There’s nothing more exciting than finally going on a trip with one of your closest friends which you’ve been talking about doing for years.
Though, no matter how close you are, friends don’t always make the most reliable travel companions.
Upon arrival at your destination, you might find yourself surprised to discover that you and your friend have completely different ideas of how you want to spend the trip, resulting in a less-than-relaxing escape.
Then there’s the matter of money.
Redditor Icy_Angle_6118 was looking forward to going on vacation with one of her closest friends.
Dampening the original poster (OP)’s excitement, however, was when her friend decided to invite her boyfriend to join them on the trip.
Causing issues before they even arrived at the airport, owing to how the OP’s friend believed they should split the bill.
Wondering if she was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not wanting to split our vacation costs evenly with my friend after she invited her boyfriend without asking me?”
The OP explained why she became anything but excited for her upcoming trip with her friend after she decided to bring her boyfriend along.
“My friend (27 F[emale]) and I (29 F) planned a vacation together to a tropical destination.”
“We booked a two-bedroom villa and agreed to split the costs 50/50.”
“Everything was going great until a week before the trip when she told me she had invited her boyfriend (28 M[ale]) to join us without asking me first.”
“I was annoyed that she didn’t discuss it with me before inviting him.”
“However, she argued that she should be able to bring her boyfriend along since we’re both adults and he wouldn’t affect my vacation experience.”
“In fact, she insisted that he would be sharing her bedroom, so there wouldn’t be any extra costs for accommodation.”
“Despite my reservations, I decided to go along with it.”
“But then I suggested that we should split the costs three ways instead of 50/50, as there would now be three of us on the trip.”
“She disagreed, stating that since they’re sharing a bedroom and not causing any extra expenses, the 50/50 split was still fair.”
“I think it’s unfair for me to pay half of the costs when there will be three of us on the trip.”
“However, she argues that her boyfriend’s presence won’t increase the costs and that I’m trying to make her pay more than her fair share.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole being unwilling to pay half the cost of the vacation.
Everyone agreed that the OP shouldn’t pay for her friend’s boyfriend’s share of the vacation, and if the costs were to be split evenly, it should be three ways, not two.
“Please do not help pay for your friend and her boyfriend to take a vacation.”
“Back out if you can.”
“I doubt you will enjoy yourself and you will resent them for taking advantage of you.”
“Btw they absolutely are taking advantage of you.”
“It is two people getting a trip for the price of one while you are subsidies the 3rd person.”- Such-Awareness-2960
“Splitting 3 ways is fair although I’d just back out.”
“She wants you to subsidize her romantic getaway.”- Hopeful-Chipmunk6530
“Her inviting her boyfriend without telling you is just downright rude because despite what she says, it will affect your experience too.”
“You’re now a third wheel instead of someone on a trip with a friend.”
“Is it too late to back out?”- violaflwrs
“NTA because you’re staying in a villa.”
“They might be sharing a room but you’re now sharing the non-bedroom part of the villa with another person.”
“Unless he’s going to sit in the room the whole time he’s taking up shared space and he has to pay for shared space.”
“Thirds is fair even though they’re sharing a room because you’ll be a third wheel now he’s going.”- Ok-Raspberry7884
“Your ‘friend’ knew way ahead of time she was going to invite the boyfriend without telling you.”
“She’s treating you like a chump and will obviously not be spending time with you now.”
“The entire dynamic of this trip is different.”
“Not sure what type of traveler’s precautions/insurance you took but you may look into rebooking the entire trip.”- Bear_Aspirin_00
“NTA fully cancel if you can or bring someone for your room a friend or bf or whatever.”- BriefHorror
“When 3 adults go on vacation, the costs should be split 3 ways.”
“That’s perfectly reasonable.”
“You’re sharing most of the space and the experience, after all.”
“It’s seriously an AH move to invite a tag-along on a vacation without talking to the other people going on the trip.”
“It’s the worst when the trip was originally planned for 2 friends and one adds their SO, because it means that either it’ll turn into couple’s trip with one of the original travelers being a third wheel the whole trip or it’ll stay a friend’s trip with a grumpy left-out SO tagging along.”
“I guess at best, you might alternate who gets left out.”
“Unless you’re in one of those rare situations where the group is already working as a trio, but those really are quite rare.”- KaliTheBlaze
“I get what your friend is saying about it not costing anymore to have him there but by inviting him, she downgraded your trip from a girls’ trip to a trip where you’re the third wheel so you should get third wheel pricing on the trip.”
“You’re not making her pay for your vacation, you’re making sure every adult is paying their own way.”
“As much as she thinks otherwise, this trip WILL change with him joining; there’s a reason it was a friends trip and not a ‘friends +1″ trip’.”
“My personal advice is to find your own roommate or back out now.”- P00rExecution
“That way they’ll each have their own room.”
“Your friend is using you to get a cheaper getaway where her focus will be on her boyfriend and not on your friendship is rude and manipulative.”
“In your place, I would back out of the trip.”
“Having her other half there makes you the third wheel and is totally not okay.”- spicey_tea
“A d*ck move on her part to suddenly invite her boyfriend and change the dynamic of the vacation without consulting you first.”
“Your friend is basically planning to pay 1/4 each with her bf while you pay half.”
“Nice cheap vacation for them.”
“It should be either split in 3 or you should bail.”
“Or invite someone to share your room with you and split that cost.”
“If you do go make sure you’re able and willing to do everything by yourself.”
“She’s going to be off with her boyfriend, leaving you out.”
“At this point even if she reluctantly agrees to 1/3 each she may ice you out on the trip anyways.”
“It’s no longer a friend trip, it’s a couple’s vacation with you as the third wheel.”- Zeklleth
“Yeah this would be a non negotiable for me.”
“A week before the trip! I’d cancel it instead, it wouldn’t be about the money but the lack of respect for me!”- OneExamination5599
“She is the a**hole for inviting her boyfriend on a girls’ trip.”
“Cancel, the friendship is over.”
“The trip will be horrible because they will be doing couple things and you will be left out completely.”
“I would not go with them under any circumstances, especially as she expects him to get a free ride.”- GardenGood2Grow
“Either cancel or bring a companion of your own because it’s gonna suck third-wheeling with a couple on a tropical trip.”- DelightedLurker
“NTA and I guarantee you, they planned this.”
“You’re contributing to their romantic vacation and now you’re a third wheel.”
“I’d pull myself, and my money, out.”
“Then they can split it 50/50 and enjoy themselves the way they obviously want to and have sneakily planned to, they just can no longer do it at at your expense.”- LusciousMalfoy92
“So she’s not only a RUDE AH, She’s a f*cking dumb one too.”
“She will be paying LESS if you split it three ways………..UNLESS her BF is a mooch.”
“It SHOULD be split three ways because………3 PEOPLE ARE GOING ON THE DAMN TRIP.”
“Go on the trip (unless you’re able to get your money back) and ignore them both.”
“This won’t be a fun trip for you when she is THIS rude and inconsiderate before the f*cking trip even started.”
“OR……Give her the biggest middle finger ever and invite YOUR friend, spend your trip with said friend and split your 50% in 2.”
“That’s a WIN/WIN for YOU.”
“You don’t have to be the ‘3rd wheel’ all the time AND you only pay 25%.”
Splitting the bill evenly isn’t always the most fair solution.
Such as if you’re at a restaurant, and the rest of your party orders a much more expensive meal than you do.
Or, in this case, if the OP’s boyfriend doesn’t pay a cent, and is partially treated to this vacation by the OP.
Who will hopefully stand her ground, and make him pay up.