Fed-Up Woman Installs Lock On Fridge To Stop Roommate From 'Stress-Eating' All Her Food

Having compatible roommates who respect boundaries and each other and can respectfully conduct themselves is ideal.

One would think cohabitating with friends is vastly superior to living with strangers chosen out of desperation.

But that was not the case for a Redditor who resorted to taking protective measures in a distressing situation.

When she caused drama by taking matters into her own hands, she visited the "Am I the A** Hole?" subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.

There, Redditor JennyAnonymous asked:

"AITAH for installing a lock on my fridge to stop my roommate from 'stress-eating' my food?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"So, I (30 F[female]) live with my roommate, Sarah (29 F[female]), who has this habit of eating everything in the fridge, whether it's hers or not."

"She always says it's because she's 'stressed' and swears she'll replace it, but my groceries vanish faster than a dating app match after mentioning kids."

"The last straw was when she ate my emotional support tiramisu. For context, I'd spent hours making this tiramisu after a rough week at work. It was my therapy in a dessert."

The OP continued:

"Sarah ate the whole thing without asking and left a note on the empty dish that said, 'Sorry! PMS sucks. I owe you.' That was it. I lost it."

"I ordered a lock for the fridge for my food and moved everything into it. Now Sarah's furious, saying I've 'ruined the vibe of the apartment' and that I'm 'passive-aggressive' for locking her out of the shared fridge."

"She even tried to rally our other roommates against me (spoiler: they also hide their snacks from her)."

"AITAH for locking up my food, or is Sarah just mad she can't steal my serotonin anymore?"

In edits, the OP clarified:

"There is a TEMPORARY lock on the fridge while we figure out a solution."

"We have no proof to go to the cops. We have receipts from the last 6 months of grocery bills, and she claims that she could have been on those grocery runs. She also took the broken lock from my roommate."

"We've lived with Sarah for around 6 years now. She was one of the core girls in our group, and this has only started within the last 14 months. So we care about her as a person, but this behavior can't continue."

"She only recently started saying it's because we make more money than her and that it's only fair we share since we've been friends for so long."

"We've gone to the landlord for theft. He claims that we just need to work it out and don't really have a leg to stand on. We also use a paying portal with him where we automatically split the rent four ways."

"As for buying a fridge, we already bought two 400-dollar coolers, and that still didn't work. Why should we pay an additional few hundred for a fridge and our electric bills would be insane."

"We CANNOT break the lease. We would lose our 4,800 security deposit and need to pay 9.8k for 60 days of rent until they find new tenants (& we can't live there during the 60 days)"

"Her parents are crazy strict and abusive and feel bad for going to her parents."

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH - No A**holes Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.

"NTA."

"If I made tiramisu from scratch after a hard week and someone ate ALL of it without asking and then left a note on the empty dish blaming PMS, their life would be in danger lol" – Tomorrow_Bunny222

"That plate would have been a projectile (not saying AT her, but it would be flying) if someone ate my tiramisu. Hell, even store-bought, but especially made from scratch." – Niodia

"I'd have taken that dirty plate into the food-stealing, room-invading biatch's room and unmade her bed, smeared the remains all over her sheets (redampening first if necessary, for maximum smearability), neatly remade her bed and waited for the screaming when she stumbled in from her late night out." – maddiep81

"Eating all of someone's homemade food is bad enough, not even washing the dish after is straight evil. OP you are NTA. And Sarah may want to consider therapy because it sounds like she may have some sort of disordered eating." – thebuffyb0t

"I was poor for many years and never stole food. Housemates would often pay for my food, which was embarrassing, but you know what I did? I went out of my way to cook for everyone, and I'd make damn sure I knew which food was private and which was used for shared meals. And you know what else I did with my unemployed time??? I cleaned the house for everyone. Like you could eat off the floor."

"Tell her she is buying her own fridge to keep it in her room, and she's banned from the main kitchen, or you're going to the cops. The cops won't do anything, but just as a threat."

"If she had eaten my tiramisu and then left me the dirty dishes, I'd literally hit her because that seems to be what she wants. Jesus f'k that's rude." – anon

"NTA."

"If Sarah is stealing everyone's food, you need to have a house meeting and everyone bar Sarah decides on a solution."

"Also, she's going into your rooms to steal food? That should be an immediate eviction as far as I'm concerned, because your rooms are not common property."

"You didn't ruin the vibe. She did. And now she's pissed because she knows the reckoning is coming." – Front_Rip4064

"Tell her to buy a mini fridge. She brought this on herself. In today's ridiculous economy groceries are MAD expensive, her eating all your groceries is no different than her robbing you. I'd also get a lock for my bedroom door, for good measure. I had a crappy roommate like this once and we ended up having tondo the same thing. Lock the damn fridge because she wouldn't buy her own food."

"Sorry OP, people like this suck. Don't let her make you feel bad though." – JupiterSkyFalls

"NTA."

"Make a list with the price of every ingredient for the tiramisu and anything else with a date to pay you back. It's not okay for her to eat your food."

"In terms of her perishables, since it's a known habit that she cannot share a fridge and leave your and your roommates' food alone, she should look into a mini fridge with a freezer (if she needs the freezer as well) that she can keep in her bedroom. They are relatively inexpensive and think about not having her on the lease when it's time to renew." – RegretPowerful3

"NTA. 'I'm not passive-aggressive. I'm assertively sticking to my boundaries. Just because you say "oops sorry" doesn't mean I've given you permission to keep stealing my food. I don't want you to "get me back". I want the sh*t I bought or made to be there when I want it, when I'm expecting it, and not to have been consumed by you. I do not accept your "sorry." I do not condone your behavior. So since you can't seem to stop yourself, I'm protecting my assets. If this is the only way to be sure that I have what I bought/made, then so be it. You're mad that I'm solving the problem you're presenting. Too bad, so sad. Be a better roommate and this wouldn't happen.' " – Perimentalpause

"Here's a novel idea.........All the roommates stop bringing food into the apartment for a couple of weeks. It will be a hardship for the roommates, but it might be a wake-up call for the food thief. Eat at restaurants or get takeout. If you have a car, keep a cooler with food in the car. If there's nothing to steal she may snap out of it." – Amadecasa

"NTA. Sarah is. Get a small refrigerator for your bedroom, and put the lock on it. Then install double deadbolt locks on your bedroom door. Sarah is rude & greedy with your food. Tell Sarah you're not passive-aggressive, that you're just hungry all the time because she pigs out on your food . And, it never pays you back for your food. Tell her she's the problem." – Mean_Designer_3690

"She needs to see a doctor about this problem, especially if it hasn't always been this way. And she absolutely owes you for the cost of the food she's eaten. You could always go the low road and break into her room and steal some vital stuff, like all her shoes. When she confronts you, tell her you needed them, and you think you all should share your shoes anyway. She'll get the point." – PeanutFunny093

Overall, Redditors thought her roommate was the problem for helping herself to the items in the fridge that were not hers.

They also suggested that someone with her tendency to repeatedly violate the roommate rule of eating someone else's food under the guise of "stress-eating" was worth looking into seeking therapy.