Break-ups are never easy.
No matter how amicably some might claim their romantic relationships ended, it’s almost impossible for any break-up not to come with a small amount of pain and regret.
Some breakups also take longer to move on from than others.
But the ex-girlfriend of Redditor throwaway_angryex’s husband apparently still hasn’t come to accept her relationship is over.
In spite of the fact her relationship ended over four years ago, and her ex now has a wife and child.
But after being scolded for her recent behavior towards her husband’s ex by her mother-in-law, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for yelling at my husbands ex girlfriend.”
The OP began by informing readers how her husband’s ex-girlfriend hasn’t shown the slightest interest in moving on from their break-up.
“My (28F[emale]) husband (29M[ale]) and I have been together four years.”
“We have 1 child (2F) together.”
“His ex (29F) has not gotten over their breakup even though it’s been 5 years.”
“I met him around 6 months after they broke up.”
“She went through a lot of lengths to break us up and absolutely lost it when we announced our engagement.”
Not helping matters, the OP’s mother-in-law (MIL) appeared to be taking the side of her son’s ex-girlfriend over the OP.
“She showed up to our wedding in a white wedding dress and we later found out it was because my MIL had invited her as her plus 1.”
“I tried to ignore it to keep the peace until she tried to pour wine on my wedding dress.”
“I lost it at that and kicked her out.”
“We have gone low-contact with MIL since that incident and only keep contact for her to see our daughter.”
However, the OP revealed that would not be her last unpleasant encounter with her husband’s ex-girlfriend.
“His ex girlfriend is still bitter about him breaking up with her and she sometimes does things like follow me to the grocery store or follow my husband and I to our date nights.”
The OP hoped she and her mother-in-law might make amends over Thanksgiving dinner, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened.
“This Thanksgiving, we had a dinner planned for close family and made the mistake of inviting MIL.”
“She brought his ex, and I tried to be polite and set up an extra spot on the table because I didn’t want to be rude.”
“Everything went well until my daughter woke up from her nap before dinner and his ex raced to pick her up.”
“I was behind her and as she picked her up she began saying things like ‘mamas here baby don’t worry mama is here for you’ and I felt very uncomfortable.”
“I then attempted to take my daughter and she wouldn’t let her go and said I should let her have a few seconds in the life she had stolen from her.”
“Let me tell you now. I was seeing red.”
“I told her that what she said was out of line and she needed to leave and not come back.”
“I was done with her ruining things she wasn’t invited to just because my MIL asked her to come.”
“I 100% do not feel like an asshole although my MIL chewed me out afterwards and left.”
“She’s also gotten some of my husbands aunts and cousins on her side so I’m starting to feel bad.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
There was almost no doubt in the mind of Redditors the OP was in no way the a**hole in this particular situation.
Everyone wholeheartedly agreed the behavior of the ex-girlfriend was disturbing to the point of stalking, with many believing the behavior of the OP’s MIL warranted cutting her out of their lives completely, for encouraging the ex-girlfriend’s behavior.
“Cut your MiL out.”
“Stop being polite when she turns up.”
“Seriously I’d speak to the police about a restraining order.”
“Your husband needs to be very clear with his mother that if she ever pulls a stunt like that again she’ll never see her granddaughter.”
“Wow. NTA”- Proud_World_6241
“Your Mother in law is ducking crazy.”
“The ex is hopeless and needs professional help.”
“You’re within your rights to not allow her to touch your daughter especially her being weird with her like that.”
“I wonder why though your mil would do that?”- DrJJGame10
“NTA and you need to press charges for stalking.”
“Not just for your safety but also for your child’s.”
“No sane person does stuff like that.”
“Also, kick MIL to the curb, she’s toxic.”
“She’s not only enabling this behavior but encouraging.”- stefaelia
A number of Redditor’s were also shocked and disappointed by the behavior of the OP’s husband for not taking a firmer stance against his mother and ex-girlfriend sooner.
“But what the f is your husband doing???”
“WHY HASN’T HE SET ANY BOUNDARIES WITH HIS PSYCHO MOTHER AND EX?”
“You have a stalker, MIL problem and a spineless husband.”
“Sorry OP but I’m so angry on your behalf – if nothing I hope this thread shows you how you’ve normalized this insane behavior.”- targayenprincess.
There were a few, however, who faulted the OP for not doing something about her husband’s ex-girlfriend sooner, feeling her past encounters with her should have been more than enough reason not to even let her into the house on Thanksgiving.
“You set a place for this lunatic at the table?”
“Where is your backbone?”
“NTA for yelling, but you (and your husband) should have addressed this a long time ago.”
“MIL needs to be cut off, because she is as demented as the ex.”
“Having her near your child is in no one’s best interests.”
“Particularly not your child’s.”
“And whenever the ex does something like follow you, call the police.”
“Get a restraining order.”
“Also, any family that think any of this is OK can be cut off too.”- Senior-Radio
“You know what?”
“To yourself, to your family, to your child, for still entertaining this ex and your MIL.”
“You want your little girl to grow up hearing horrible things about her mommy that her grandmother says? “
“You want her thinking stalking men is okay if you love them?”
“She has just had the terrifying experience of some STRANGER TOUCHING HER in her own house, where she should be SAFE.”
“You are not protecting your child and she is the ONLY person here who isn’t an AH.”
“You and your husband need to go no contact with the MIL and protect your child.”
“Don’t let crazy strangers in your daughter’s home.”- HavePlushieWillTalk
Indeed, it’s hard to believe any mother, and grandmother, would not only allow someone to behave in a way that could harm her son and his family both physically and emotionally, but even seems to be encouraging it.
Here’s hoping the OP and their family can reach a place of safety, and will have no further encounters with the husband’s ex-girlfriend.