We all feel self-conscious about our bodies every now and then.
Often finding a way to make certain attainable changes, but bemoaning the things about our bodies which no amount of exercise, or surgery, can change.
Many also find themselves jealous of other’s physical appearance, even if they too probably wish there was something about themselves which was different.
For all we know, whatever reservations we might have about our appearance, others might find themselves jealous of us.
Redditor thr94011867hd saw herself undergo a significant change to her body, owing to truly unfortunate circumstances.
But in the eyes of a guest at a friend’s wedding, she was the pinnacle of perfection, resulting in the guest hounding the original poster (OP) for her secret.
Feeling less than flattered, the OP gave a bluntly honest response, which did not sit well with the guest in question or the groom.
Worried she was being insensitive, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for saying my secret workout routine is depression?
The OP explained how a guest at her best friend’s wedding wanted to know the secret to her svelte physique, which she shared in a blunt and honest fashion.
“I (25 F[emale]) had a miscarriage in early January this year.”
“I lost my mother to a completely unexpected heart attack in February.”
“We used to be very, very close and her death, coupled with the loss of my child devastated me.”
“I slipped into depression, developed anorexia, and lost a huge amount of weight in a very short time.”
“I used to be 165 pounds and now I’m at 120 pounds.”
“I attended my best friend’s wedding yesterday, a tiny ceremony.”
“It was the first social event I attended this year after my ‘transformation’.”
“There was an acquaintance there who seemed enthralled by my body.”
“She’s very into fitness but she’s not someone I am particularly close and she kept asking me about diet plans and said that she needed to know my ‘secret workout routine’ for her clients.”
“I politely deflected the questions at first and said something along the lines of ‘I just was not in a good place, lost my appetite and it just happened’.”
“But she kept pestering me and said I should help other people lose weight too.”
“I lost my patience and told her that ‘I actually developed an eating disorder and severe depression’.”
“‘I don’t think your clients would like this routine’.”
“She made a face and left me alone for the day.”
“I thought this would be the end of it.”
“Turns out, after the celebrations were over, she went and complained to my best friend’s husband, she’s his sister, and he called me and asked me to apologize for ’embarrassing his sister on his wedding’.”
“I’ve refused to apologize as of now and I’m not sure if I should.”
“AITA for telling an acquaintance that my workout routine was depression?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for honestly telling the groom’s sister the source of her weight loss.
Just about everyone was shocked that the groom’s sister continued to pester the OP after she already answered, with others pointing out that the groom shouldn’t have scolded her when she admitted the source of her weight oss was depression.
“Don’t ever apologize to this woman.”
“She should apologize to you.”
“You told her gently what had happened & she kept hassling you until you told her bluntly.”
“If she got her feelings hurt that is 100% her fault.”
“NTA and I hope you’re in a better place now.”- Darcy-Pennell
“She pushed the subject after you tried to shut it down politely.”
“She got the truth she was pushing for and it’s not your problem that she didn’t like the answer she got when she was being invasive and frankly obnoxious.”
“I was taught that it’s rude to comment excessively about someone’s appearance, even if it’s complimentary.”
“Say the nice thing and leave it alone, and if it turns out you’re making the other person uncomfortable, apologize and stop the behavior.”
“The fact that she thinks YOU owe HER an apology is likely a reaction to feeling you embarrassed her, when she really embarrassed herself.”
“I lost a lot of weight a number of years ago due to simply not having the money to buy food.”
“I was living on rice and lima beans for months.”
“When people asked how I lost the weight because I ‘looked so good now’, I would straight up say ‘poverty’.”
“They’d normally back off and change the subject.”
“I don’t feel bad and neither should you.”
“Your body is no one else’s business and those who don’t respect that boundary should be prepared for the backlash.”- burntasawitch
“Hell no you won’t be apologizing, and if your supposed best friend knew how your year has been they’re ridiculously callous!”
“‘[Best friend], you know I’m still grieving from my family losses this year’.”
“‘She wanted to use my trauma as a weight loss regimen’.”
“‘I was vague about my weight loss not being fitness or workout-related to avoid this but she would. Not. Stop’.”
“‘Her embarrassment is 100% due to her not leaving me the f**k alone when I literally told her my weight loss is because I wasn’t in a good place this year’.”
“I look forward to HER apology for forcing me to overshare my medical conditions so she wouldn’t promote neglect to her clients.”- IMTonks
“I thought it was becoming common knowledge that you don’t comment or compliment someone on their weight unless you know them well enough to know how it happened.”
“You tried to deflect nicely and she wouldn’t stop.”
“Honestly if I was her, I would have realized what I did was out of line and apologized to you by now.”-External_Outcome5678
“I also see such a crazy pattern in these questions:’
“OP is pushed by a person’s rude behavior until they have to firmly set boundaries with the Rude Person.”
“Rude Person, a grown adult, is affronted and ‘tattles’ to the host.”
“Host, also a grown adult, takes it upon themselves to speak to OP on behalf of Rude Person.”
“What is happening here?”
“If Rude Person has a problem with OP’s boundaries, then say something.”
“How do grown adults behave like children like this?”
“How does Host not just look at them and say, ‘this is not my problem?!'”- butnotTHATintoit
“I have seen so many posts like this too!”
“Your acquaintance kept pestering you for it, and wouldn’t stop until she got an answer.”- Stitchdacat
“She was rude.”
“She violated social boundaries by asking repeatedly and badgering, honestly, for people struggling with long-term weight loss, asking once is rude, let alone repeatedly.”
“It’s pretty obvious too why it’s considered rude: this is personal stuff and no one knows what is going on in another person’s life.”
“Not to mention that this person supposedly has ‘clients’ but no knowledge of how to plan exercise or nutrition?”
“If this is her job, she needs to get an actual education about such things, not interrogate random acquaintances at weddings.”
“Shockingly, in this family, one person with no sense of proper boundaries or etiquette has a brother with no sense of boundaries or etiquette.”
“Don’t give this matter a second thought.”
‘And feel free to avoid them in general.”- kaevas
“I actually don’t think even the last thing you said was rude.”
“She should’ve just said ‘Oh, I didn’t realize’, and moved on.”- grandramble
“I lost weight once because I just couldn’t keep solid food inside and people were praising me for looking amazing and thin and I felt like sh*t.”
“Said that several times before eventually lashing out after an hour.”
“They all did this surprised Pikachu face.”
“The fixation on weight people have is so incredibly dangerous.”
“I actually heard people ‘compliment’ people on their weight after they went through chemotherapy and I just don’t understand why they think these comments are acceptable.”- MoiraMona
“First, I just want to extend my sympathy for the bastard of a year you’ve had.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been.”
“You tried deflecting the questions, you tried being gently honest and she still kept pestering you.”
“If anything, you probably did a good thing by teaching her a lesson.”
“So many people have the idea that weight loss is always a positive thing and don’t stop to think about if it’s the result of an illness or other awful circumstance.”
“It’s an unfortunate byproduct of living is a fat-phobic culture and doesn’t do anyone any good.”
“Good for you for standing up for yourself.”
“If anything, she’s the one that needs to apologize.”
“Hopefully this will stick with her as a reminder not to do it again in future.”- TubbyLittleTeaWitch
It’s hard to imagine how the groom’s sister heard “not in a good place” and became inspired to push the OP to help others look like her.
If anything, one would have thought the groom’s sister should have been the one to offer some sort of help to the OP.
One also can’t help but wonder if the groom’s sister told him the whole, honest story, as not many people would demand someone suffering from depression to apologize for their behavior.
Hopefully, after some time to reflect, they will both offer the OP the apology she deserves.