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Woman With Full-Time Job Called ‘Lazy’ For Refusing To Pack Weekly Lunches For Husband’s Colleagues

Photo by Sander Dalhuisen/Unsplash

Name calling is never kind.

It is especially unkind when in a relationship.

And why would you insult someone who is doing you a favor, just because they care?

Case in point…

Redditor ThrowAITApackedlunch to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not wanting to pack lunches for my husband’s colleagues?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“To start off I love cooking and since me and my husband had gotten married earlier this year one of my ways of expressing affection towards him is by making packed lunches.”

“I also try out different cuisines every week or so depending on how I feel.”

“I usually wake up quite early to prepare his lunches because I also work full time.”

“Getting to the point, my husband’s colleagues eventually started taking notice and my husband capitalised on that opportunity, because one of them is a manager.”

“And my husband was finding a way to coax him in hopes of getting a better position at work.”

“However the problem arises when without my permission he went ahead and spoke on my behalf that I will pack lunches for them too.”

“When he came back home and told me I was quite disappointed because even though I love making lunches for him, for his colleagues (people I don’t even know) it seemed exhausting.”

“Moreover it is not just for one person which he initially had me believed but rather 5 OF HIS COLLEAGUES.”

“I tried it out for one day to make my husband happy, I had to wake up at 3:30 ish that day because my own work starts at 8.”

“I was almost late for work and had to rush through everything.”

“It was not a pleasant experience.”

“Long story short however, that day I made thai packed lunches (I made green curry, tom yum flavored wings, prawn fritters and thai fried rice) and they all enjoyed it.”

“Now my husband is thinking of making it a weekly thing where every week I make a different cuisine for them for any one of the weekdays.”

“Although that may seem ‘easy’ I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“I do like sharing the food I make but I don’t want it to feel like a chore.”

“My husband however thinks I’m the AH because he mentions that it is only once per week and that I’m just being lazy.”

“Well he is not wrong, I am lazy but I also just don’t want to make food for his colleagues.”

“The lunches I make are for my husband to enjoy.”

“For some reason my husband thinks I’m being unreasonable and that I don’t support him because by me doing this he believes they will be more inclined to give him a raise or a promotion or even a recommendation at work.”

“I just find it pretentious that he has to depend on the food I make for a promotion.”

“I am sure that he can get a promotion by his own merit because he is a very smart and accomplished man himself.”

“I feel kind of torn between the idea of whether to continue making lunches ONLY for him or whether I should take that extra effort and make one, once every week for his colleagues too.”

“Besides the money to make these lunches (even if only once a week) comes from my pocket too, which still if we add all 4 times in a month would be a fair too much just for food.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“F**k this into orbit. If they give him a promotion on the basis of wifey making lunches for everyone, it’s a shit place to work.”

“I was so angry I almost forgot – NTA.”  ~ appydawg

“Well if it’s YOUR lunches that get him the promotion, than YOU should get half of his salary too.”

“If he wants to smooch, he can make his own lunches.”

“And the nerve to have you pay for this too!”

“He’ll get ahead due to YOUR work, and you LOSE money from that?”

“Hell no.”  ~ Jazzisa

“He can order some effing food from some restaurant the day before and pack it himself, for his own effing money.”

“You’re doing all the work while he gets all the praise.”

“You pay out of your pocket at the expense of him maybe getting a raise yet he claim you are lazy?”

“Get outta here with that pathetic boy.”

“NTA, stop making his food and indulge in his own words by living up to his idea of you being ‘lazy.'” ~ BraidedSilver

“Honestly, on top of being an absolutely sh**ty way to treat you, in my opinion your husband is a fool if he thinks this will get him a promotion.”

“Occasionally chipping in on extra beer is one thing, but personally providing lunch for everyone is just sucking up and that does not earn respect.”

“In fact, your husband might get into a situation where people don’t want to promote him because they like being able to take advantage of him to get free food.”  ~ crockofpot

“Ugh. Just stop it.”

“It was almost too much to make just HIM a big, elaborate lunch every day, when you have your own job to get to at 8.”

“But having you make 6 lunches?!? Heck no! “

“That is asking way too much. NTA but your husband is for sure.”

“Show him this thread.”  ~ loridrum

“NTA. If he wants to feed his co-workers, he can get up early and cook the lunches himself.”

“And the fact that he offered to 5 people without even consulting you first makes him a huge AH.” ~ awshucks79

OP jumped in to discuss a bit more…

“Thank you, yeah that was the part that disappointed me too.”

“Now I’m lowkey scared of them because in case I refuse and if there comes a situation where I have to meet them it will be embarrassing.”

“But it’s okay, I really can’t cook for 5 people 😂 especially within the limited time frame I have in the morning.”  

“That is the answer! NTA.”

“Next time this happens, I’d make sure hubby had to go shopping for all the ingredients and his a** would definitely be up at 3:30 as well, doing all the prep work and clean up.”

“Chances are, it wouldn’t go over well.”

“It’s only ok because he doesn’t have to put in any effort.”   ~ lisalef

“No one in a professional environment would think this is a normal ask.”

“This whole thing is just so bizarre.”

“I am a stay at home mom. I’ve got 4 kids. I’m busy.”

“I also love to bake and cook.”

“My husband would never ever ever disrespect me or my time by volunteering me to cook for his colleagues.”

“If he suggested what your husband did all he would get is a very hearty laugh and a NO.”

“My husband gets ahead at work by being excellent at his job.”

“Do I sometimes send cookies in with him when I overbake?”

“Sure! And they appreciate it. Never demand.”

“And if I do pack a lunch for my husband it’s because we had food leftover from dinner the night before.”

“I toss it in some Tupperware and he’s good to go.”

“He wouldn’t dream of asking me to make a whole a** fresh meal at 3:30 in the morning.”

“What your husband is asking you is off the rails crazy. It’s disrespectful.”

“Any colleague who would say something to you is not worth worrying about, because that tells on them and what kind of disrespectful person they are too.”  ~ Emergency-Willow

“NTA, at all. Not even the slightest.”

“YOU wake up early.”

“YOU prepare his lunch out of the kindness of your own heart.”

“He’s taking advantage of your generosity and using it for selfish means.”

“I think you need to remind him that it is an act of love, and you weren’t obligated to make his lunches to begin with.”  ~ Substantial-Fox-8471

“Don’t be fooled OP. He isn’t ‘just a foodie.'”

“A foodie values good food.”

“He implies that the money and work you put in is not a big deal and devalues it.”

“He acts very ungrateful.”

“Also the he thought of making it a weekly thing and then start calling you lazy is not okay either.”

“You are not lazy. He is.”

“He could make those lunches and pay for them.”

“Isn’t this his job and his promotion/raise?!”  ~ CakeEatingRabbit

“You woke up at 3AM?!?!?! Did I read that right???”

“And you’re calling yourself lazy?!??? Seriously.”

“When has he done nothing for you ON A REGULAR BASIS that forced him to wake up super early and put in effort for your happiness?”

“Stop making lunches for your husband.”

“Until he appreciates the effort. “

“Maybe tell him that if he wants them, he needs to be your sou chef.”

“That means early wake up, and an assist in the kitchen.”

“The added bonus is he will learn to make all these awesome dishes and be able to pamper you once in a while as well as his colleagues!”

“Oh, NTA.”  ~ IGotBetter4newt

OP swung back to give us an update…


“Thank you all for the judgments and jokes.”

Looks like OP has Reddit’s support.

Maybe OP’s hubby can help her out in the mornings if he thinks this is important.

Everybody in a marriage needs to pull their weight fairly.