Being a good friend with manners means helping whenever you can.
Especially, if those meant to be helping are not doing their job. But, some people think lending an extra hand is stepping on other’s toes.
Redditor bridalshower_aita encountered this very issue with her friend. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for ‘acting like a bridesmaid’?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Throwaway because I’m not sure if anyone else involved in this uses Reddit.”
“My friend ‘Carrie’ had her bridal shower last weekend. I was staying with her since we don’t live near each other, so I went a couple hours early with her.”
“When we got to the venue, it was just Carrie, Carrie’s MOH (who is six months pregnant), Carrie’s mom, and two of Carrie’s aunts there to help set up. So I offered to help and spent a couple hours setting up decorations and getting food ready.”
“None of Carrie’s bridesmaids showed up until 10 minutes before the shower started.”
OP helped out however she could.
“During the shower itself I didn’t do much, but while Carrie was opening presents I was on trash duty.”
“Carrie’s MOH was writing down who gave Carrie what, one bridesmaid was recording Carrie, and one was giving presents to Carrie. Rather than let all the trash pile up, I offered to put it in a garbage bag as Carrie was done with it so her mom could sit back and watch her open presents.”
“When the shower ended her bridesmaids left, leaving Carrie, her MOH, her mom, her two aunts, and her fiancé (who had shown up for the end) to clean everything up and get all the gifts to Carrie’s car. I had to wait on a ride anyway, so I helped them clean everything up.”
One of the bridesmaids reached out to OP.
“A few days later, I got a Facebook message from one of the bridesmaids.”
“She said I shouldn’t have stepped in and acted like a bridesmaid because it wasn’t my place. I explained that I wasn’t trying to act like a bridesmaid at all, and that while I was there I just figured I should help out.”
“She reiterated that wasn’t my place and I should have left it to the actual bridesmaids.”
“I didn’t think I was being an a**hole, but a couple of my friends who know what happened think I might have stepped on some toes and acted like an a**hole.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA – Maybe that bridesmaid should have acted like a bridesmaid then.”
“But also you were acting like the good friend that you are. You don’t need an official label/role to act like that.” ~ Not_Cleaver
“OP acted like a caring friend and thoughtful guest, keeping bride and mother of bride free to enjoy the day.”