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Woman Balks After She’s Called ‘Antiquated’ For Not Wearing A Bikini To The Beach

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Clothing is a very personal decision.

While some people are comfortable wearing just about anything, others greatly prefer not to wear certain types of clothing, not to mention certain cuts.

This is especially true when it comes to beach attire, which generally requires revealing a bit more skin than we do in our day to day attire.

Redditor Live-Albatross-4201 greatly preferred to wear a certain type of swimsuit, and avoid wearing another, extremely popular style.

But her choice of bathing suit did not sit well with the new girlfriend of a friend of her’s, who let her disapproval be known, loud and clear.

Wondering if her beach attire was truly so offensive, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for not wearing bikini at the beach?”

The OP explained how a recent beach trip also served as an occasion to meet the new girlfriend of a friend, who did not leave a great first impression, and had a lot to say about the OP’s choice of bathing suit.

“I was at the beach with some friends and one of the girl brought her girlfriend with her.”

“It was the first time our group was meeting her.”

“We tried to be nice to her but she had an issue with everything, she didn’t like the cider we brought, didn’t like the spot, water was too cold, it was too sunny.”

“You name it.”

“But the biggest issue she seemed to have was with my attire.”

“I have normal body build, perhaps on the skinnier side but not underweight.”

“I don’t like bikinis, it’s nothing religious, nor cultural, I don’t care if you wear them, I simply don’t and feel way more comfortable in 2 piece swim suit which is shorts and spaghetti strap like top.”

“It’s still a swimming suit, it’s just one I prefer.”

“I am also pale AF and am not a fan of sunbathing.”

“Again, you do you, I don’t feel any need for it, so whenever I wasn’t swimming, I put on a linen shirt on and covered my legs with towel so they don’t burn.”

“She didn’t seem to appreciate that and asked me about this and asked why Im not wearing normal bikini and I told her exactly what I told you above but she told me to cut the crap.”

“Apparently, I am what’s wrong with women being ashamed of their bodies that instead of wearing what I want, I feel the need to cover up.”

“That despite being skinny, I put enormous pressure on other women because if I am covering up, they would assume that they would have to.”

“Honestly, I was taken aback, didn’t really know how to respond so I told her ‘sure, whatever’ and went for a swim.”

“I thought she would drop the subject but she started again when I came back.”

“I tried to explain my position, but she wouldn’t listen, telling me how I am just liking to myself.”

“My friend (the one who invited her) stepped in and said that it’s time to leave and the two of them left.”

“She made sure to call me ridiculous before she left.”

“About 2 hours after they left, I got a message from the new girl, berating me for my antiquated views.”

“She also called me an asshole for making other women feel worse about themselves.”

“And I am just confused AF.”

“Was I really an asshole for not wearing a bikini?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for wearing her more conservative swimming attire to the beach.

Everyone agreed that the new girlfriend was being incredibly obnoxious, and that no one but the OP should have any opinion on her choice of clothes.


“Why would anyone feel the entitled to tell you what to wear?”- GundyGalois


“I don’t wear bikinis either.”

“The reason they make other bathing suits is literally so people can have the option, and there’s nothing wrong with what you chose.”

“Idk if she was jealous of you or just frankly crazy, but either way I would stop talking to her asap because that’s a very toxic way to be, and you don’t need that in your life.”- Solaris_Luna


“‘Hey, maybe you’re being misogynistic by telling me I have to wear a bikini to make others feel like they can’.”

“‘I wear my 2 piece because it’s comfortable and what I want to wear’.”

“‘Wearing a bikini doesn’t make a role model’.”

“‘As a woman, I should be able to wear as much or as little as I damn well please and to say I cant actually the problem’.”

“”You’re being a huge asshole about my body where you have no business commenting on it, especially when you should be fighting for women to be able to wear whatever the hell they want, including what I wore’.”

“‘Please keep your disgusting opinions to yourself’.”- Snoo_68114

“You did wear what you wanted to wear.”

“NTA.”- Anovadea


“You do you.”

“Wear what you feel comfortable in.”

“She was way out of line, and needs to keep her ridiculous opinions to herself.”- Lenaballerina


“You do you.”

“Wear what you feel comfortable in.”

“She was way out of line, and needs to keep her ridiculous opinions to herself.”- Lenaballerina


“Your friends are toxic AF.”

“I also have fair skin and wear a rash guard (surf shirt) every time i swim so I don’t have to worry about shoulders and back burning.”

“I also have a wide brimmed hat i bring to help shade my neck and face.”

“Also same as you, if I am sitting at a pool or beach you can almost assuredly bet that my legs will be under a towel unless we are in the shade.”

“You don’t need those people in your life and THEY are what is wrong with society today, trying to gatekeeper what people should/shouldn’t wear.”- mikeyj198

“She has some issues she needs to work on and not project on to others.”

“NTA, obviously.”- KimWexlers_Ponytail


“She’s an idiot.”-Traditional_Fortune6



“Also, it sounds like SHE is one of the reasons ppl struggle with body image.”

“Having a particular body type does not mean you have to dress any certain way.”

“I feel people should dress how they are most comfortable & confident.”

“But I do wish ppl in general could be more accepting of their own bodies.”

“I know I need to work on that.”- kimmie1223


“If you had worn a bikini she would have taken issue with that in some way.”

“She was looking for something to criticize.”

“It didn’t even have to be about swimsuits.”- jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj


“Where the heck was her girlfriend in all of this?”

“Why wasn’t she telling her to stop the wildly unreasonable behavior?”

“They both owe you an apology.”- SupergirlKrypton

“Find better friends.”

“NTA.”- Steigy73


“You are the one wearing the swimsuit.”

“Be comfortable in your choice.”- Bookworm3616

“‘Hey, just wanted to reach out and apologize’.”

“‘I did some reflecting and realized I was in the wrong at the beach’.”

“‘I should have been more aware of how fragile your self esteem is and barked like a dog at your every command’.”

“‘Next time we’re together I’ll wear lingerie to prove how sexy and body positive I am, because what really matters isn’t my own comfort but conforming to the demands of others like a real woman should’.”

“NTA.”- DeerDragon3E



“Your friends are offensive and strange.”

“Why do you hang with these people?”

“For you to actually think that you are an asshole for not wearing a bikini cause a complete stranger thought you should, is troubling on its own.”

“I get that you were caught off guard by the behavior to render you speechless, however, you need to either speak up and tell her that what you wear should be no concern of hers.”

“Or, walk away.”

“Just cause someone is offensive to you doesn’t mean to you have to take it.”

“If that were me, I would have told my ‘friend’ who brought her, that she needs to leave now.”

“Unreal!”- Shoo_B_Doo_B_Doo


“Everyone should be able to wear what they want.”

“If it’s not inappropriate for the situation.”- Domiodine

“NTA you have the right to wear the kind of swimming suit you prefer, unless the local laws have something against it.”- LookAtNarnia

Why another person’s outfit would bother the girlfriend of the OP’s friend as much as it did is very confusing indeed.

Leaving one to imagine that the rest of this group might not be eager to go on many future group outings with her.

Leaving one to hope that the OP and the rest of the group weren’t that close to the friend that brought her.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.