Dogs are known to be very intuitive creatures.
Many people have chosen life partners based on who their dogs liked.
But then there are some questionable issues when one starts to quote their dog’s actual thoughts.
Case in point…
Redditor weddinggifted wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for canceling dinner and going home over something my boyfriend’s dog did?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi. I’ll preface this by saying that I (25 F[emale]) have been seeing Michael (31 M[ale]) for a while now.”
“He’s a really funny (a bit too sarcastic though) guy and we pretty much get along well.”
“We’ve been dating for 4 months.”
“Michael likes the food I cook and he wanted me to come to his house to cook him dinner and also meet his dog for the first time.”
“I only saw him in pictures/videos. He’s overprotective of him.”
“I grabbed all I needed from the store and went over to his house.”
“All went well.”
“I met his dog then we sat down to talk.”
“Suddenly his dog started moving in a funny way.”
“Michael was laughing while looking at me.”
“I felt confused.”
“I asked him what the dog was doing and Michael said that the dog was telling him about me.”
“I was like ‘ummm okay?'”
“And then he flat-out said that the dog thought I was ‘ugly.'”
“This shocked me completely.”
“I looked at Michael and asked if he was serious.”
“He started explaining that his dog is ‘like that’ with ‘some’ people and that I shouldn’t get offended over an ‘animal’s behavior.'”
“I felt horrible because I, as a person always struggled with self-esteem and am no stranger to the word ‘ugly.'”
“My issue wasn’t with the dog but with what Michael said.”
“It’s like he was indirectly giving HIS opinion about my looks and using his dog as an excuse.”
“Long story short we had an argument and I ended up canceling dinner and going home.”
“Michael called several times.”
“Then when I picked up he was lashing out the entire time saying that I overreacted and that I cannot blame him and punish him for something his dog did.”
“He advised me to get rid of the ‘toxic’ sensitivity I have and deal with whatever insecurity I have as soon as possible.”
“Because what happens will set the tone for our relationship and eventually our marriage later.”
“I did respond later which caused another argument.”
“My sister said I messed things up with my stupidity and that I should’ve laughed it off but for some reason, I wasn’t able to.”
“Did I overreact here? AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“So, wait a minute.”
“He’s continuing to blame his dog for insulting you and is sticking to his story that his dog (not him) thinks you’re ugly?”
“This guy is… just… yikes.”
“I, personally, wouldn’t marry someone who communicates by ‘translating’ his dog’s mean-spirited thoughts.”
“That’s a whole different level of passive aggressiveness. Wow. NTA.” ~ prairiemountainzen
“NTA. 4 months relationship, first time in his house, ‘his dog’ called you ugly, and he yells at you about your ‘future marriage,’ RUN, RUN RUN, like the wind.” ~ Dresden_Mouse
“Does your boyfriend think he’s a dog psychic?”
“Dogs don’t think of things as ‘pretty’ and ‘ugly.'”
“These are human concepts.”
“Dogs like or don’t like things.”
“And things they don’t like can generally turn to likes given time.”
“Your boyfriend thought he would use his dog to insult you.”
“Even if he honestly believed his dog thought you were ugly, he didn’t need to tell you that.”
“That was rude of him.”
“And that was something that illustrates his behavior, not his dogs.”
“I also have a dog.”
“But I’ve taught my dog how it’s rude to tell somebody they’re ugly when they’ve come over and they are guests in our house.”
“So she keeps her mouth shut.”
“You are not ugly. Your boyfriend is ugly.”
“His ugliness is on the inside though.”
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
“You are far too beautiful to be with someone so ugly. NTA.” ~ DarcyKnits
“NTA. Additionally, if the dog not only has the ability to have an opinion on human appearances but is also able to communicate that opinion then there is no reason the dog shouldn’t have a basic understanding of conversational manners.”
“So Michael should have defended OP over being called ugly.”
“That or he made the whole thing up to mock OP. Dump him.” ~ TogarSucks
“He advised me to get rid of the ‘toxic’ sensitivity I have and deal with whatever insecurity I have as soon as possible because what happened will set the tone for our relationship and eventually our marriage later.”
“Nope nope nope, 4 months in, and he’s breaking down your self-esteem and complaining about your attitude in your ‘eventual marriage.'”
“NTA, and please don’t see him anymore.” ~ flutterriffic
“NTA. Dogs don’t rate people’s looks.”
“This guy is doing some weird negging stuff.”
“It’s like he’s trying to start breaking you down.”
“If you already have low self-esteem, he could be an opportunist who has recognized this.”
“And he is now going to slowly break you down until you are emotionally dependent on him.”
“If your sister called you stupid for this, I can see you or some of your self-esteem issues came from.” ~ jesstheprequel
“NTA and everyone has already told you why.”
“But let me add this…”
“Say this guy was Dr. Dolittle and could talk to animals.”
“Say his dog did tell him he thinks you’re ugly.”
“Why I mean why would he tell you this?”
“Why would he repeat this to a person he cares about that?”
“Who does that? Would you if the situation was reversed?”
“Or would you make something up and have a word with your rude dog later?”
“I can’t believe I’ve just typed that but you have to see that no matter what insane way you look at it this guy is a wanker.”
“Cut and run now.”
“You’ve only lost 4 months but you’ll lose a lot more if you stay.”
“Tell him you showed his picture to a friend’s parrot and it started screaming ‘Red flag’ so you thought you better take that seriously.” ~ snipersgirl
“NTA. He just did you a huge favor and let you know he’s an abusive, manipulative AH early in your relationship.”
“Break up with him immediately.”
“PS- dogs don’t think anyone is ugly.” ~ DisplacedNY
“You did not overreact. NTA.”
“You need to stop responding and be done with this toxic AH.”
“He is not worth your time.”
“Thankfully, you learned this early.”
“By the way, if you find a future bf is a ‘bit too sarcastic,’ that might mean that person is not the right fit for you as you find them unkind but they disguise it as ‘sarcasm.'”
“And your sister is not much better.”
“Does she often disparage you?”
“I think she may be a factor in your struggling with your self-esteem.” ~ BelliAmie
“NTA. Even if ‘his dog said so’ (which I don’t buy for even a microsecond), he could have kept his mouth shut about it and not ‘repeated’ it.”
“So he talked s**t and blamed his dog…”
“Not a person that I would like in my life.” ~ Boring_Possible_1938
“OP do you remember that post where this guy was always telling his girlfriend that she had body odor and she stank.”
“And after all of that and it turned out that he was just saying that because his dad told him it was a way to stop a woman from leaving? Yeah.”
“This is giving those vibes.”
“He wants you to think less of yourself.”
“Also, 4 months and you’ve never been to his place? What’s happening there?”
“Anyway NTA and run.”
“I can hear the red flags flapping in the wind from here.”
“If he thought you were ugly, he wouldn’t be dating you.”
“People do not usually date people they think are ugly.”
“Especially given the short time frame.”
“And I do not believe for one second that…”
“A) dogs view specific people as ugly, I imagine that we don’t look dogs which they think is weird but I don’t think they have a concept of ‘ugly and…”
“B) even if a dog did think you were ugly, that it could communicate it to a human.”
“Especially not your boyfriend. Who seems a bit thick.” ~ Ohmalley-thealliecat
“NTA. Even if ‘his dog said so’ (which I don’t buy for even a microsecond).”
“He could have kept his mouth shut about it and not ‘repeated’ it.”
“So he talked s**t and blamed his dog… not a person that I would like in my life.” ~ Boring_Possible_1938
Well OP, Reddit seems ready to back you.
Talking to and conveying a dog’s “actual” thoughts seems to be a lot to handle.
Put yourself first.
And be beautiful!
Good luck.