We’ve all poked fun at a friend or family member over something about their life once or twice.
Even though we are clearly being silly and mean no harm whatsoever, they sometimes still have trouble laughing at our jokes.
Most people can just move right on, knowing that we, or whoever was making the joke, was “just kidding…” even if they still were secretly hurt or triggered by what was said.
Others have little patience for their personal lives being the butt of a joke.
The hair color of Redditor throwaway1936463‘s baby boy proved to be an unexpected talking point for her stepfather.
So much so that every time he paid a visit, he felt the need to insinuate something about the original poster (OP)’s marriage.
Having finally had enough, the OP felt the only thing to do was ask her stepfather and mother to leave her house.
Wondering if she overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for kicking my mom and my stepdad out of my house?”
The OP explained why she felt compelled to kick her mother and stepfather out of her house after their most recent visit:
“I 28 F[emale] recently gave birth to my son.”
“My son has blonde hair, so did I up until I was like 4, and my hair has only gotten darker over time.”
“My husband has black hair, I have very dark brown hair now, and our whole families have either one of these colors or similar.”
“Our son having blonde hair is not something anyone else has reacted negatively towards.”
“My mom and my stepdad came over as they usually do once a week.”
“Me and my stepdad don’t have a good relationship, neither is it bad.”
“But every time they have visited, he has made comments about my son’s hair.”
“He jokes about getting one of those DNA kits for my husband and son, jokes about how my husband maybe should check my phone, asks if I have any hot blonde coworkers I have spent a lot of time with, and more stuff in that kind of way.”
“My husband and I always tells him to stop, has explained that it is basic genetics since I had blonde hair.”
“We have always been very polite in trying to get him to stop, but neither of us even finds it remotely funny.”
“My mom doesn’t say anything. I have talked with her and asked her to make him stop, but she says that she would rather not interfere with our relationship with him and that me and my husband should talk more with him.”
“Now, the last time they were over, my husband went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, and my stepdad followed.”
“After a minute, I just heard my husband slam a cabinet and very loudly tell my stepdad to shut the f*ck up or else he could get out immediately.”
“Both me and my mom went to see what happened, my husband explained that my stepdad was going on again about me cheating on my husband.”
“My husband lost it this time. I don’t know, but I also did just that.”
“I told them to leave and to don’t come back until he apologizes.”
“They tried to talk and explain how my stepdad was just joking, but I was stern and wanted them to leave.”
“They eventually did.”
“I texted my mom later that night trying to explain myself, as I felt bad for kicking her out too.”
“She answered back with how my stepdad has been feeling really down, that he was disappointed in how I let my husband treat him and that they both expected some apologies and a lot of work to make up for this.”
“I feel really bad and feel like an a**hole, I know I hurt my mom and my stepdad and that I may have taken a harsh decision in this.”
“My sister told me that she understands my frustration, but it was an unnecessary thing for me to react like that.”
“My husband is on my side and has told me that he is glad they won’t come over.”
“If I was an a**hole for reacting like this, I will apologize.”
“BOTH my husband and I felt bad immediately afterward; both of us thought we were harsh, and both of us wanted to explain ourselves to my mom.”
“However, my husband stopped feeling bad after my mom’s answer, whereas I was still confused and frustrated by it all.”
“I did not apologize for anything.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for kicking her stepfather and mother out of her house.
Everyone agreed that the OP and her husband had made it abundantly clear that they did not appreciate her stepfather’s jokes. The insinuations are particularly harmful, and the OP should not allow them back until they realize that and offer her the apology she deserves.
“Uh. Wait. What?”
“So you’re supposed to not support your spouse’s alleged bad behavior but it’s okay if your mom does?”
“Nope.”
“It was not an overreaction.”
“It was a clear boundary that was set and then trespassed.”
“He broke the rule because he thinks he has a right to or that your rule is meaningless because it doesn’t make sense or is stupid and therefore does not apply to him.”
“And it’s clear that your mother is either completely oblivious or is an enabler, so I absolutely would hold your mother just as accountable as your stepfather.”
“I don’t care how disappointed your stepfather is.”
“He brought this on himself.”
“How many times do you need to be told something?”
“He’s acting like a two-year-old that cannot learn.”
“And now he’s trying to play the victim.”
“I would tell them if they don’t apologize and they’re not coming over anymore, and I would stand my ground and make them know that I mean business when it comes to my boundaries.”
“What’s going to happen when your baby is a little bit older and you tell them not to feed it a certain food and then they just go behind your back and do it anyway?”
“What are the rules?”
“Are they going to deem frivolous and unnecessary that they don’t need to respect?”
“They absolutely keep disrespecting you in your own home and disrespecting your child, which is their grandbaby that they are supposed to love.”
“It sounds like to me they do not love or respect you or your husband or your child.”
“They are the ones who owe the apology 100%.”
“NTA.”- United-Loss4914
“NTA.”
“Your stepfather should never have made those ‘jokes’ in the first place, and your mom should have put a stop to it immediately.”
“They are both at fault, and you’re not the one owing an apology.”
“Imagine your stepfather keeping making this ‘joke’ for years, until your son is old enough to understand it, what kind of damage it would do.”
“I would keep that man away from my child.”- Chimerica35
“Wow.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t find things like this to be remotely amusing because they are so hurtful.”
“Upon hearing you don’t like the joke, the matter should have been forever dropped.”
“NTA.”
“I don’t care if other people shrug this kind of thing off.”
“You clearly don’t.”
“I grew up hearing the jokes about how I must be the milkman’s kid because some of the family swore I presented in childhood as looking like my mom and not my daddy.”
“I remember feeling hurt and then really angry every single time.”
“My grandfather one day just lost it and told his daughters, my dad’s sisters, how cruel and unfunny I found it when I was like 13.”
“So, again – if you don’t think it’s funny?”
“It’s not a damned joke.”
“You did the right thing.”
“Good for you.”
“‘Mom, if you leave me to manage your husband?'”
“‘He will get schooled and get his feelings hurt every single time.'”
“‘This is on both of your heads.'”
“‘I am not tolerating another second of this trashy behavior.'”
“‘Thanks for listening’.”- AndSoItGoes24
“NTA.”
“You tried to talk to both of them several times.”
“It was evident that at some point, the tone would rise.”
“Is it ideal to scream at your stepdad?”
“Of course not.”
“But you’re young parents and are already quite overwhelmed and have exhausted (literally) all other options.”
“How come the people who say hurtful things (or insinuate hurtful things, at least) are the first ones to talk about getting reparations?”- ladyteruki
“Calling you a cheater, especially in your own home, is not a joke.”
“It’s extremely offensive.”
“He’s been told this several times and persists in doing it.”
“He can apologize or stay out of your life.”
“And since your mother seems to think his behavior is okay, she can apologize or stay out of your life too.”
“NTA.”- voyageur1066
For a joke to be successful, it needs to be funny.
It’s hard to think why anyone would find the idea that the OP fathered a child through an extramarital affair funny.
This is something the OP’s mother should consider as she keeps waiting for her daughter to apologize, especially if she ever wants to see her grandson again.