certainly can’t imagine doing so myself. I think it is a safe assumption, unless mega millionaires, but I guess people can surprise you sometimes.” ~ Mr_Slugworth
“I agree.”
“I think the comments saying a nipple ring is a silly thing to spend money on are off base; most of the time, discretionary spending is personal and someone out there will find it silly or unnecessary.”
“The important issue is spending almost $4k from a joint account without discussing it first.” ~ AtlanticToastConf
Some Redditors shared their piercing knowledge.
“As someone who’s a piercing enthusiast, I was fully expecting to come in to this post and have to explain to the OP that ~$100 for a nipple piercing is the standard price for going to a knowledgeable piercer who uses high quality jewelry.”
“I was completely wrong, holy crap. $3800 is definitely a completely absurd amount to take from a joint account without having a discussion about it first.” ~ ertrinken
“NTA. I have both of mine done, and in total (piercings and jewelry for both) it was maximum $400.”
“$3800? That’s absolutely insane.” ~ Aardeehar
“I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find a comment like this. $3,800 for a single nipple piercing is ludicrous. The real AH is whoever did the piercing.” ~ GayGoth98
“Yeah I also got a feeling this girl might have been up swindled.”
“I have several friends with nipple piercings, I know for sure none them ever spent more than $600 for the process and piercing itself. Even the white gold ones cost a lot, but nothing close to $4k, that’s absurd.” ~ Summoning-Freaks
“It’s absolutely insane but my first thought was ‘did she go to Maria Tash?'”
“Some of their jewelry costs definitely go above the $1000 and if that’s for both nips then I can see it, as much as it’s unthinkable in my mind to spend that money on single pieces of body jewelry.” ~ vagueconfusion
Most agree that’s just a lot of money.
“Also, think about what else $3800 could pay for.”
“I’m currently saving for a wedding and that is more than the cost of the venue. That’s more than I paid for my car, more than my SO and I paid for flights and 10 nights in Thailand.” ~ TryNotToBridezilla
“NTA based on your edit that it came out of the joint account.”
“Nearly 4 thousand dollars should definitely be discussed and agreed to before either of you spends that much from joint money. Honestly, I would tell her that she needs to replace all but $250 from her own personal spending money.” ~ the_last_basselope
“NTA – Unless you’re pulling down decent 6-figure income, $3800 is a large enough chunk of money that there should be a consult or discussion if it’s coming from joint funds, especially if it’s not a necessary purchase. Here’s an example of how something like that should go:”
“‘Hey, I’m feeling a little down, I’d like to buy something nice for myself.'”
“‘Ok, we’re doing decent financially, try to keep it below $_x_ amount.'”
“This production has been brought to you by the Normal Human Interaction Company.” ~ Sneaky__Fox85
Treat yourself, but within reason.